to be disappointed in this newborn present?

[mysticalgardens]

Friends of ours had their 1st baby a couple of months ago around the same time we had our 3rd baby.

Because it was their first child, I put great effort in buying them an amazing gift. I spent well over 100 pounds and put gifts in the box for the baby as well as the new mom and dad (think of nice tea, hot chocolate and soap and glory stuff for her)

I didn't expect them to reciprocate this, I know not everyone has the money available to spend so much time on a gift.

However, when they came over, she gave
me a bag from Shein. When I opened it it had the most disgusting plastic polyester smell. It contained a pink towel and a pink body suit for my baby girl that were made out of really cheap polyester material.

It smelled so bad that I threw it away after they had left.

My sister is due to have her 3rd child at the end of November. She already has a lot, but I bought her some nice socks, body suits and trousers for the baby from Asda (George). The stuff is really lovely and was inexpensive.

So I know that nice baby clothes don't have to cost a lot at all.

AIBU to be a bit disappointed that they made 0 effort when choosing their present?

Being pregnant and giving birth is a big deal to you. Not so much to everyone else

Perhaps they were broke?

This right here.

It isn’t snobbery, TEMU and Shein are selling dangerous goods with fake certificates of safety. They should be banned in the U.K. I’d especially not trust anything from there for babies.

You say you didn't expect similar back but tbh you're pissed off because they didn't spend more so you kind of did expect a better gift.

Shein or whatever the spelling are still in business and there's a reason, because thousands if not millions buy from them.

They might as first time parents have their heads up their arses which is common and might not have a great deal of money having bought everything for their first baby.

I agree with what you're saying and I have a friend who is similar to you. She spoke to me about how much she valued my time and effort but that she found gifts stressful. We take our kids away together each year instead, in the UK, not abroad. We love to see our kids enjoying each others company, as do we.

I think the OP doesn't feel her efforts have been valued and that's the problem.

It's a big deal to people who love and care about you x

Shein is shit.

Quite.

Sad reflection of society that a healthy child being born and mother surviving both pregnancy and childbirth is deemed not worth celebrating.

Not just that. They sell dangerous goods that aren’t to British or European safety standards. They should be banned. Cheap rubbish isn’t worth the risk, especially for babies.

The op had just had her 1st I think she was a bit preoccupied

So you do understand that a gift can have thought put into it even if the receiver doesn't appreciate it. You give the benefit of the doubt to the OP but not her friend. Why?

Lots of people truly don't know Shein is unethical. Or if they do they still use it - I'm sure most of the people on this thread sneering at Shein use Amazon. I don't buy from either because of ethical issues but I had never heard of the safety problems with Shein, so can understand someone adjusting to life with a new baby might not have, either.

But so many people on MN are always determined to assign the worst of possible motives to people they call friends.

Yes,the friend had just had her first baby. That's a really good point.

I hope that in the future, when babies are more settled OP and her friend can reconnect!

Don't give to receive.

Try to see it as a nice gesture and let it go. Personally, I find hot chocolate sickly and I’d donate Soap and Glory toiletries to the school raffle-but I would still think the person was being thoughtful and generous with such a gift as I know other people like thing like that.

Perhaps it's because I also don't shop at Amazon or Shein! People might think me a snob but I would feel insulted by a gift from Shein due to the ethics. I have happily received baby gifts from supermarkets/Primark etc, they've all been lovely!

I feel like I've derailed the thread a bit so I'm going to exit!

Bye!

Cares about ethics, loves Primark. Make it make sense.

You’re still expecting presents for a third baby?! Come on now - by the time I reached the third I was so grateful not to receive outfits the baby would never wear, or booties that would live in the back of the cupboard until well grown out of.

How is her post snobby? She said she had bought baby clothes as presents from George Asda which is great quality and value for money and within reach everyone. Presents don’t have to be expensive to show you care.
Shes probably got no time to spare for you OP, she choose a cheap present to go with a SHEIN order for herself she was going to make anyway to get a free delivery.
OP, your friend is thoughtless.

Oh blimey - am I out of touch with reality?? People are genuinely moaning about gifts?! I’m sorry op, I’m tired and out of empathy but even if I wasn’t I’d suggest there are bigger things to worry about.

can you remember what their gift for your first was like? I give big gifts for the first child ( new parents etc) but 2nd/3rd not so much…

Quite enjoyed the story on radio earlier about an increasing number of scorpions being shipped in shitein items packed in china. Probably won't stop people buying their cheap crap though

Teabags, hot chocolate and soap don't seem like carefully thought out gifts - they are generic and dull IMO. I mean who likes getting toiletries of a brand they haven't chosen? Do most adults even drink hot chocolate and again with teabags most people have a preferred type that they already buy on a regular basis. They probably didn't think it was that great a gift.

I don't know why people buy from crappy sites like shein. Especially for a baby.

Sounds like your love language is gifts which is setting you up for a lifetime of resentment and unfulfilled expectations; it's not fair they didn't get me something I like when I always try hard and because I never say anything I just sit around feeling angry and unappreciated. Focus on getting people what they need and that includes yourself. If you want XYZ then get it, anything else is a happy bonus. Don't expect people to mind read what you might want then feel disappointed when it doesn't happen.

She said about George at ASDA having nice stuff that's not expensive! Which can be ordered online, along with TU from Sainsbury's. F&F from Tesco can't be ordered online, much to my disgust.

Why are you binning new usable items? Wash them and donate them, how snobby and rude.