MIL strikes again

[againanothernamechange]

DP and I have a 10 month old, we live a 40 min drive from his dads house, we have an agreement in place that once a month for childcare reasons his dad and step mum will have GC. we have to drop GC off, he stays overnight and then GP's will drop him back home after work the following day. I admit, this month we've had to ask them to have him on a couple more occasions than usual because of mine the DP's work.

GC is due to go today, he's been off colour all week, and is now full of cold but MIL (its easier to call her that) is questioning if he's well enough for the visit! she says that she had planned for her own DD's child to be there 'for quality time apparently!!' (theres a 6 month difference), but if our son is poorly, she will have to cancel this as its not fair to pass any germs on!!!

I simply can't take time off work, nor can my DP and its just a cold!

AIBU by sending GC or YANBU.. its just a cold and she's being precious about the other GC

That's shocking behaviour. Heh.

Women know your place.

Yes thank goodness for the family picking up the slack...as loving relatives commonly do.
The alternative was leaving the baby in a box in the shed.

@pictoosh the alternative is simply not going on a 3-day trip and leaving your baby?

If you like.

Other people do things differently according to their own circumstances. You shouldn't be shocked by that...or judgemental.

@StevieNic you do you.

I think it would be reasonable to not leave a baby with someone they didn't know very well and therefore felt safe with.
But if a person is fortunate enough to have a very supportive and hands on family, it's good for them to have some time for themselves. My babies were raised in my mum and dad's house as much as mine - they were surrounded by people who loved them and were more than capable of looking after them. On the rare occasions my dh and I could afford to go away then they were little, my kids were just fine.

I’m a grandmother and I also used to work in a high level corporate job, so I get both angles.

if you’re relying on a grandparent for childcare so you can go to sick, as a grandmother, I’d be right there for my grandchild and to help out my child.

yrs, of course I’d want to see my other grandchild but if that arrangement was purely a play date, no childcare needed, I’d have my sick grandchild and cancel the other. It isn’t as though seeing the children are rare events.

It is just a play date getting cancelled. Work commitments are more important and help from grandparents to help support our children in child rearing and career takes precedence.

Why? As long as the baby is loved and cared for by a relative then it's fine. I wished I had a loving relative who did that for me. It takes a village to bring up a child.

@StevieNic deffo jealous of those able to have a life outside of being a parent. You sound nuts

Good gracious clearly a few batshit crazy people around-our son was at his grandparents from 14 weeks for 2 nights a week and I had a nanny share 3 days- they loved it and offered it themselves as a help- carried in till he started nursery at 2. If they wanted to go away I took time off. Consequently he always had an amazing relationship with his grandparents

I admit to going on several 5 day holidays without him too at various ages

🤣

How many children of other people do you take in as part of your villager role?

When you've been teaching enough you seem to develop some immunity from all the stuff children bring in, it's a bit like being vaccinated with a live virus!

Haven’t read full thread but another entitled post about MIL

PIL agree to once a month childcare - you've already dumped your child on them more frequently, now you think they are being unreasonable to not take him when he is sick and they have another child there.
In their position I'd be refusing all future childcare - you clearly do not appreciate the huge favour that they are doing you.

Not only that they ask for Money for emergencies and when they ask what for they lie and say it’s for something else and just thinks of it as No Biggie
so while there tryna do the good there taking advantage of Mil etc