MIL strikes again

[againanothernamechange]

DP and I have a 10 month old, we live a 40 min drive from his dads house, we have an agreement in place that once a month for childcare reasons his dad and step mum will have GC. we have to drop GC off, he stays overnight and then GP's will drop him back home after work the following day. I admit, this month we've had to ask them to have him on a couple more occasions than usual because of mine the DP's work.

GC is due to go today, he's been off colour all week, and is now full of cold but MIL (its easier to call her that) is questioning if he's well enough for the visit! she says that she had planned for her own DD's child to be there 'for quality time apparently!!' (theres a 6 month difference), but if our son is poorly, she will have to cancel this as its not fair to pass any germs on!!!

I simply can't take time off work, nor can my DP and its just a cold!

AIBU by sending GC or YANBU.. its just a cold and she's being precious about the other GC

Exactly so.

OP is very unreasonable to send germs to her in laws who have every right not to want to be ill themselves and not to want the little cousin to also be ill!

I wondered this also.

I'm aware that some GPs recommend early weaning in some instances, but it's against general guidance. If a family member told me they were planning to wean at 4 months I would probably enquire (I've seen far too many small babies being spoonfed sachet food whilst they're barely holding themselves up in a pram)...

"i won't be judged on how i decide to feed my baby nor will i be judged on where my baby sleeps" This part of your last comment made me laugh out loud. What did you think would happen when you came onto Mumsnet whining about your MIL to whom you send your sick child for free childcare?

This!

OP has already said "I admit, this month we've had to ask them to have him on a couple more occasions than usual because of mine the DP's work." GM has gone above and beyond. Its reasonable she wants to see other DGC and doesn't want to make the other child poorly.

Parents aren't entitled to free childcare. OP could ask her own parents or one parent should take emergency leave

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Jesus wept. The absolute audacity.

Also, you absolutely WILL be judged. You can choose to ignore the comments, but believe you me, we are all heavily judging your selfishness and poor parenting.
100%

You think MIL is BU because she doesn’t want her, her husband and the other children to catch colds ?

It may just be a cold to you but it can affect older people a lot more. I don’t go to see my mom and dad when me or my children have a cold. Definitely look for alternative childcare if it’s an issue.

Another pile on over nothing. Drama, insults and hyperbole.

Your child is ill. No one else is required to deal with the germs, least not cause another child to be poorly too. I’ve never heard someone behave in such an entitled fashion - what an attitude! Take responsibility and take time off. What do you think parents do when (paid) nurseries can’t have their sick children?

If your child is unwell you take time off work and care for them. They are your child, it seems like work is more important tbh

You really are a piece of work. Your poor MIL having to deal with you. You have the utter cheek to be annoyed your MIL dared to say she would rather your unwell child didn’t come, that in fact she had other plans. Your child, your problem. Unbelievable, I’ve read some stuff on here, but this takes the cake!

Your child is full of cold if MIL doesn't want to look after him that's very much ok. You and his dad need to step up.

I couldn't help but notice that after the majority of us voted YWBU , you returned and threw in other supposedly unreasonable things your MIL has said/done .

Totally irrelevant and quite nasty of you .

As someone who’s been ill every single time we’ve provided childcare, I’m team Mil all the way.

Just this!

I was about to say the same, that you will be judged. Take it or leave it. I would bloody love to hear MILs side to this story. I wonder if SHE feels judged by the OP. What a shame she has to put up with a shitty DIL just to have a relationship with her GC and her son. I feel sad for her.

So so ungrateful and entitled. With the nerve to say “MIL strikes again”…as if to say she’s not doing you massive favours. If only she knew how you really felt about her. No good deed…

This! What an extraordinary level of entitlement!

She's right about both issues. I'm surprised you haven't followed guidance on this.

"Send" him? You mean impose on in laws for more free childcare when they're unhappy about taking an unwell child?

Wow. Late to the thread, but wow.

I look after my grandchildren v regularly; that's my choice, I offered, and I don't want my DD to struggle for childcare as I did when she was little

But when DD and DGD were both poorly I caught their bugs and being older, it turned into pneumonia. I was ill for months and it's taken me nearly a year to fully recover. And in not even a chesty person normally!

I don't blame the MIL in the slightest for her hesitancy here. OP, you'll not get the childcare if she's too poorly to look after your DS, having caught something from him.

I started him on solids at 4 months, and she questioned this, We've put him in his own room, she's questioned this!

Right so you are entitled and also a know it all happy to disregard accepted health care advice when it comes to the health and safety of your baby....

‘MIL strikes again?’ I’m not a MIL but this has really pissed me off. The OP is an ungrateful brat.

Know EXACTLY how that feels 🙄

IANAMIL but YABVVU

True but when you give birth to an almost 11 pounder and they are relentlessly hungry you are often advised to wean early. Also a recommendation for earlier solids is fine if you baby is formula fed as the gut flora is different to those of breastfed babies. I didn’t know this myself until recently when a scientist friend told me.