Page 15 | MIL strikes again

Mayana1 · 12/10/2024 13:27

JournalistEmily · 12/10/2024 07:20

My kid has a cold all bloody winter - he doesnt feel ill his nose just runs and he coughs. If the arrangement was to care for your child she should cancel the other one, not yours! Can’t believe so many ppl think youre unreasonable here! However they are right in saying MIL can do what she likes as she isnt paid & is doing you a favour!

Read whole. The update was, she actually cancelled the other child and took hers overnight.
And you know what - this child is not even her GC. She is a step-mom-in law. So she cancelled her daughter's child, her real GC, to accommodate the one she is not even related to. And OP dares to complain about her! When she is clearly showing that she loves her son, although not even her GC. You got now that she is absolutely YABU.

Letskeepcalm · 12/10/2024 13:41

I'm keeping my eye out for a
'DIL strikes again!' post ,
complaining about a DIL who is completely ungrateful for the help she's given!

BustyLaRoux · 12/10/2024 13:45

Doubt OP will be back. Very unlikely to realise the error of her ways despite overwhelmingly being told how dreadful and unreasonable she is being. People like that never take advice though. Just want to be told how right they are!

ZoeCM · 12/10/2024 15:14

Danioyellow · 10/10/2024 13:54

Dear lord your whole post smacks of entitlement. ‘They live 40 mins away and WE HAVE TO DROP HIM OFF! The actual audacity of complaining that you have to bring your son to your free childcare instead of them also providing lifts. And we’ve HAD to ask for them to have him more this month, you abso-fucking-lutely didn’t! You could have found suitable childcare like the rest of us, instead of putting even more onto your already helpful in-laws. And btw you sound clueless with your baby weaning which could permanently fuck up your child’s digestive system, and the putting in their own room at a time when they’re susceptible for cot death, so no wonder your mil tried to look out for her grandchild, she clearly cares about his welfare more than you do!

I hadn't noticed the "we have to drop him off" part. It really is the icing on the entitlement cake.

ZoeCM · 12/10/2024 15:17

I don't understand the part about needing to put your son on solids at four months because you "couldn't fill him up". Surely it would have made more sense just to give him more milk?

Champers66 · 12/10/2024 17:57

againanothernamechange · 10/10/2024 12:53

DP and I have a 10 month old, we live a 40 min drive from his dads house, we have an agreement in place that once a month for childcare reasons his dad and step mum will have GC. we have to drop GC off, he stays overnight and then GP's will drop him back home after work the following day. I admit, this month we've had to ask them to have him on a couple more occasions than usual because of mine the DP's work.

GC is due to go today, he's been off colour all week, and is now full of cold but MIL (its easier to call her that) is questioning if he's well enough for the visit! she says that she had planned for her own DD's child to be there 'for quality time apparently!!' (theres a 6 month difference), but if our son is poorly, she will have to cancel this as its not fair to pass any germs on!!!

I simply can't take time off work, nor can my DP and its just a cold!

AIBU by sending GC or YANBU.. its just a cold and she's being precious about the other GC

Can’t believe you even have to ask this question. Yes YABU!!! And quite selfish. Plus- if your baby is poorly shouldn’t you want to be with them? Hmm odd

Jackanorystory1 · 12/10/2024 18:05

againanothernamechange · 10/10/2024 12:53

DP and I have a 10 month old, we live a 40 min drive from his dads house, we have an agreement in place that once a month for childcare reasons his dad and step mum will have GC. we have to drop GC off, he stays overnight and then GP's will drop him back home after work the following day. I admit, this month we've had to ask them to have him on a couple more occasions than usual because of mine the DP's work.

GC is due to go today, he's been off colour all week, and is now full of cold but MIL (its easier to call her that) is questioning if he's well enough for the visit! she says that she had planned for her own DD's child to be there 'for quality time apparently!!' (theres a 6 month difference), but if our son is poorly, she will have to cancel this as its not fair to pass any germs on!!!

I simply can't take time off work, nor can my DP and its just a cold!

AIBU by sending GC or YANBU.. its just a cold and she's being precious about the other GC

When my Child came along I went part time so I could look after him. He's 9 and my mum had him for the 1st time overnight recently.
YABU the GP don't want a cold and neither does anyone else.
When you have a child it's your responsibility no one else's.
As for the weaning you probably know when your child is ready. I personally don't agree with him being in his own room so young but that's my opinion. Again he's your child.

Tiedyesquad · 12/10/2024 19:20

ZoeCM · 12/10/2024 15:17

I don't understand the part about needing to put your son on solids at four months because you "couldn't fill him up". Surely it would have made more sense just to give him more milk?

It'll be because she didn't want the baby to wake up in the night. At 4 months.

Ginburee · 12/10/2024 20:08

That makes it even more entitled.
I would be mortified if I was ever this rude to my in laws.

dragonfliesandbees · 12/10/2024 20:09

TenderChicken · 12/10/2024 12:43

Im going to go against the grain here and say FIL's wife is being unreasonable.

It's normal to send a child with a cold to nursery, otherwise they'd never be there! So why not grandparents? It is a bit frustrating of them to cancel on you for this reason.

I wonder if there is prioritisation of the baby MIL is actually related to, but that's just a suspicion on my part.

Unfortunately not much you can do, whether or not they are being unreasonable, as they are doing you a favour at the end of the day.

What are you talking about? All the MIL did was ask whether the baby was well enough to come and say that she would need to cancel seeing the other grandchild so as not to risk making them ill too. She didn’t cancel on OP and in fact did take poorly baby overnight. How on earth was she unreasonable??!

Grammarnut · 12/10/2024 21:04

dragonfliesandbees · 10/10/2024 18:51

How interesting. I was surprised when my mum told me she waited until 6 months as I did think that advice was more recent. We discussed it when my now 9 year old was a baby. My mum had one of those baby books to record my first year and there’s a photo of me trying food for the first time at 6 months. That was in 1981 in Yorkshire. I wonder why the advice she was given was different from the norm. Strange.

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Yorkshire. Nuff said. God's own country and they do things differently there.

Yalta · 13/10/2024 09:23

pollymere · 11/10/2024 18:32

I voted not unreasonable. I think if it's just a cold, the other child will be exposed to it elsewhere anyway. However if yours is really out of sorts then they need one of you, not your MIL.

Just a cold can mean 6 weeks in bed struggling to breathe and wondering if they will survive to some people.

I wish people would understand that not all of us can shrug off just a cold in a few days

To me “just a cold” will be the one thing that will kill me. I have no protection for my lungs and every time I get a cold I get a chest infection and the older I get and the more chest infections I get I can feel them getting worse

So if you have “just a cold”

STAY IN AND STOP INFECTING OTHER PEOPLE

pollymere · 13/10/2024 10:38

Yalta · 13/10/2024 09:23

Just a cold can mean 6 weeks in bed struggling to breathe and wondering if they will survive to some people.

I wish people would understand that not all of us can shrug off just a cold in a few days

To me “just a cold” will be the one thing that will kill me. I have no protection for my lungs and every time I get a cold I get a chest infection and the older I get and the more chest infections I get I can feel them getting worse

So if you have “just a cold”

STAY IN AND STOP INFECTING OTHER PEOPLE

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MIL is in good health. Cousin is child in good health. Yes, a cold could kill me but unfortunately I'm exposed to the cold virus every time I step outside the house.

It's useful for small children to be exposed to colds so they don't spend their time at school or nursery off with every germ going. In the same way that every flu jab you get means that if you get flu, it won't kill you.

Farmwifefarmlife · 13/10/2024 10:58

againanothernamechange · 10/10/2024 13:36

she has said that if we are really stuck, she will re-organise the play date with the other GC.

i just feel constantly judged by her! every decision i make about my baby and she has an opinion. I started him on solids at 4 months, and she questioned this, We've put him in his own room, she's questioned this!

I’d be greatful for her help rather than moaning! You could pay for childcare like most people!

Yalta · 13/10/2024 11:00

I'm exposed to the cold virus every time I step outside the house

Unless you live somewhere where everyone has a permanent cold then you are not exposed to the virus everyday you step out of your house.

It is only when you come into contact with someone who is close enough to be breathing on you or someone who is coughing or sneezing around you do you become infected.

Tourmalines · 13/10/2024 11:28

Ops probably changed her username again and put up a post, as someone else, on her side. 😂

TheRoseWriter · 13/10/2024 12:35

pollymere · 13/10/2024 10:38

MIL is in good health. Cousin is child in good health. Yes, a cold could kill me but unfortunately I'm exposed to the cold virus every time I step outside the house.

It's useful for small children to be exposed to colds so they don't spend their time at school or nursery off with every germ going. In the same way that every flu jab you get means that if you get flu, it won't kill you.

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You are assuming MIL and other child are in good health. Even if they are who has the right to expose them to ill health. Yes, it is good for children to be exposed to the outside world where they can build immunization that will help protect them as they go, does not mean you get to purposely make someone ill so your life can be a little easier.
The flu jab is to LESSEN the chances of the flu being harmful and causing death it is not a complete preventative so stop thinking you get to be this flippant with other people's health. Especially the elderly, the young and the immuno compromised. Again, the level of entitlement is staggering and disgusting.

SpudleyLass · 13/10/2024 13:16

againanothernamechange · 11/10/2024 14:13

just an update... he went to GP's house, he slept well and there was no need for calpol or anything else.. regular updates and he seems happy enough and he will be back home later this evening. i won't be judged on how i decide to feed my baby nor will i be judged on where my baby sleeps but i do take onboard that if he's ill in the future, i need to be a bit more assertive with my work!

I damn well hope she didn't cancel her own grandchild for yours.

lockdownbabyx · 13/10/2024 14:21

againanothernamechange · 10/10/2024 13:36

she has said that if we are really stuck, she will re-organise the play date with the other GC.

i just feel constantly judged by her! every decision i make about my baby and she has an opinion. I started him on solids at 4 months, and she questioned this, We've put him in his own room, she's questioned this!

As she should, 4 months is far too early

Botanybaby · 13/10/2024 18:45

Your kid is ill

You have to take parental leave unfortunately you can't just bin a poorly baby off and expect everyone else to get poorly coz you can't be arsed been off work

Manthide · 13/10/2024 18:47

namechangeforobviousreasons24 · 11/10/2024 06:40

Are you a troll?

Weaning and having baby in own room is not recommended unt six months, especially not having in own room as can prevent SIDS being in with you so she has a point to be worried.

You should be at home with your child if he's sick don't have children if you don't care when they are unwell ffs

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I was surprised about not putting baby in own room and having to be in the same room for sleeps but dd1 had her first baby this year and she's waiting until 6 months. Her dh has actually circled the date! I have 4dc and even with my eldest two, both in their 30s I was advised not to wean until 6 months.

BIossomtoes · 13/10/2024 18:47

lockdownbabyx · 13/10/2024 14:21

As she should, 4 months is far too early

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It was pretty much standard when most of you were babies. You lived.

Crikeyalmighty · 13/10/2024 18:50

@YourMommaWasASnowblower I agree

Noglitterallowed · 13/10/2024 18:52

Wow wow wow. You had a child therefore you are essentially responsible and need to thank yourself lucky you have any help at all. Of course no one should be intentionally passing on germs to other people .Of course you or your partner couid take time off- you just don’t want to as it’s not convenient for you.

Then there is the bit about weaning. She judged you yes and rightly so- unless specifically advised by a pedestrian it’s a no- take it from someone who now has intolerances and stomach issues due to early weaning , as does my sibling. They were a hungry baby or we could not fill them up etc isn’t a reason. And anyone that tells you oh my kid is fine has survivors biased.

TicklishMintDuck · 13/10/2024 18:54

If your child is unwell, you need to stay off work to take care of them yourself; you knew this when you chose to have a child. Why do some people have children and expect other people to take care of them? It’s a choice. No way would I send a poorly child to share their germs with grandparents.