Separate cakes at a joint birthday party

[WittyOrca]

Hi all,
We're organising a birthday party (5yo) for our DC and his friend. We didn't plan to organise anything this year, but a friend's mum suggested a joint party and we didn't object. I now have a feeling that they are just trying to arrange everything the way they like, at a split cost. I don't mind it too much but went a bit mad when his mum suggested baking a cake for 2 of them, taking only into account her son's cake shape and character preference, not asking about my DC's wishes. She is mediocre hobby baker and I would prefer ordering from a professional. My DS would like a cake in a different character shape and we wanted to adhere to this as it's his birthday. We mentioned this to friend's mum and she got pretty mad. She now doesn't even want to talk to us. I'm wondering, should I just give in or order a separate cake to fulfil my DC bday wish, as I've originally planned? Is having 2 cakes (similar size) uncommon at joint parties?

I just want to echo others re how bonkers her behaviour is, regardless of how talented or not she is as a baker. I've just been through a joint party with a friend and the conversation about cake/s consisted of three WhatsApp messages. How amazing that she managed to blow it up like that.

Icing can be tricky. With my cakes, I just keep everything on the outside undecorated and open.

I'm also convinced that the cakes would not matter in the grand scheme of things. I'm also not bothered with the potential reaction of parents and whether they would think low or high of me based on the cake. If they did it openly, that's the crowd to avoid.

Totally unhelpful response, OP - sorry - but I just wanted to say that children's birthday parties, your own and other people's, are the most horrific memory of my children's early years for me.

They are a nightmare from beginning to end and it's utter joy when they stop.

No worries. I've only had 1 during childhood and was quite a happy memory.

I've been to about 5 parties so far during DC's
nursery days and didn't enjoy them either, unfortunately. It's something about the soft-play arrangements these days that you cannot do too much about. They lack spontaneity in my view. First they let the kids play and then they have to sit and eat sort of. I don't have a feeling DC enjoyed them.
The ones organised at halls to hire were also a bit chaotic from what I've observed on a small sample.
I'm not sure if I'd be able to organise them every year. Some parents are into it, but I see how exhausting they can be.

Definitely separate cakes - the CF parent is basically trying to get you to pay for half of her kids birthday. I haven't read the full thread, but wouldn't be surprised if she wants to charge you half of what she would sell the cake for... so it basically costs her next to nothing.

We did a joint party for our 2 sons one year. Birthdays are 2 weeks apart, both wanted superhero theme and the older son only had a few friends coming. We still did them a cake each despite them being brothers, and it would have been easier to have done just one! So for two friends it should 100% fe their own cakes!

Hope you don't get too shafted with the whole situation.

DISREGARD