To not like being called by forename by kids

[BreakingDad77]

I don't know but somehow it feels odd when sons friends year 6 age range calling me by my forename. I haven't said anything but part of me feels I would prefer Mr surname or "sons name - dad".

My mother lived with her FIL from the day she and my dad returned from the honeymoon until his death (just over 20 years) and addressed him as Mr Surname every single day. And yes, it was a depressing indication of precisely where she stood in that household hierarchy where the children were viewed as ‘a woman’s thing’, and grouped with her at the bottom.

The Mr and Mrs / Ms thing used to be the right way but now can be outdated unless in very formal situations. I think first names allow barriers such as status / age/ power to be removed and create a warmer environment in informal relationships. Unclench.

OP where art thou?

When I was at school all teachers were addressed as Mr/ Mrs/ Dr. They also wore gowns and we stood up whenever an adult entered the room.
The school was highly academic.

Do you insult everyone with whom you disagree? Does everyone have to conform to your view of the world?

Well yes,but Mumsnet is a British site and the predominant culture is western. If the OP had said that in his culture it’s the norm to address people as aunty/uncle so finds it rude in the west, that’s fair enough, but it was a general question. If someone started a post to say is Yorkshire pudding ok with any other meats apart from beef, there would be a lively debate-but a bit odd if someone threw in ‘but we eat noodles with everything in Asia’.

Surely being addressed by your name is the proper way to be addressed........in these circumstances at least.

Wouldn't bother me, my son's friends always addresses be by my name.

It really isn't "very odd," it's a personal preference for some people.

Also, sure respect is 2 way? So don't call the children miss X or master Y? Or is respect only one way in an adult/child interaction?

Yep in my home country we not only call friends aunty and uncle, but youngers also sometimes called little brother, little sister as a mark of respect.

This summer visiting our home country, the airport immigration officer referred to my DS as little brother, as in where is little brother's passport and boarding pass. I found this so nice and polite compared to the grunts you get at Heathrow.

My DH's nephews sometimes call me aunty 'name'. I find it a bit odd now they're in their 30s and in professional jobs!

I have asked them to use my name but they often forget. Their mum is quite status conscious though.

Get a fucking grip

First name only for me. Thank you. I would not feel any more respected if they called me Ms farfrom. It would sound ridiculous to me. Only doctors and lawyers call me that

That's nice you are clear on your world view.
British site for British people eh?😉

I don't like it either, I also don't like calling teachers by their first name.

Most call me 'childs' mum and I like that. But I wouldn't want to be Mrs Friends and I don't mind Caterpillar, just don't prefer it

Teaching in a military school can make things interesting, not only were you their teacher but you were also their friends' parent, their parents' friend socially and so on. From a young age our two were told by OH's colleagues that it was Miss in school then first name out of school.
When they were just starting school they had to learn to call people Mr, Miss etc in school and a friend's daughter insisted on calling her Daddy Mr at home too, even when he was doing the bath!

What, it's baffling to you that people can hold differing opinions and preferences? Now I'm baffled!

My school was like this too. I had a happy time there. I cannot begin to envisage what one teacher in particular would have done had I called her by her first name or flung my arms round her.

But what she did do was inspire in me a love of learning. She also instilled in me a sense of self belief. I was very moved when I came out my university graduation ceremony and she was there with a tiny bouquet of flowers for me. Still didn’t hug her - and still called her Dr!

I’m not saying calling adults or even teachers by their first name doesn’t mean they can’t do any of these things; but I don’t feel that having that formal relationship with her was in any way harmful to me.

"...and I used to assume it was a power play"

I can't speak for others but I don't think that's the case.

For example, it really annoys me when a person I don't know uses the shortened version of my first name (at work, I generally use my full name, think of maybe something like Nicola rather than Nicky)

If I went into a bank and someone there started calling me by my shortened first name then that would annoy me.

I think a good approach was that taken when I went to a meeting at an organisation for the first time recently. One of the first things the person asked me was how do I prefer to be addressed, as Mrs X or [full first name] or something else.

They are in many parts of the UK. It is normal where I grew up in NW England.

I get "daughters name"'s mum
Which is ok, I'd rather have Daisy
Defo not mrs "x"

“Are you going to your insist on your future D-i-L also calling you "Mr Brown"?

Family do not need to use Mr/Mrs etc.

To be honest. As long as it’s not oi fatty or such the children’s friends can call be what they want.

Can’t really think of times when they actually need to call me a name though. Not sure if they even know my name to be honest.

I loathe titles.

I PARTICULARLY hate them when some people get them and others don’t - Lord Bloggs and Sarah.

Either everyone gets a title or nobody does.

Lol

I was an 80s and taught to address as Mr or Mrs unless they said call me .......