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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Things DP said to me while on holiday

641 replies

noodlewoo · 08/10/2024 07:01

Commented on what I was wearing to the airport. He said “you could have made more of an effort. “look at all these girls wearing trendy clothes. You need to start wearing clothes like that” I mean we literally had just got to the airport to go on holiday. Not a great start

Then when we got there he continued to point out what other women were wearing. “I like those gym leggings and sets” Don’t you wish you could wear stuff like that”

Continued to remind me that when we get home I need to get back on my diet. Maybe this is where I’m being sensitive because he said “for your sake not mine”

Then he asked if he thought people would put us together. Wasn’t sure what he meant so I asked him. He said well do you think people would think either of us were punching.

I sometimes have trouble with my back where it “goes” We were on a boat trip and when it was time to get off and stand up I said ouch and told him my back had a little twinge. He said “don’t start”

Then on the morning we were due to go home I came on my period and said I was “angin” for people who don’t know what that means it basically means disgusting

I’ve come home feeling a bit shitty and unloved but I’m not sure if I’m being over sensitive. Seems like he possibly doesn’t find me attractive which if that’s the case then fair enough but how would this make others feel?

OP posts:
Lifeisgoingtoplan · 09/10/2024 20:08

Agree with what everyone said above and also - he sounds like a massive creep for constantly looking at other women.

Hopefully you don’t need to spend your life with this man - he sounds awful and you deserve better. No one should be spoken to like that.

I’d mention to him next time if you do choose to stay with him that you found it so weird and creepy he was constantly looking at what other women were wearing and that if he loves you for you he shouldn’t care what you wear.

But - I’d never be with a person who feels it’s okay to talk to you like this. He’s speaking like you repulse him so get rid.

Scorchio84 · 09/10/2024 20:19

Absolute prize you have there, you're way more than that

RunAwayTurnAwayRunAwayTurnAway · 09/10/2024 20:22

Strawberries86 · 08/10/2024 07:02

He’s a massive bell end.

Nailed it. 🔨

Swanbeauty · 09/10/2024 20:24

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at OP's request.

anon666 · 09/10/2024 20:24

Oh gosh, he's totally out of order.

Drh94 · 09/10/2024 20:29

There is someone out there that would be so much more caring towards you. Please don’t allow him to destroy your self esteem. He has serious issues. It’s best for you to get rid of him not go on a diet. When you drop the weight of him you may want to gym and diet for your own self then but don’t ever let someone put you down. That is not love. Good luck girl x

Calliopespa · 09/10/2024 20:29

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at OP's request.

It’s something creeps do to justify cheating in their own mind.

littlemisspigg · 09/10/2024 20:30

ExtraOnions · 08/10/2024 07:24

What do you say back to him when he says there things ?

”dress smarter for the airport”
”I was following your lead”

”would people put us together”
”probably not, as I’m such a catch”

You don’t need to be passive in this.

Love this!!
Way to go Onions 👍👍👍
I did this , and the results were marvellous. All abuse stopped, the respect went right up, and he's very VERY careful what he says to me now.
Some bastards keep taking the piss if YOU LET them.
So , either LEAVE or GIVE IT BACK twice over.

Timebomb1 · 09/10/2024 20:31

noodlewoo · 08/10/2024 07:01

Commented on what I was wearing to the airport. He said “you could have made more of an effort. “look at all these girls wearing trendy clothes. You need to start wearing clothes like that” I mean we literally had just got to the airport to go on holiday. Not a great start

Then when we got there he continued to point out what other women were wearing. “I like those gym leggings and sets” Don’t you wish you could wear stuff like that”

Continued to remind me that when we get home I need to get back on my diet. Maybe this is where I’m being sensitive because he said “for your sake not mine”

Then he asked if he thought people would put us together. Wasn’t sure what he meant so I asked him. He said well do you think people would think either of us were punching.

I sometimes have trouble with my back where it “goes” We were on a boat trip and when it was time to get off and stand up I said ouch and told him my back had a little twinge. He said “don’t start”

Then on the morning we were due to go home I came on my period and said I was “angin” for people who don’t know what that means it basically means disgusting

I’ve come home feeling a bit shitty and unloved but I’m not sure if I’m being over sensitive. Seems like he possibly doesn’t find me attractive which if that’s the case then fair enough but how would this make others feel?

He is a c*t.

Calliopespa · 09/10/2024 20:33

Drh94 · 09/10/2024 20:29

There is someone out there that would be so much more caring towards you. Please don’t allow him to destroy your self esteem. He has serious issues. It’s best for you to get rid of him not go on a diet. When you drop the weight of him you may want to gym and diet for your own self then but don’t ever let someone put you down. That is not love. Good luck girl x

I completely second this post op.

I do understand the challenges you will face striking off on your own and I’ve even been known to defend op’s wanting to stay with a cheating ( but repentant) DH because I do get those challenges are very real. But your dp isn’t repentant. This is not a mistake he’s wanting to put behind him. He’s justifying treating you like crap and, I’d say, gearing up to mistreat you further. Get out, get safe, get free. And, as this poster says, good luck.

Calliopespa · 09/10/2024 20:34

littlemisspigg · 09/10/2024 20:30

Love this!!
Way to go Onions 👍👍👍
I did this , and the results were marvellous. All abuse stopped, the respect went right up, and he's very VERY careful what he says to me now.
Some bastards keep taking the piss if YOU LET them.
So , either LEAVE or GIVE IT BACK twice over.

Yeah but some ramp it up in response and even get violent. Just leave op. He’s not worth playing smart with. It’s not a life exchanging insults.

Bigsigh24 · 09/10/2024 20:35

He’s a twat and it’s abuse

Irishpoppy · 09/10/2024 20:36

Oh my god. You are not being ‘sensitive’ He is an abusive arsehole. Run girl.

Loub1987 · 09/10/2024 20:41

He sounds hideous, sorry you have to deal with it @noodlewoo .

Irishpoppy · 09/10/2024 20:43

noodlewoo · 08/10/2024 14:48

@speedmop He’s a good dad I can’t fault him for that and I get on with them really well

Also love I’m sorry but he’s not a good dad. Good father’s do not treat their children’s mothers like this.

Viviennemary · 09/10/2024 20:48

noodlewoo · 08/10/2024 07:01

Commented on what I was wearing to the airport. He said “you could have made more of an effort. “look at all these girls wearing trendy clothes. You need to start wearing clothes like that” I mean we literally had just got to the airport to go on holiday. Not a great start

Then when we got there he continued to point out what other women were wearing. “I like those gym leggings and sets” Don’t you wish you could wear stuff like that”

Continued to remind me that when we get home I need to get back on my diet. Maybe this is where I’m being sensitive because he said “for your sake not mine”

Then he asked if he thought people would put us together. Wasn’t sure what he meant so I asked him. He said well do you think people would think either of us were punching.

I sometimes have trouble with my back where it “goes” We were on a boat trip and when it was time to get off and stand up I said ouch and told him my back had a little twinge. He said “don’t start”

Then on the morning we were due to go home I came on my period and said I was “angin” for people who don’t know what that means it basically means disgusting

I’ve come home feeling a bit shitty and unloved but I’m not sure if I’m being over sensitive. Seems like he possibly doesn’t find me attractive which if that’s the case then fair enough but how would this make others feel?

He sounds like an absolute horror. Get out ASAP.

helen32 · 09/10/2024 20:55

He’s an arsehole. Dump him.
Hes the one ‘punching’

ClassyJen · 09/10/2024 20:57

big mistake

Things DP said to me while on holiday
WigglyVonWaggly · 09/10/2024 21:11

My ex behaved like this. Not my husband. That’s why one is the ex and one is not. He’s telling you loud and clear how he feels about you, but it’s actually you that can do better. Not him.

DisabledDemon · 09/10/2024 21:12

The appropriate response to this is, 'You're no fucking oil painting yourself, you tosser.'

Julimia · 09/10/2024 21:16

For goodness sake give him a taste of his own medicine. Answer him back, comment on his appearance and less attractive features. Stand up for yourself...please.!!

2Rideacockhorseofcourse · 09/10/2024 21:16

The thing that you really need to remind yourself of op, is that there are blokes out there who are really nice. This twat is not one of them. Sometimes, when your confidence has been eroded, it can make you feel the things like you’ve said “not sure if you’re being over sensitive.” You are absolutely not
being over sensitive. He is eroding your confidence & making you feel unworthy. You are not unworthy. You need to get rid of him & concentrate on things that make you feel good to get your confidence back. He is an utter scum bag. Good luck & have faith in yourself. Flowers

cuddlebear · 09/10/2024 21:30

He’s a proper piece of 💩 isn’t he?

Dump him and move on to a much improved life.

Elizo · 09/10/2024 21:32

This is unbelievably crap way to treat you. Please don't put up with it any longer. What does he look like anyway??!! Probably rubbish

HallidayJones6779 · 09/10/2024 21:33

I hope you have come to see, OP, that you’re not the problem; he is. What a horrid man. Please know you are better than this and he doesn’t deserve you. Please get rid of him and be kind to yourself,