To not like being called by forename by kids

[BreakingDad77]

I don't know but somehow it feels odd when sons friends year 6 age range calling me by my forename. I haven't said anything but part of me feels I would prefer Mr surname or "sons name - dad".

My cousin (70) still calls my mother (87) “Aunty Firstname”. 😊

That's not the case in many Asian and African cultures. It's a very western view of the world.

My children's friends have always called me Roses.
Their teachers called me Mrs Hellebores unless they introduced themselves as Jane or Fred when I invited them to call me Roses. (The more we paid, the less formal it became)
My parents were first name to my friends as were most of my friends' parents to me.
An aunt or uncle are the sibling of a child's parents - not their mother's chum.
My mother in law is Joan, she did not give birth to me and is not my mother.

If another adult wishes me to address then with their title and last name they may not assume to use my first name. It is discourteous. Usually a practice adopted by medics. It is reductive.

@BreakingDad77 you are being ridiculous and I am old and formal in MNet terms 64 and my mother is 88!

Yes well ditto our school but then there are more ways to skin a cat …

I don't think calling an adult by their actual given name means they have no respect!!

Fuck me, I've always called my bosses by their first name too, and I've been working a long time!! Uni lecturers too, Sunday school teachers, music tutors, even our last vicar!!

Come out of the dark ages!

Well, tbf, we are in the West. I accept that in other cultures Uncle/Auntie are more generic terms of address, but here in the UK they are not, and they are only for your actual Uncle/Aunt (obviously immigrant families etc can do what they want!). Personally I would not let my children call anyone Uncle/Aunt if they were not an Uncle/Aunt. It's confusing, and inappropriate.

Yes, unless you are actually also the visiting child's teacher or likely to become their teacher (it happened in our house) then it's a bit stuffy:
It was safer for the kids' friends to call DH "Mr MacGregor" when they came round because he was a teacher at their school, but once they were past that age wthey just used our given names.
Are you going to your insist on your future D-i-L also calling you "Mr Brown"?

Absolutely, a six year old calling you Angela is going to translate into an adult whose boss struggles with their ‘insubordination and insolence’. Snort. What kind of workplace are you thinking of? The SAS? I’m 52 years old, work in a professional role, and have literally never had a working environment where a ‘boss’ expected subordination.

Funny I have a friend who's been married over 25 years and still calls her ILs Mr and Mrs! I think it's very strange!

The proper way to address a child is by his or her first name.

Sure, have them call you Mr BreakingDad... and you call them Master/Miss Surname in return.

If that feels silly, because we are not in fact in the 1850s... stick to first names eh?

Obviously do what you want but it's not confusing.

Just ask them to address you how you like.

There's nothing wrong with some formality and showing a bit of respect to elders.

Bruh. 🤣

When I’m speaking of people other than myself I say “first name” since not everyone is Christian.
I can refer to my own name as my ‘Christian name’ with confidence, though 😊

I insist upon Lady Crazycat.

I'm 51 but I remember my mum telling me to use Mr / Mrs x when I was at a friend's house when I was 10.

It even felt odd and too formal back then and that was 40 years ago. I did do it a couple of times and the parents laughed (kindly) and thought I was mad.

Things have moved on.

I’m living in the West and this is also my culture. I wouldn’t appropriate another culture in my use of language.

@PaperGloves

It was year 6 age range not 6 years old. Does that make a difference?

Everyone should be respected but the way we respect people changes.

I wouldn’t take a six month baby and make sure it was seated at table with a wine full glass; I’d make sure the baby had a nice, comfortable place to nap at the right temperature or it’s carer had a comfortable chair to nurse it. That isn’t disrespect to the baby.

Equally children have different needs from adults. It’s an important part of preparing them for the world that they learn to understand that the adults in their life have more wisdom about how they should behave and other things in their best interests. Using a surname ( or a family name like Mum or Granny) reinforces that.

Most adults would also ensure children and babies made it first into a lifeboat ahead of older people out of respect for their youth. It’s a recognition that we are at different stages of life and have different needs and ways of being respected

Why?

It's the norm in many cultures outside of the Western world.

Yes I didn't say it was your culture. Just that it is the case in some cultures. I don't think you need to worry that it's cultural appropriation either. No one's going to cancel you for calling your mum's friend "aunty" 🤣🤣

Yes. On a bigger world view it really isn’t unusual.

Seriously weird. It's not the 1950's and it's your name.

Mumsnet is baffling.