To take my toddler to my growth scan? No childcare.

[alba146]

Hi everyone,

So I have a growth scan next week for baby. Normally my husband will stay with our toddler but he cannot get off work at all. Just one of those things- never happened before! We don't have much family. And the family/friends we do have are away on holiday. But as we all know, you can't take children to scans, I do understand but seems crazy in respect of single parents and people with no childcare etc.

I did try to rearrange, they said I need the scan in the 7 day period of the date and I have to have a consultant appointment on the same day also. the only other time would've been the same story so wouldn't have helped swapping.

So I thought, it's fine I'll just take her with me, she'll be okay I'll bring something to keep her entertained and her buggy. There genuinely isn't anything else I can do.

I asked the woman if this was okay, she just shut it down and said under no circumstances can she come. I explained and she wasn't budging, but then said she was unable to cancel the scan without approval from consultant as it's very necessary 😵‍💫 I do understand but she was so rude and I genuinely don't know what she wanted me to do (make Mary poppins appear spontaneously perhaps?).

So I am still at square one, scan still stands. I think my toddler would be fine (but again nothing I can do really if she is unsettled☹️).

So AIBU to just take her anyway and see how it goes? If they turn me away they turn me away. It really is ridiculous, I understand with older kids and the possibility of scans having upsetting findings etc. but for babies and toddlers I just don't know? Super stressed and it's made me even more nervous to have 2 under 3 ☹️ wish we had a bigger support network than we do ❤️‍🩹

A friend had a situation where she had to unexpectedly stay in hospital and had nobody on hand to care for her one-year-old (this was before I met her). Her DD had to go into emergency foster care for the two nights then back to my friend once she left hospital. It happens. Some people literally have nobody on hand.

This.

Experienced student? Wtf??

some people have had very sheltered lives.
as a CSA survivor, I am NEVER leaving my child alone with some rando, I don’t care if they’re on Bubble, how many DBS checks they show me, whatever. And people are going around “just get a sitter/student/neighbour”

beggars belief

This! My check up resulted in baby being born very premature. Had I left the hospital then I would’ve lost her. I was monitored for still birth from 21 weeks, no way would I chance walking out!

@alba146

Hope it all works out for you x

My hospital I took my 3 year olds to a few appointments as had nobody else and the midwife said it was fine they don’t ban children as all it does is stop people coming to important appointments and we live in quite a deprived area

Our hospital had the twelve week scans and infertility scans in the same room. Yeah that was pleasant. Sorry about your experience. Sounds horrendous.

Go on an app - sitters are good we used them a couple of times when desperate! - the sitter can come to the hospital and sit in the cafe w your child. Ideal if they can also meet beforehand if possible,
I should imagine the hospital would not allow the toddler in the scanning room/appt.

Sounds like my hospital, it is a terrible practice. During my extended infertility issues l had to go to one of those scans, had to wait ages to get booked in as the man in front wanted to argue about going into the 12 week scan with his pregnant partner. It was during COVID when scans were just the patient. He argued for ages, in the end they still said no -big surprise! I controlled myself and manage to not say can l just get checked in without this debate going round in circles and at least you can get pregnant.

When I was having my daughter, the scan waiting room was shared for lots of pregnancy related stuff so you could take kids in there, just not in the actual scan room. Not sure how that's helpful though :(

I agree.