To not want him to complain in restaurants?

[FirecrackerK]

My DP is really into his food, makes most meals at home and even thought about being a chef when he was younger. It's a hobby.

But I'd say 60% of the time when we're out for a meal, if the server asks 'how was your meal?' he doesnt give the obligatory response.

Instead he uses it as an opportunity to moan about the carrots of the gravy or whatever and say 'it could've been more X'. I feel really embarrassed when he does this as other diners are just quietly enjoying their meals!

He stopped for a while because he knew it bothered me but he's back at it again

But if he's complaining because things aren't exactly his personal taste? Eg gravy slightly too salty. That's a personal preference, very different from the gravy is inedible because it's far too salty.

Op, does he go into art galleries and declare 'I could do that!'

He doesn't sound very sophisticated and I would be embarrassed too.

In your opinion.
There's no alternative if it annoys you and you can't stop it and you need to ask others advice.

Who does he think he is Egon Ronay?

Dear god, man discovers he can cook, then obviously he's got to be better than everyone else, even the experts, it's amazing the amount of blokes who really believe they're top dog, egotistical pricks.

This would give me the full ick

It bothers you and he is still doing it. I'd stop going out with him.

He's showing off, and doing it at the expense of your comfort.

Tell him to pack it the fuck in, if he thinks he can do better, then he is welcome to try it at home.

In a posh restaurant, it tastes the way it does because the chef likes it that way, if he doesn't like it, the chef really couldn't give a fuck, but will think he is a twat.

(If he were genuinely complaining about things being burnt or cold or bones in things that shouldn't have bones in... then yes thats fair enough, but the 'oh I think this is underseasoned/this needed less salt/this flavour doesn't go with that flavour' is performative wank of the highest order.)

If everyone gives the obligatory response of it was lovely thank you then how are restaurants meant to know anything was wrong?

Tell him it’s not very relaxing or enjoyable when he behaves like this on a night out and if he can’t refrain then perhaps you shouldn’t dine out together anymore.

I stopped going out with a friend of mine who complained about every single thing when we went out for a meal. To the point of sending things back, asking for refunds. I found it very embarrassing.

Some members of my family can’t go for a meal without complaining about something and it makes me cringe eating out with them. But then I’m a serial conformist, people pleaser and non complainer unless something is awful. I’m sure there is a happy medium in there somewhere…..
Yanbu.

He's criticising Michelin starred restaurants 😂

I'd have to say something - he's making himself (and you in the process) look ridiculous.

I'd genuinely be embarrassed.

My ex-husband is a covert narcissist, he is a carpenter/joiner.

Whilst speaking to my spinal surgeon about how he was going to do the operation, my ex genuinely said 'oh so the same as putting plasterboard fixings in, similar to what I do' - I was absolutely mortified AND he genuinely believed he could perform major spinal surgery 🤣.

Some people are deluded.

Tell your husband, once he's earnt his own Michelin star THEN he can critique.

Is it a way of him signalling to the server that he REALLY knows what he's talking about? Is it important to him to demonstrate his foodie-ness?

personally id just leave him too it, as the chances are its unlikely the server will relay to the chef and even then your Dh could be correct about the food etc @FirecrackerK

I would find that super embarrassing.

Eating out isn't just about the food.

OMG at the carpenter thinking he could be a spinal surgeon!

As the T shirt says "May you have the confidence of a mediocre white man"

Ask him to do the positive feedback sandwich, the carrots were fabulous but I wasn't keen on the cabbage that way, I really loved the berries on that desert though.

It just comes across better

If he sends food back and is rude about it, it may come back 'modified'.

I think there is an obligatory ‘lovely’ response unless it’s bad enough to send back. I would be cringing too. I’ve eaten in an awful lot of restaurants - Michelin and otherwise - in my pretty long life & I’ve had many thoughts on what I’ve been served. I share them with my dining companion … but no chef wants a diners negative critique of their offering. Taste is subjective. I’d refuse to dine with my DH if he continually did this …

Why is it obligatory to say a meal is lovely if it's not?

I'm dying to know what "direct" culture your DH is from where it's acceptable to be a gourmet-bore-twat in a restaurant!

Because if it really isn’t, you send it back. If one’s eaten a meal, I don’t believe it’s correct to then begin to criticise it if it wasn’t to one’s taste. I think it’s bad form. But we don’t have to agree …

She also gets her food spat in. Trust me on that. I have a friend who is an INCREDIBLE snob, rude to wait staff etc. posh boy with no manners for anyone hhe sees as beneath him.

As someone who worked in restaurants and kitchens for years I have warned him about the fact his steak might .dropped' on the floor etc. he doesn't believe, but when you put up with this sht@t for years from people behaving like this - it's happens... a lot...

What’s the point of them asking you how’s the food if they just want you to say fine? Don’t they want to know what you think?