To be scared to have another baby after DH poor show last time.

[FabricFrog]

I had an emergency section with DD, extremely traumatic - block didn’t go high enough, baby high up, swabs lost inside. Put to sleep as could feel it all and screaming in agony on the table.

Post section I was really unwell, related to issues that cropped up, MW gave a private room so DH could help and gave him orders to let me sleep. He slept all night whilst I agonizingly tried to look after baby and when they came in he’d pretend he’d been caring for us both.

When we came home from hospital I was still having a lot of pain, and begged for some help and he took himself to the spare room. I went in and begged and cried for help and he called me a physcopath and shut the door on me.

He says this is because men aren’t made to handle lack of sleep, but I’m too scared for a repeat.

AIBU to say no more.

Do not have a baby with a man who, in your own words, you struggle to love.

You need to leave him immediately. How can you be with someone who did that to you?!

Sorry. Just seen the updates.

GOOD FOR YOU!!!

And as for “someone better”, I highly doubt it. And if they are all that, they won’t be putting up with him for long either xx

You have left him! Well done! I hope there isn't actually "someone better", she'll have a nasty surprise coming.

Well done op.

Im so glad you've got rid of him OP. What a horrible person.

is there somewhere you can go with your little one while you get yourself together to organise divorcing this well words fail me to adequately describe his cruelty, selfishness, deceit and downright vileness. What a terrible person he is and what a dreadful role model for your child. Please don't stay, don't make excuses for him, he will only get worse and ruin your life. You deserve so much more than this

Well you got that sorted easily enough OP. Any thoughts about how to resolve Ukraine, or Gaza?

Mine was awful too, started having affairs when our baby was only a few weeks old, wasn't interested in our child, left me for a woman he worked with when our baby was 7 months old and never paid any child support and I thought that was bad! This stuff is a whole other level of deliberate cruelty and abuse. One of the most shocking things I have read on here. Really hope OP gets rid and goes on to have a great life. Thing is I reckon he will find another woman to abuse and bully.

Just seen the update and feeling relieved and pleased. Well done OP, upwards and onwards towards a happy peaceful life for you and your little one. "Someone better" oh, they always have another one lined up, she is in for one hell of a shock when his mask inevitably drops.

Are you actually married op? If so did you protect your property?

My mum just said maybe there’s been someone else for a while, as men usually turn cold and distant when there is another woman.

When this house was being discussed to be left to me my mum said it was best to put it in her name with lifetime enjoyment to myself. So I think it will be protected?

Sorry but yes, I'd absolutely not want another kid with this man. How has he been as the baby has been growing up? I bloody well hope he's made up for it since!

Holy crap. Sorry for your situation. Well done for doing something about it.

He hasn’t been anything other than attentive to the baby, kind and patient with them. It’s me he hates 😂

I'm sorry why are you still with this man?

Have some fucking self respect because he has none for you!

Do you want your child growing up thinking this is how men treat their partners and this is what they can expect?

Edit: seen update. Well done! He'll come snivelling back at some point whinging that he's sorry, he's changed, he didn't know what he had etc etc. Don't fall for it. Kick him to the curb.

Honestly I won’t. I’m repulsed by him in every sense of the word.

I wonder will that change when the baby develops a personality it often does when people have the types of fatal character flaws your DH has.

Good for you OP. Let the rest of your life begin.
Hope you have stable employment, and good family and friends around you.

Did she do this to protect you from your (ex)DH? She must have seen what he was like?

I was really pleased to read your update.
Been following another thread, not as truly hideous as this story, but at first the husband was very offhand, glad to be rid of the wife etc.
Within a few days he had changed his tune and playing mind games, being nice to her.
Please bear in mind he might have been attractive to the ‘other’ person because she doesn’t live with him. Now his hand has been forced, she may or may not welcome him with open arms.
Well done on sending those messages. That’s a brilliant start. There are so many threads on here about The Script - where a man blames his wife/partner for everything giving himself ‘reasons’ why he ‘has’ to leave.
You have your lovely DC and your own life to lead now.
You have taken the first step.

He's bluffing, you haven't seen the last of him yet.

Men like him can't process being dumped, even if it's what they wanted.

She always said she didn’t trust him. She’s a good judge of character. Glad I went with her advice on the big stuff though.

I would get away from him