MIL strikes again

[againanothernamechange]

DP and I have a 10 month old, we live a 40 min drive from his dads house, we have an agreement in place that once a month for childcare reasons his dad and step mum will have GC. we have to drop GC off, he stays overnight and then GP's will drop him back home after work the following day. I admit, this month we've had to ask them to have him on a couple more occasions than usual because of mine the DP's work.

GC is due to go today, he's been off colour all week, and is now full of cold but MIL (its easier to call her that) is questioning if he's well enough for the visit! she says that she had planned for her own DD's child to be there 'for quality time apparently!!' (theres a 6 month difference), but if our son is poorly, she will have to cancel this as its not fair to pass any germs on!!!

I simply can't take time off work, nor can my DP and its just a cold!

AIBU by sending GC or YANBU.. its just a cold and she's being precious about the other GC

Most people say on here that they wouldn’t keep their child off school with a cold, I’m unsure what the difference is

The difference is that when you’re older you feel iller and it takes you twice as long to get rid of it.

I know what you mean - my gorgeous gs is very free with his germs everytime we see him!

That doesn’t make sense, if that’s the case you wouldn’t put child into school then

This thread is just one of the many reasons why we should try not to pass colds onto others, it causes all sorts of problems.
Stay home if you can with a cold. Keep your kids home if you can if they have a cold.
Adults who have respiratory symptoms and can't stay home should wear a mask if they can.
We all need to start looking out for each other more.

I can assure you it’s true. I know from bitter experience. As far as I know there aren’t many people of grandparent age in schools.

So your MIL raises safety concerns with you on the basis that all advice suggests to wait until 6 months and she’s the bad person? Get a grip.

YOUR child is sick so it’s up to YOU to look after your own sick child not other people. You should have taken time off work ! Your in-laws are doing you a favour and you’re putting them in a challenging position. You sound very entitled.

I totally think the OP is fully unreasonable. However, I disagree about a 10 month old shouldn’t be going somewhere else overnight! Quite a few kids that age have sleep overs at GP. We went away for a wedding for 3 nights when one of mine was 10 months old, they were absolutely fine with the GPs.

Yes but there’s old teachers that are grandparents age but people don’t keep children off with a cold

It doesn't but @BIossomtoes meant MiL, I think. Older people tend to catch cold more easily and they are much sicker with them, therefore it's entirely reasonable to want to avoid catching a cold. OP seems entitled and as if she is doing in-laws a favour dropping GC off, whereas it's in-laws doing her a massive favour. She should have kept her baby at home and taken a day off. Ffs, she said the child had been poorly all week!

Would the child be well enough to attend nursery?
no? Shouldn’t go to GP then.

also, do parents never think teeny children and babies and toddlers probably just want to be at home with their parents when their sick :-(

If you are a teacher, it is inherent in the job you will get exposure to kids. It's the same as doctors and nurses. It comes in the territory of that kind of work.

Grandparents are not paid workers. They are doing a favour. Would you not feel uncomfortable if a friend sent an obviously sick kid over to your house for a playdate with your kids? For the grand parents to get exposed, they themselves get sick, then they have to delay seeing their other grandchildren to avoid getting them sick. Ultimately it's the parent's responsibility to look after their own sick child, who is only 10 months old. I wouldn't feel comfortable babysitting a sick 10 month old in case something happens and the baby needs to go to hospital and I have to make those decisions because the parents are at work.

I did mean Mil. And as someone whose grandchildren have made them ill on numerous occasions I know what I’m talking about.

@Notamum12345577 anyone choosing to send a 10 month old to relatives overnight maybe shouldn’t have a baby…can’t believe you admit to sending a baby away for 3 nights so you could go to a wedding that’s shocking behaviour.

Oh dear. Mine went to my mum’s for three nights when he was five months so I could go to a festival.

It’s not the GP place to look after your sick kid and yea she is being completely reasonable to not want her other grandchild to get sick too, O E of you will have to take time off

Sad for your MIL to see you make questionable decision after questionable decision and be powerless to do anything about it. Solids and own room at four months? Sending him off to be with cousin and grandparent when he's ill? Be a mother.

Yabu. A child wants it's parents when I'll and why on earth do you want risking spreading the cold etc via mil to your neice and nephew. Take the time off like other parents and look after your own I'll child.

@StevieNic wtf? LOL. My baby stayed out from the age of 6 weeks . I needed a sleep and I had the opportunity , I took it. And what?

Also she will be staying out again when I go on a night out (she's three months old) I'm sure she will survive. You sound like you're jealous of those who have support tbh

In your opinion. Lots would disagree with you

@Notamum12345577 you are batshit crazy. I bet you are also one of those women who won't go anywhere unless your kids are invited!

A baby will be just fine being cared for by a loving family member, who knows what they are doing.
When you think about it, we are sent home from hospital with our newborns and done if us have never even held a baby until we had our own. But the grandparents have. Personally I felt my babies were safer being looked after by my mum (ex intensive care nurse) than me. The notion that leaving them overnight would somehow make me undeserving of my kids is absolute nonsense.

Might have name checked wrong poster there. Apologies

I was about to say 🤣 Yeah I was the one who left a 10 month old with GP for 3 days, another poster said that is shocking behaviour and people who do that shouldn’t have had kids

@Notamum12345577 it is shocking behaviour and I’m so sorry your baby wasn’t cared for properly by you, thank goodness for your family picking up the slack.