My son is almost 27 & never had a relationship, I worry he's going to end up lonely

[Onthecarpet2002]

Just this. I know some of you are going to say it's nothing to do with me but I think it's natural to worry about your ds. He's good looking & very fit, a nice lad but probably a bit shy. He's in the RAF & comes home most weekends as most of them do. He goes out occasionally at home but his friends are starting to settle down a bit & to the gym.
The only holiday he's had with mates this year is a RAF work trip to Cyprus where he had a few days free before he had to come back again.
There's so many ladies on munsnet asking where the good men are - there's one right here at the weekends! I know from a friends daughter that he's been on Tinder, obviously had no luck there. He seems happy enough with his life, says he is, but I don't know if deep down he might want a partner.
I do worry that as he gets older he's going to end up being a lonely man.

Ridiculous post. You're 100% certain that this lad you know diddly squat about is a fickle, porn addicted player. Christ. I feel sorry for young people now, especially men actually. I teach teens about relationships and sex and the amount of time we spend on all the potential disasters and what can go wrong, I'm not surprised they're so wary or guarded. Obviously I know it's crucial they learn certain things but I can imagine some of the lads thinking it's just safer not to bother at all as any sort of approach could be seen as abusive, dangerous or pushy.

The later you leave getting into a stable relationship the better. Rushing young people into committed relationships is a terrible idea.

27 is really young to be settling down.

Leave him alone.

He might like men?

Rude

oh fgs 🤦🏼‍♀️🙄

It's going to be tricky if he's only around at weekends to be fair. I've done long distance but we were in the same place for a while at first. These days with all the apps and casual stuff I don't know if long distance commitments are as popular with young people.

Are you sure he hasn’t had casual relationships that he hasn’t told his mother about?

My DBro never had girlfriends when he was younger - he was shy as a teenager then in his mid 20s he was busy doing a 2nd degree and shift work. He met his girlfriend on one of the dating sites at 28 (tinder I think).
4 years later and they are still together and have bought a house.

He's got time :)

I could have written the same post! My thoroughly decent son hasn’t had any ( or few) relationships, also mid twenties.

Please ignore the rude comments, OP. Of course you worry and want him to be happy, you’re his mum. I hope he does find love and happiness, and at 27 he still has plenty of chances. With luck, he’ll stay in touch with his friends who are starting to settle down, and meet potential partners through them, as I did very happily.

Of all the crazy responses on Mumsnet, this has to be the craziest.

Where on earth did you get that from? I missed the bit where OP was trying to force someone to be his comfort woman.

Women aren’t also responsible for other women’s loneliness, but I’ve never heard anyone dim enough to give this irrelevant reply on all the very many ‘I’m lonely, I don’t have any friends’ posts.

Well, it's obviously not happening at 25 for the OPs son and doesn't for very many others either!

My DH was 35 when I met him and we have been married for decades

I’m suprised they all come home at weekends. My husband used to be in the military and Friday afternoon they’d all go out to the pubs and bars together. Usually to meet women! :)

He will find his way women love a military guy!

I'd wonder if being shy, he is not going to mention relationships if they are in the early stages.

@fashionqueen0123 I was surprised too. But he says most do go home if they can. My dad was in the Raf too in the 50s to 60s & he used to come home every weekend when he was stationed close enough.
They have a good night out on Thursdays I do know that, involving lots of beer. Trouble is with ds he likes his own comforts & home cooked food, it's too comfortable at home compared to Raf accommodation 😅

My brother us in his 50's and had never had a long term relationship.
He's never wanted children or to get married and seems happy in his own company. He has animals, hobbies and friends.

Another friend of mine, also ex military isn't good in relationships and will openly admit this. He has lots of 'meet ups' but again seems happy with this.

Try not to worry, he's clearly living a good life And still young.

I am the first to agree with this when it comes to befriending your elderly (potentially pervy) male neighbour because he's "lonely" or not feeling obliged to chat to random men on the street but its not wrong or inappropriate for a man to seek out a loving relationship if that is what he wants- many women want that too.

I wouldnt worry too much OP. He's likely not ready to settle down if he's on Tinder as thats more for hook ups/casual dating.

Let him be - plenty of my friends didnt find their person until they were in their 30s and some into their 40s.

I met my DH at age 29 and had a series of disastrous relationships prior to that which took me quite a while to get over emotionally, so dating certainly isnt a sign that everything is "great". My happiest times prior to meeting my DH were time spent with my close friends, not in bad relationships.

Maybe he has other prioritise right now than a relationship. He might be career focused or saving for hid own house etc. He might already be dating someone that works weekends so is free to come home during them. It's all guess work really. If he says he is happy as he is then trust he knows what he wants

I assumed 25/27 aren't dissimilar.

I thought 25 was late. I'm just saying it will happen.

OP you might know very little about what he’s actually up to. I used Tinder in my 20’s and it wasn’t for marriage 🤣 I had a lot of fun! That I would never ever have told my mother about. He’s young, he’s telling you he’s happy, he’s clearly active and fit and well.

I met my now husband three days before I turned 30. Lots of people in their 20’s just want to enjoy that decade before thinking about settling down.

If he’s happy, you should be too - things will happen when they happen!

Bloody rude

What a stupid comment.

Just talking to DH about this, young people don’t seem to out as much as we did. Also people perhaps don’t “settle” as easily, theres very little pressure to find someone and settle down these days for men or women. I think it’s just a different environment. People in my family are getting married in their 30’s now (I’m asian so this is a bit of a shift) to people they’ve met at work, tinder or through friends. There are definitely some who probably aren’t interested in ever being married but lead happy full lives. Tbh I think it’s a good thing to be settling down when you are a fully formed adult with a whole life.

If he seems happy OP I wouldn't worry, he sounds like he’d be appealing to women (men too) so if wants to he will probably find someone at some point. Theres time.

No need for that, she's just concerned for her son, as we all are for our kids, even adult ones