To not want him to complain in restaurants?

[FirecrackerK]

My DP is really into his food, makes most meals at home and even thought about being a chef when he was younger. It's a hobby.

But I'd say 60% of the time when we're out for a meal, if the server asks 'how was your meal?' he doesnt give the obligatory response.

Instead he uses it as an opportunity to moan about the carrots of the gravy or whatever and say 'it could've been more X'. I feel really embarrassed when he does this as other diners are just quietly enjoying their meals!

He stopped for a while because he knew it bothered me but he's back at it again

I don't see a problem here either. He is simply stating his opinion and nowhere in her post does she say he says it in a rude manner or shouts at them. Personally think OP is being unreasonable to want him to never give his opinion

Nice one!

I think you’re being terribly British about this.

If someone asks you what you think of the meal it is not unreasonable to give an honest response. They shouldn’t ask the question if they don’t want the answer.

In my experience, ask a Frenchman what he thinks about a meal and you will get a lot of feedback in response!

I don’t think it’s cringe, I think it can be cultural, and you are being uptight to object. I don’t think he’s doing anything wrong.

Goodness me, you’ve got some anger issues and
very poor
Reading comprehension skills.
Racist too assuming any kitchen staff must be a Spanish speaker.

Back to therapy & and school for you. C U Next Tuesday.

It surely depends on the restaurant! Would you really tell Raymond Blanc or Simon Rogon your DP can do it better? (As suggested several pages ago!). If it’s a shepherds pie at the pub that could be true. If you are dining at L’Enclume, probably not.

We try and go to top notch restaurants less frequently and cut others out altogether. Then paying more gets us the best. I have never been able to fault a top restaurant.

Nope. This one is on you @Zooks. Or rather your rude DH. But you seem pretty rude yourself tbf. No school or therapy can help you with that.

I think you need to look at your reading comprehension skills. She didn't say that most kitchen staff would be a Spanish speaker. What she actually said is if YOUR husband came wading into her kitchen to offer some unsolicited advice then she would pretend to only speak Spanish so she didn't have to converse with him. Totally different to your interpretation.

And it would be See you next Wednesday, not Tuesday. As it’s Wednesday today and I assume it would be see you same time next week.

I don’t think it’s cringe, I think it can be cultural, and you are being uptight to object.

So if the OP's DH is in the UK and failing to follow UK customs that's okay because it is cultural but if the OP would prefer her DH to fall in line with local customs that is uptight?

I really wouldn't eat out with someone who was critiquing food when asked "is everything okay?" in a restaurant. Too embarrassing and it would spoil my enjoyment. But then I'm a fan of the custom of politely lying to keep things cheery in these situations.

So by telling a chef how he can "improve" a recipe is just him being allowed an opinion. Aye, right so does that give him the right to give his opinion to a brain surgeon about how he is operating on patient? Or maybe telling firefighters they are putting out the fire wrongly..

@JemimaTiggywinkles We have had atrocious food when out with friends. I tend to want to keep the peace, so we keep quiet but we don’t go back! In a high quality restaurant, we’ve never had a bad meal.

We also have friends who pick food apart to put on one side ingedisnts they don’t like. I just hate it! DH and me tend to be busy and only do light lunches now! Except the weekend now looming. High blood pressure guaranteed. The won’t pay but expect Michelin food group! Or their own menu! It’s not relaxing.

My friend complained EVERY time we went out. Once she said to the waitress (young girl) that the chef must be a bellend cooking the dish like that. The manager came over and calmly asked what was wrong and then said "But you complain every time you come in here. Please don't swear at my waitresses"
Readers, she never went back 😂

Those aren’t particularly good comparisons. If I don’t like the haircut my hairdresser gives me, I tell her so even though she’s a professional; if I commission a piece of artwork and would like something amended when I see touchpoint stages, I say so even though they’re a professional; if the butcher tries to cut my steak differently to how I want it, I tell him so even though he’s a professional. In the same way, being a chef cooking for paying diners is a customer service position and customers are entitled to receive the product they want, even if the chef is a professional.

But you said people should say the food is good unless 'unless there is a big problem' with it. That sort of implied you thought people should keep schtum if there's a minor problem?

Actually yes, people do it all the time. If you feel you are knowledgeable, why not? It's only an opinion, no one will shoot you for it. People go to their GP ready with everything they think is wrong with them before the GP even says anything, does the GP not get annoyed sometimes? They do. But they're aware that's just how it is. Never heard of a GP blacklisting a patient over it.

You said it better than i did

but it doesn't sound like OPs partner is pointing out fundamental flaws and mistakes - way over seasoned, overcooked steak, cold food, dishes that simply don't taste good.... It sounds like he is showing off his 'superior' food knowledge and essentially showing off by suggesting improvements based his own personal preferences such as preferring gravy with herbs in, or carrots with a bit more crunch. Yes a chef is making food for paying customers who should enjoy it, but in a restaurant setting they are not a private and personal chef who are paid to cater to every whim and preference of the customer, they should simply cook the menu items correctly.

I hope he isn't doing this before you order anything else - dessert, coffee etc because you have no idea what the kitchen staff might do to your order.

Big difference between returning the wrong order, complaining of badly cooked food or service and acting like your giving a Michelin rating

Ha don't say that! Yes it's usually pre dessert.

Coming from a chef, he would most likely be the butt of a few giggles backstage. It basically makes him look like an ass. It's more common than you think though. I've had 'the salad was cold' before 😂

Embarrassing and I promise you that if and when the criticism is relayed to the Chef, he will call your DH not a very nice name! If your DH knew anything about catering, he’d know this.

I wouldn't be going out with someone who did that. Annoying and unnecessary.

I complained as soon as I took the first bite and confirmed that it definitely wasn’t octopus.
Sometimes it happens that the kitchen has run out of something and there are substitutions, so I understand. But customers should be informed when ordering. I didn’t pay for the dish - nor did I eat it, because it was not what I ordered.

Then that's fine the op says he waits until the end to offer his opinion on how to tweek the cooking not that it's wrong.