To not like being called by forename by kids

[BreakingDad77]

I don't know but somehow it feels odd when sons friends year 6 age range calling me by my forename. I haven't said anything but part of me feels I would prefer Mr surname or "sons name - dad".

I think this is cultural and regional. Where I live children often use the term Uncle or Auntie when addressing people like older neighbours, friends of the family.

I get <Child'sname> Mum. (I used to work in their nursery building), but worse, I get "Bruh" I guess I'll learn to live with it. (I called all the adults who were friend's with my parents "Uncle" or "Aunty", tImes change.)

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/LP6rUs9INgY

That's outdated bollocks.

It's your given name - why wouldn't you just use it?!

Why do you need to be friends with someone to use their first name?

Also, sure respect is 2 way? So don't call the children miss X or master Y? Or is respect only one way in an adult/child interaction?

My biggest bug is when clients insist on calling me by my first name, but want to be addressed by me more formally. I find it rude.

I’d have hated Mrs Danvers. Even worse would be Auntie Joan. I even hate people in formal situations calling me Mrs. If my dh had told the dc friends to call him Mr Danvers, I’d spit out my tea.

I was never allowed to call adults by their first name as an child. All of my friends when we were teenagers never called my mother or father by their first name even though they knew what their names were. When we were being cheeky we would call each others parents mum or dad. I think when and where you were brought up has something to do with it. Even my husband when he met my mother called her mrs … and now he calls her mum. I don’t believe he has ever referred to her by her first name.

I wouldn’t want to be called “Uncle / Auntie Firstname” unless by my actual nephews and nieces. I think that’s really weird.

I don't know what year 6 is but once kids are 11/12 I really don't mind being called by my first name.

I still call friends' parents Mr.... or Mrs... and I'm in my 50s! I'm with you on this, OP.

I mean from an authority reason for calling the teachers Mr or Mrs doesn’t improve the outcomes either. So it’s just silly reason so make them call you Mr soandso because it changes nothing.

Maybe I'm too preogressive but I think even calling teachers 'Mr X' or 'Mrs Y' has had it's day - your child's friends is a whole other level!

Why is being called by your Christian name not being properly addressed?

Respect for elders is fundamental to using Mr / Mrs. Calling a child by his or her first name is, however, not disrespectful, since they are not your elder!

Those who are familiar with other languages (eg German) don’t need this explained to them.

Whaaat? Id hate being called 'DC Mum' in person, why on earth would you prefer that over your actual name?! 😱

I used to work in a bank and we were told to address people informally, occasionally you'd get (imo) a pompous old person insisting on being called Mr/Mrs... xxx and I used to assume it was a power play, so y(may not)bu for feeling it but I don't think it will go down well to insist on it

Always called my friends' parents Mr/ Mrs growing up when first meeting them but most of them said "call me Sally" or whatever.

The friends of my parents were always Uncle & Auntie XYZ. I still struggle not to say Uncle Nick/Auntie Janet anymore even though I'm definitely an adult!!

It’s not a proper form of address for a child speaking to an elder, unless within a family - in which case a familial name will be used, eg Mum, Dad, Uncle Firstname, Aunty Firstname.

I used to not call my friends' parents anything at all because Mr/Mrs felt weird and so did using their Christian name.

Only one of my son's friends has ever called me anything, he called me Mrs SonsSurname, and I said "Ms Moth actually!" and since then he hasn't called me anything at all

I can’t stand being called anything other than my first name! We are all human beings and deserve the same basic level of respect regardless of age. I don’t feel the need to put children in their place in that way.

This is a very strange mindset. You clearly perceive children and adults as completely separate categories and believe you should automatically be treated with a formal standard of deference, simply because you are an adult.

They are your child's friends, you are not their parent, their teacher or any other type of authority figure. You have the right to set rules if they are in your home, beyond that, they don't have to treat you any differently to how they treat any other human.

As your child gets older, he will come to value his friends more than you. Becoming the least approachable parent in the friendship group won't go well for you.

Wow

@BreakingDad77 I agree with you 100%. Children these days appear to view adults as equal in status to them, and as a consequence, they have no respect for anyone in a position of authority (or what used to be called their elders and betters) whatsoever.

Kids need to know that the adults ARE in charge as it happens, and over-familiarity with names has the opposite effect, and diminishes the adult's authority. It does young people no favours, particularly when they start work and their new boss is displeased with their staggering level of insolence and insubordination.

You should respect everyone. People aren't entitled to more/different respect because they are "elder".

Gadz - these geets hae nae respect nowadays Sir.

Parents' friends were (e.g.) Auntie Jane and Uncle Clive when I was growing up, as were older neighbours, but friends' parents were Liz and Geoff.

Sometimes my dc's friends will call me Ms Shrinks if they don't know my first name, but I'll always say 'no need for that, it's Little'.
I couldn't imagine being so (sorry) up myself as to actively want Ms Shrinks.