To be scared to have another baby after DH poor show last time.

[FabricFrog]

I had an emergency section with DD, extremely traumatic - block didn’t go high enough, baby high up, swabs lost inside. Put to sleep as could feel it all and screaming in agony on the table.

Post section I was really unwell, related to issues that cropped up, MW gave a private room so DH could help and gave him orders to let me sleep. He slept all night whilst I agonizingly tried to look after baby and when they came in he’d pretend he’d been caring for us both.

When we came home from hospital I was still having a lot of pain, and begged for some help and he took himself to the spare room. I went in and begged and cried for help and he called me a physcopath and shut the door on me.

He says this is because men aren’t made to handle lack of sleep, but I’m too scared for a repeat.

AIBU to say no more.

Well done OpP.
But really he doesn't fail to disappoint when it comes to being a complete pile of excrement does he?
The " something better" probably hasn't a clue what she is letting herself in for. No doubt she will find out.

It is now 99%. I suspect that someone voted yabu by mistake.

I’m sure she will be in for an unpleasant surprise. I’m actually fine with him going off though, saves me having to pretend to like him.

I hope you are okay. But consider this a lucky escape. What a really unpleasant nasty person he is. YOU are the one that can do better. Sending hugs xx

Hopefully that someone is a psychiatrist and not another victim.

@FabricFrog You are married to an utter C&NT.

Divorce the bastard and never look back.

Having one DC is fine.

Wow that must be a shock OP even though you were unhappy enough to end it. Now it's time to keep the momentum going - change the locks, see a solicitor, organise your paperwork.

Sending strength and gentle hugs

Good update - you are 100% better off without this knobhead

So set the wheels in motion to divorce but get a good solicitor. Even if the house is in your name only, it's classed as a marital asset

What does he have in the way of savings, pension, any other investments? You need to collate all financial details

Brilliant update .Well done .Sending you strength and hugs .What an example to your child you are .Honestly I'm so pleased for you .Don't let the b...r back into your life and I suspect he will be as crap a dad as he was a husband but Echo the get things sorted legally ASAP.

have not RTFT.

not only don't have another baby with this man: don't be in any kind of relationship with this man outside of coparenting

ETA: oh well - that will teach me! Congrats OP. Enjoy your new life.

Wow he's the gift that keeps giving.
He has shown who he is, a nasty, pathetic man. He just had to have the last word about splitting up
You're happiness starts now x

I was surprised at how non- bothered I was when I ended things with Ex H. It was actually a relief as I didn’t have that stress of him returning.

WHAT?!?!? are you mad op to even consider it!!!

Right, well it still morning, get his stuff boxed up and arrange for its storage/whatever.
Get the locks changed, and the rest of your life begins!
Well done OP!

Ah true to form out with the immediate cruelty. I hope you are okay @FabricFrog the only shame of it is that other person most certainly has not gotten a good one. I think I hope it turns out to be true for your sake because it will make divorcing him a hell of a lot easier if he is half out already because men like that tend not to take rejection well.

@kittylion2 advice is spot on.
And well done OP, you've just removed a man sized dead weight from around your shoulders. 👏👏

Well done OP.

But I’m going to focus as everyone else will - you’re married, FINANCES - you may own the house but you need legal advice here! How long have you been married, etc.?

Get good legal advice as an absolute priority.

Why would you EVER have another child with a man like that. That would be absolute madness.

@FabricFrog I’m sorry and glad all at once. Sorry he was just so awful to you at what should have been a wonderful time in your life despite the problems during birth etc. Sorry he’s been so crap after. Glad the creep is going because you deserve better and he’s awful and glad he’s trotted off ‘to someone better’ who we all know 1) is not better 2) hopefully will dump him (does she have her own house too?) 3) he might even have said that out of spite.

Trash took itself out. Awful man. Wish you well OP!

What a great update to read OP, here's to a new happy life for you 🎉

Op yabu for not leaving him (I know it's so hard though). Please call womens aid for advice about leaving him safely.

My ex would have been the same if he hadn't walked out a month before the baby was born- it's a blessing that he did, as I was so well looked after by my kind friends and family who helped me all night and nursed me post c section. Thats the kind of treatment you deserved - he was abusive and I'm sorry the midwives didn't see this and help you.

Absolutely don't have another child in this marriage. The ONLY thing I would say though, is I now have a massive broody yearning for baby number 2 but I don't want to do it on my own again with a sperm donor as it would be unfair for one child to have a dad but not the other (in my view - no judgement to women who do do this more power to you) and I also don't want to rush into a relationship while my boy is a toddler but by the time he's older I might be too old for a baby. IF you want another baby, and you have great family support, then you could get pregnant before you leave him and then leave and go to live next to or with family and then have a planned c section that they can help you recover from. Youre stuck coparenting with this man anyway so copareting with one child vs two children won't be very different and it might be nice for the children to have each other to go between houses with. This is only IF you want another baby. If I was in your position (and I would be if he hadn't left) I'd be tempted to do this.
X

‘Scared’ to have another baby? You’d be stupid to have another baby. He’s shown you who he is.

Sorry just read your update that you've ended it - well done op and enjoy your freedom!!

I’m so glad to read your update and strength @FabricFrog Reading what he said the day before you have birth and how he treated you was horrid. Enjoy the planning your new life away from him and the freedom that will bring

It doesn’t - 1% voted YABU! OP you would be mad to stay with him never mind have another baby with him. It’s good that you have realised.