To not like being called by forename by kids

[BreakingDad77]

I don't know but somehow it feels odd when sons friends year 6 age range calling me by my forename. I haven't said anything but part of me feels I would prefer Mr surname or "sons name - dad".

Where did I say it was the kids who were confused?

I can't remember when I made the change. It's 20 years since my DC were actually children.

I was out somewhere with friends at 11, shopping or at the park or whatever, and another friend's parent arrived and started trying to parent me, I'd be quite disturbed to be frank.

Unless she's specifically made an agreement with their parents that she's taking the children somewhere, she isn't in loco parentis.

Yes!
I was brought up in 1970s and all my parents close pals were aunty /uncle... It was a surprise when I was older to discover I wasn't related to them!

I didn't allow mine to go out solo until they were at secondary.

Whatever you say. I disagree but it's not worth arguing with you because you're always right.

We dropped the Aunty/Uncle for non-related adults relatively young, but old enough that I remember being confused as to who was family and who wasn't. But there was one man we continued to call Uncle all through his life. He lived with my grandparents and I had always thought he was my Grandad's brother. It was only when he died (when I was in my 20s) that I discovered at his funeral that he didn't have our surname and in fact was unrelated. It came as quite a shock!

Sorry. Me not reading your post properly probably from just being told I’m old. I think I’m going to bed now. 🙄

Is this a serious question? If you don’t know that all ppl deserve respect then that’s just sad…
but respect to a 2 yo is not the same to an 82 yo, this is basic! The 2 yo gets respect because they deserve to be treated nicely as a person, the 82 yo also deserves respect because they are an elder.
i guess that’s why the world is so immoral, ppl just don’t get that respect to those older than us is important!

My youngest calls me by my name and I love it. He is a character and it’s just him all over to be that extra bit cheeky. My eldest son thinks it’s awful so he just calls me mum. My son’s friends call me ‘Clifford’s mum or Albert’s mum’. Formal would make me cringe to be honest.

With you OP i think its more respectful, but then it could be because im older, i still do it to friends parents, unless they tell me to use first name, although not many left now.

Using your name is properly addressing you? Strange you’d think otherwise.

OMG, all I can think of is Kevin and Perry, where Perry always calls Kevin's parents Mr and Mrs Patterson 🤣🤣. On a more serious note, I think it's extremely old fashioned for kids to call their friends parents Mr and Mrs..... And the same for calling your mum's friend aunty, like I had to in the 70s.

Yes, please, no thank you, Mrs Patterson

I wouldn't bother me, my grandchildren all call me nanny first name.

Spot on. Not unreasonable.

I think there are cultural norms to this too. My son's father is from an Asian culture where it would be wholly inappropriate to call an adult by first name so he grew up calling all my friends Auntie and Uncle, their children followed suit and called me Auntie. When he went to school the parents of Asian and African children were delighted by his "manners" and I was either Auntie or son's name's Mum. Now he is much older and some still call me Auntie while other's are just starting to use my first name.

Ah stop is this actually a joke! What century are you living in 🙈 Would you like to travel backwards when children should be seen and not heard??

Reminds me of this from the great Maya Angelou.

I always remember when I worked briefly in a nursing home about 30 years ago. A new and very elderly lady came in and her family made a point of telling us all that she was to be known as Mrs Jones.
As soon as they’d gone she said please call me Jane… everyone else calls me mother, granny or Mrs Jones. Nobody ever calls me by my name. I though it was very sad.

To be fair most people have friends to give their name a good airing, so I think I she was an unusual case.

My kids friends call me Becky. Because that's my name. If they started calling me Mrs Surname or so and so's mum I'd say "call me Becky"
Do you often behave as if it's 1950?

Is that because you want them to call you what you prefer to be called?

If so, what if someone else preferred not to be called by their first name? Do they not have that same choice?

What if the child said I feel more comfortable calling you your title. I don’t really know you all that well. Would you insist on Becky.

I love maya angelou but I disagree with her in some aspects of this. Many elders are not deserving of respect or honour from children, sometimes disrespecting elders IS respecting yourself especially when those elders are harmful. Many children are incredible with great points of view and things to say, I think this message kind of contributes to shutting children down when we should be helping them to stand up and speak so they can shape the world they're going to live in. In order for that to happen adults need to step aside and share the platform. Children need to learn that not all adults are wiser/ correct/ should be listened to. Just simply being a teacher or a parent or whatever position of power you sit in over a child does NOT automatically mean you are deserving of that child's respect. I want my ds to grow up knowing that he can judge adults the way he should judge children... on the basis of their actions and how they treat others. And that if someone in a position of authority or power asks something of him he's uncomfortable with, he still has the right to say no and go against them as strongly as he needs to.

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
― Maya Angelou

🙁

Get over yourself!!

Ask them to touch their forelock and call you sir!