MIL strikes again

[againanothernamechange]

DP and I have a 10 month old, we live a 40 min drive from his dads house, we have an agreement in place that once a month for childcare reasons his dad and step mum will have GC. we have to drop GC off, he stays overnight and then GP's will drop him back home after work the following day. I admit, this month we've had to ask them to have him on a couple more occasions than usual because of mine the DP's work.

GC is due to go today, he's been off colour all week, and is now full of cold but MIL (its easier to call her that) is questioning if he's well enough for the visit! she says that she had planned for her own DD's child to be there 'for quality time apparently!!' (theres a 6 month difference), but if our son is poorly, she will have to cancel this as its not fair to pass any germs on!!!

I simply can't take time off work, nor can my DP and its just a cold!

AIBU by sending GC or YANBU.. its just a cold and she's being precious about the other GC

Bloody hell, parent your child. You're lucky to have someone willing to provide childcare at all.

If he was at nursery they would be sending him home. It’s just the reality of babies and childcare, unfortunately. You are really lucky to have family childcare but you need to adjust your expectations slightly.

But in this case you are wrong - you or your partner should be looking after your child and not risking making your in laws sick!

Starting on solids is not advised before 6 months so maybe she is just trying to help.

You shouldn’t even be sending a 10 month old somewhere else overnight. They need their parents at that age. To complain about having to look after your own child when they are ill is just unbelievable.

Why did you have a child?!

She provides free child care and you have the audacity to be angry with her because she doesn't want to get sick or make her grandchild sick?!

He needs to be at home with you or your husband. Nothing worse than looking after a poorly baby who just wants the comfort of mum or dad. He'll just be really miserable and it's not fair on your baby or in laws.

Just seen your update! So, she's willing to get sick herself to care for your child so that you don't have to take a day off work. And you're complaining about her?!

And what has that got to do with this situation? Are you claiming she is judging you by saying she doesn't and to expose the other child?

If you feel so strongly about her then should stop using her for free childcare and find other alternatives. Sorry you are still very unreasonable in this situation.

You're being unreasonable. Her questioning prior judgment seems to be clouding your judgment re her not wanting to expose the other kids to getting sick of it can be avoided. I'm afraid she doesn't owe you childcare. I say this as the parent of a toddler so I get it's hard, but she isn't in the wrong here.

How has she 'struck again' does she make a habit of letting you down?

Questioning isn't "judging", especially when it's going against mainstream advice, like "look after your baby when he is ill".

You are being unreasonable. Your child is sick and it's your/DP's responsibility to take care of him.

Until everyone told you you were wrong you post how she treats you. Right

You def shouldn’t be putting them in this awkward position. Of course they will get ill from your kid’s virus. It’s on you to look after them, not your PIL.

Some posts are that entitled that all I can thinking is fucking wow!

Surely this is a reverse.

She may have been unreasonable about other things (though I do wonder whether you are interpreting her interest and desire for chat as "judging") but she sounds as if she’s being totally reasonable about this. She has told you she will cancel her other grandchild if you’re really stuck. (She will probably catch your child's cold herself, though.) What more do you want?

I agree with this. It's a shock but when you have a baby there are loads of things you previously took for granted that you just can't do any more, at least for a while.

Please do look at your attitude towards parenting and put your child first. He's totally dependent on you.

Seriously! Advice for years has been 6 months weening and move into own bedroom beyond 1 year old - sorry but it's a you problem not MIL

How long has this arrangement been going on for where your child is looked after by MIL whilst you're working?

You seem to be ultra sensitive to your MiL - is there any way that you are able to find alternative arrangements going forward for childcare so you don't have to rely on her?

Is this a reverse? How has MIL struck "again". I don't think the questions about weaning and own room are judgemental, particularly as they have him overnight.

Pay for your own childcare then 🤷‍♀️

No, you don’t send him off somewhere with a cold. Why would your MIL want to catch a cold, they are so irritating.