Things DP said to me while on holiday

[noodlewoo]

Commented on what I was wearing to the airport. He said “you could have made more of an effort. “look at all these girls wearing trendy clothes. You need to start wearing clothes like that” I mean we literally had just got to the airport to go on holiday. Not a great start

Then when we got there he continued to point out what other women were wearing. “I like those gym leggings and sets” Don’t you wish you could wear stuff like that”

Continued to remind me that when we get home I need to get back on my diet. Maybe this is where I’m being sensitive because he said “for your sake not mine”

Then he asked if he thought people would put us together. Wasn’t sure what he meant so I asked him. He said well do you think people would think either of us were punching.

I sometimes have trouble with my back where it “goes” We were on a boat trip and when it was time to get off and stand up I said ouch and told him my back had a little twinge. He said “don’t start”

Then on the morning we were due to go home I came on my period and said I was “angin” for people who don’t know what that means it basically means disgusting

I’ve come home feeling a bit shitty and unloved but I’m not sure if I’m being over sensitive. Seems like he possibly doesn’t find me attractive which if that’s the case then fair enough but how would this make others feel?

The bigger question to ask is why on earth you would ever imagine that you were being over sensitive in the face of this horrific behaviour?!

Focus on that.
Then make steps to leave.
And raise your bar for next time.

So he's perving at other women in front of you, then doesn't even hide it uses it as an excuse to put you down?
He's a cunt. Imagine if your friend told you what you've written..what advice would you give them?

He is a disrespectful, arrogant prick. He is making it very clear that he thinks he can do “better” than you and has no idea that actually, with his attitude, he is extremely unattractive. I would go so far as to say he is repulsive. Not to worry op, since he can obviously do so much better, he won’t mind fucking off then, will he? Don’t let the door hit his delusional arse when you kick him out of it.

What prick? I’d be off like a shot, then slim down & get fit for myself

& why do you call him DP when he talks to you like that?

Please leave this horrible man. Don't let your children grow up thinking this is what a normal relationship looks like.

Dump the wanker

He has ground you down by chipping away at your self esteem with these nasty comments, and got you thinking you're insensitive . It's him, not you.
I think he gets a kick out of putting you down but please realise you are worth so much more than this
I promise you and DC will thrive without him
You are a carer for your DS which is really tough and he should have your back
Don't let him twist your words when you ask him to leave He will try
Life's too short, and you're still so young

It starts like this,emotional abuse. He’ll go to ruin any self esteem you still have and then blame you for being how you are without self esteem which he’s got rid of and it’s made you easier to manipulate.
A partnership works if you build each other up not try and destroy them.
you are worth more than this.he’ll probably sabotage any diet you go on and if you do succeed he’ll start saying he likes girls with a bit of meat on them!
Get out while you still have some self respect left.
I’ve worked with abused women so know something of this.

I’ll speak bluntly, your partner is a t&&sser. No one should be spoke to like that, he has no respect for you, no love for you and talks to you like dirt. If your daughter or friend told you their partner said this you would say to get rid. I don’t care if he’s got a gold plated k@@b or is “usually amazing”, this is downright vile behaviour and no one deserves it.

This wins the internet this week 🙌

After only reading the op, I actually muttered out loud 'Fucking cheeky twat'.

He is so in the wrong, OP. Have you spoken to him?

It has been my experience over the past 71 years that at LEAST 95% of people who say, "I'm telling you this for your own good," are NOT, in fact telling me a damned thing for my own good, they are telling me to shame me in some way, and don't give a rat's patootie (means "arse" in US, not sure about there) about my own good. Up to and including my ex. Which is one of the top five reasons that he IS an ex. No one should live with someone who belittles them.

What an arrogant, rude piece of work your partner is. How dare he speak to you in such a way?! You really don't deserve to be treated in that manner - no one does. Would you not be better off without him, and therefore able to find someone that values you? Sending hugs - please don't let him continue to disrespect you.

This is called gaslighting and is a form of domestic abuse.

He sounds horrible, and I think you deserve much better

I'm glad you said that. I've been wondering what Dawn O'Porter's ridiculous Twitter handle actually means.

As for the idiot the OP is saddled with he's a pointless waste of space.

Absolutely he's a shameful father, not a good one at all.

Is he Adonis?
Right out of the pages of Esquire and Vanity Fair?
Does he model for the big houses?
Is he a prime, prominent, super-fit athlete?
Do strange women in airports comment on his fabulous looks?
Do all your friends and colleagues fall all over themselves when he’s around?

In other words, my fine friend, @noodlewoo, you should probably remind Mr. Wonderful that he’s not so mucking fuch.
And tell him from us to STFU, that he’s lucky someone washes his dirty underpants.
❤️

I’d absolutely get myself in shape, healthy and fit. Spend on a new wardrobe hair and make up….then invest in a luxury bag and buy myself divorce diamonds!!!

this guy unless a fit stylish model of a man shouldn’t comment and absolutely doesn’t deserve you!

get rid.

I agree entirely. I can be down on myself all by myself. I do NOT need assistance, thankyouverydamnedmuch.

An oaf! I hope you can escape. Such a bad example for the chidren, too.

He should be slapping you ass when he sees you bending over to get something, not asking these sorts or questions or saying these things.

To answer one of his questions, he’s ‘punching’.

You are not being over sensitive and to say horrible things then say “ l was joking” is passive aggressive. He sounds discontent with his own life to be honest, and is projecting / blaming that on you . Don’t absorb his issues. It’s hard but work on your own self esteem and never rely on validation from someone who acts so badly. It’s pretty toxic even if he is a good dad ? YOU matter in this family and if he can’t support and love you the way a husband should then he’s not cut out to head into moving forward with you. Good luck. I hope you get the strength to make a decision not to be bothered by this childish behaviour.

Agree 100% with this.

I am so sorry OP that you’re with someone who is so nasty, manipulative, undermining and abusive. I’m assuming this isn’t new behaviour, but is escalating, hence your post?

I hope you believe you have options and can leave him. You’re so young, he will destroy you over time and I’m sure that’s not the life you want for you or your children. Is this the kind of relationship you want your children to emulate?

People like him, who seek to make themselves feel better by criticising their partner and mother of their children, are really disgusting human beings. Has he told you you’re being “over sensitive”? It’s classic behaviour of that type of abusive individual,

Please get some advice and review your options. You deserve so much better. He needs professional help.

This! What a vile man. ⬆️

I couldn't get past that. I'd be seriously considering getting out.