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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be disappointed in this newborn present?

216 replies

mysticalgardens · 12/10/2024 19:44

Friends of ours had their 1st baby a couple of months ago around the same time we had our 3rd baby.

Because it was their first child, I put great effort in buying them an amazing gift. I spent well over 100 pounds and put gifts in the box for the baby as well as the new mom and dad (think of nice tea, hot chocolate and soap and glory stuff for her)

I didn't expect them to reciprocate this, I know not everyone has the money available to spend so much time on a gift.

However, when they came over, she gave
me a bag from Shein. When I opened it it had the most disgusting plastic polyester smell. It contained a pink towel and a pink body suit for my baby girl that were made out of really cheap polyester material.

It smelled so bad that I threw it away after they had left.

My sister is due to have her 3rd child at the end of November. She already has a lot, but I bought her some nice socks, body suits and trousers for the baby from Asda (George). The stuff is really lovely and was inexpensive.

So I know that nice baby clothes don't have to cost a lot at all.

AIBU to be a bit disappointed that they made 0 effort when choosing their present?

OP posts:
mellycat96 · 12/10/2024 22:42

mysticalgardens · 12/10/2024 19:44

Friends of ours had their 1st baby a couple of months ago around the same time we had our 3rd baby.

Because it was their first child, I put great effort in buying them an amazing gift. I spent well over 100 pounds and put gifts in the box for the baby as well as the new mom and dad (think of nice tea, hot chocolate and soap and glory stuff for her)

I didn't expect them to reciprocate this, I know not everyone has the money available to spend so much time on a gift.

However, when they came over, she gave
me a bag from Shein. When I opened it it had the most disgusting plastic polyester smell. It contained a pink towel and a pink body suit for my baby girl that were made out of really cheap polyester material.

It smelled so bad that I threw it away after they had left.

My sister is due to have her 3rd child at the end of November. She already has a lot, but I bought her some nice socks, body suits and trousers for the baby from Asda (George). The stuff is really lovely and was inexpensive.

So I know that nice baby clothes don't have to cost a lot at all.

AIBU to be a bit disappointed that they made 0 effort when choosing their present?

Sounds like they weren't planning to give you anything for your third baby, but they got given the shein thing for their baby, and didn't want it, and thought rather than throw it away they'd give it to you in case you wanted it. I wouldn't take it personally.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 12/10/2024 23:00

Lots of people buy baby clothes from shein, would she definitely know that it’s not something you would dress your baby in? Lots of people don’t have anything against polyester and aren’t bothered by chemical smells on neWould she dress her own child in clothes from shein? If she’s bought you the kind of outfit she’d put her own child in it’s not really her fault that you didn’t like it because you don’t like synthetic fabrics.

ABH100 · 12/10/2024 23:06

Yes someone got us some baby clothes on shein. I'm not fussy, I will happily use hand me downs, most other shops. I save all my clothes for another mother, but the shein stuff went in the bin. I tried to wash it and see but the material was so horrible. My husband put it on our baby one night and it was making him sweat horribly. I took it straight off and into the bin. They got us two big lots of it. I felt terrible, absolutely lovely people who gave it to us but couldn't use it or pass it on.

scatters2004 · 12/10/2024 23:13

Spottydotty268 · 12/10/2024 20:00

Seen as you asked: Yes YABU. Your attitude is awful to be honest and more fool you for spending £100+ to expect a similar present in return (which is what it sounds like seen as you told us how much you spent on them when it actually has nothing to do with it unless you expect the same back). How mercenary.

This.

Get a grip.

shootingstar1 · 12/10/2024 23:19

It's the thought that counts....

Threeboystwocatsandadog · 12/10/2024 23:23

Mumsnet doesn’t much like gift vouchers but that’s my go to present these days. Not because I haven’t put any thought into it but because it was the most useful thing I was given when I had my 3. That said, I do sometimes give an outfit from Blade and Rose. My niece loves their clothes for her little girl but I have given to one friend who didn’t seem keen and I think prefers Denim and chinos! You can’t always get it right.

Bthebestucanb · 12/10/2024 23:30

Sometimes less is more at least this was my first thought when I thought about this post. You are obviously a very thoughtful & kind person OP. The fact is the biggest & best gifts are often seen to be a reflection of the givers resources & artistry rather than the thoughtful intention meant.

Grabyourpassportandmyhand · 12/10/2024 23:37

I wouldn't like anything from Shein either OP so YANBU.

I expect they regifted something they received themselves. Perhaps they didn't realise it was from Shein. I regifted something I received and later realised it was from a German supermarket. I was embarrassed because I wouldn't have gifted it if I had known where it was from.

Inspireme2 · 12/10/2024 23:39

The purpose of buying and giving is a lovely gesture, not a competitive one.
Some people do not see the Shein qaulity but the bargain, as I did when i was gifted something as a gift off that site, utter shite.
I would of washed it and sent it to a op shop myself.

Kurokurosuke · 12/10/2024 23:49

I really don't like Soap and Glory stuff. And trying to have a hot drink with a newborn around? well that would have felt like sarcasm so...

But I still would have been really happy that you had thought me. Took time to get something and see me. Even though it would not have ben my kind of gift at ll

Orangeoranges42 · 13/10/2024 00:04

Maybe they’d just had their first child and we’re still figuring out life and knackered.

perhaps not the best choice of gift but it’s the thought that counts?

Edingril · 13/10/2024 00:06

Your posts come across as you thinking you are a better person than them and they are not acknowledging it

I can't put my finger on it but it is like you need to be treated like a child yourself

LittlePudding1 · 13/10/2024 00:56

What did your friend buy you for baby 1 & 2? by baby 3 I imagine most people are fed up of giving you gifts

ekalf · 13/10/2024 01:28

"I didn't expect them to reciprocate this, I know not everyone has the money available to spend so much time on a gift."

Doesn't sound like it Grin

Lavenderandbrown · 13/10/2024 01:59

I can’t even read this entire thread it’s ridiculous. Op you gave a thoughtful generous gift. It’s fine not mercenary or materialistic to mention the amount. It was reciprocated but you didn’t like the gift
it wasn’t your taste wasn’t really presented as a gift and seemed unthoughtful . I would hate it too especially the smell. And of course posters think you should wash and dry it and donate it to charity. Throw it out and be done with it. It’s a shit gift and a now MN wants to make it a burden you are ecologically responsible for. I would rather not receive a gift then be given regift or something the givers know I won’t like. However I would now let it go. Enjoy your lovely baby and family and your friends baby too. Keep this experience in mind for future birthday parties.

GRex · 13/10/2024 02:48

(think of nice tea, hot chocolate and soap and glory stuff for her)
I really wouldn't want any of this stuff, to me that would be junk that I'd have to find a space for or give away, so just adding a task. With older kids, at least this kind of stuff can be dumped on a school fair, but she wouldn't have that outlet with a baby. I wouldn't want the pink towel and polyester babygrow either to be fair. I would say thank you politely to both sets of gifts and give them away somehow, which I'm guessing both of you did and the "threw away" is just dramatic speech.

Maybe you guys should stop giving each other gifts, or stick to vouchers?

Grabyourpassportandmyhand · 13/10/2024 10:12

And of course posters think you should wash and dry it and donate it to charity. Throw it out and be done with it. It’s a shit gift and a now MN wants to make it a burden you are ecologically responsible for

Exactly this. Throw it into the bin and try to forget about it.

Ilovelurchers · 13/10/2024 13:50

My post on here has clearly been reported and hidden - I am not angry about this but I genuinely want to understand what I did wrong so I don't make the same mistake again.

I did say that I didn't think Shein stuff was harmful to babies after it had been washed, but I also said that was only to my knowledge, and I was happy to be corrected if wrong...... So I made it clear I wasn't trying to pass my opinion off as concrete fact.

If the person (people?) who reported me wouldn't mind telling me why I would honestly be grateful. I feel a bit upset actually, and worried I have done something awful without realising it.

I only really posted because I know a lot of people have very little money and use Shein for their kids out of expediency, and I didn't want those people to feel judged - I often think that scruples like ethical shopping are ones that sadly only the better off can easily afford to have. If you need to clothe your family, you need to clothe them. (I use charity shops myself but not everyone has access to them, depending where they live and what hours they work).

Have asked HQ for clarification too. Again, I am genuinely sorry to whoever I offended.

EatSleepSleepRepeat · 13/10/2024 14:04

I think she made an effort n as much as she browsed ajd placed an order and it arived on time to give it to you.

But anyone buying from shein has low standards because as you say, they are a shit company for many reasons, so you're fighting a losing battle.

Basically I wouldn't expect a nice gift from anyone that shops at shein. And I'm not snobby, I'm more than happy with charity shop gifts or no gifts at all. I literally hate shein.

Bearbookagainandagain · 13/10/2024 14:31

I don't think it's a money issue, it's down to taste. Most of the clothes we got for our little girl were absolute pink shit.

dreamer24 · 13/10/2024 14:54

I'd genuinely rather have an outfit from Shein than soap and glory stuff 😂

GoldenNuggets08 · 13/10/2024 15:09

Same 😅 soap & glory stuff and teabags would be completely useless to me. But I'd still be grateful, say thanks and appreciate the effort. I certainly wouldn't be bothered making a thread complaining someone got me a present that wasn't to my taste 🙈

Grabyourpassportandmyhand · 13/10/2024 15:47

dreamer24 · 13/10/2024 14:54

I'd genuinely rather have an outfit from Shein than soap and glory stuff 😂

At least you can regift S&G. It isn’t fair to pass Shein tat on.

Mumoftwochildrenand6furkids · 13/10/2024 17:57

Whilst I agree that is an crap company to buy stuff from, its their first baby lots of cost and not much time to spend looking for gifts to be honest you spent far to much and you cant expect to buy exspenive gifts for other just for them to spend as much money on you. Id just say thanks and then what you do with it is up to you.

Bugbabe1970 · 13/10/2024 18:05

I think your gift was over the top