To be scared to have another baby after DH poor show last time.

[FabricFrog]

I had an emergency section with DD, extremely traumatic - block didn’t go high enough, baby high up, swabs lost inside. Put to sleep as could feel it all and screaming in agony on the table.

Post section I was really unwell, related to issues that cropped up, MW gave a private room so DH could help and gave him orders to let me sleep. He slept all night whilst I agonizingly tried to look after baby and when they came in he’d pretend he’d been caring for us both.

When we came home from hospital I was still having a lot of pain, and begged for some help and he took himself to the spare room. I went in and begged and cried for help and he called me a physcopath and shut the door on me.

He says this is because men aren’t made to handle lack of sleep, but I’m too scared for a repeat.

AIBU to say no more.

Amazing!!

Yes a very different situation. Sounds like you’ll be ok.

Your mum is smart.

Good that he’s got OW - will let him think he’s made the decision and ‘dumped’ you so he should leave you alone

Well done OP, I hope you get back all the happiness you haven’t had!

Good for you OP, it WILL be the making of you, you'll be so much more at peace without his malign presence. You bobbed along because it was easier than confronting the problem, you won't be the first or last to have done that. Your mum's a total hero!

Assuming there is anyone else at all. This sounds like the sort of thing a petulant child would say when their bad behaviour has been checked.
Well done OP, you took control of the situation and your new life starts TODAY! 🍾💪😃

"... someone better for him waiting" eh? More of his bullshit OP - don't believe a word of it. I wonder how long this mythical woman would wait if she knew he actually wanted another baby with you? He really is repugnant.

If this is true, it's simply astonishing. Why on earth are you still married to this absolute wetwipe, never mind considering having another child with him!!

EDIT: I have just seen some updates on this thread. About bloody time too! Well done OP. Now get on with your life and never look back!

The only thing wrong with this thread is how long you had to put up with his shit. Glad you've seen sense!

You are amazing @FabricFrog

OP, I just wanted to say that I admire your strength and courage. I think you are doing absolutely the right thing as you deserve someone who loves and cares for you.

He is obviously being ingenuous as why would he be asking for another child with you if he wasn't happy?

I am glad you have your own home and support with a decent job. Hopefully he will be a good Dad and at some point in the future you can deal with the care of your child on a reasonably amicable basis.

But in my heart of hearts, I think your messages probably took him by surprise and the comments he made were off he cuff. Now he has had time to think, I would expect to hear more.

Get all your financial records in order, copy all of his paperwork that you can whilst he is away and lock your stuff away. Consult a solicitor before he returns and get all your ducks in a row and maybe change the locks. I'm presuming he has a key to the house. If the house is in your name or your mums, I believe that as a married couple he still has the right to collect his stuff, but that can be supervised so check with the solicitor.

I would go the official route with child maintenance and if you have child benefit, make sure its in your name.

Good luck

You have the Ick. Makes things much easier when it comes to separating.

Well done, you're doing the right thing by your child. He's not an example you want them to see.

You need to report him to the police if you’re in England or Wales. this level of abuse is criminal behaviour.

Not unreasonable at all. My DH was desperate for a sibling for our LO and swore we would manage and how much he would help. Between him working and prioritising his hobbies on his days off, I honestly feel like a single mother. I LOVE my kids but wish I had trusted my gut and said no. He now wants a 3rd but I flatly refuse come off my contraception.

Lordy 😳
Run and don't look back!

Good on you, op. 🌷

@FabricFrog your mother is a star and I’m so glad you listened to her!

I had a similar experience to you but DH was great. Yours sounds awful!

Before you leave him why not try to encourage him to have a Vasectomy so when you do no one else is likely to get treated the same way as you were. This post is purely for entertainment purposes and not an incitement to commit violence or any illegal acts...

Oh your mother is a legend.
Get those locks changed asap.
Gather his shit together and have it ready to be collected or ask for an address to send it to.

Ah well done. Change the locks.
Get legal advice to check your home is safe.
💐

This ^ Well done on getting rid of him, and what a smart mum you have.

Do get the locks changed ASAP and make sure they're good sturdy ones that can't be picked with a credit card.

Best of luck for your fresh new start @FabricFrog

Loving that "someone better". In his dreams. Still, fantastic news.

If the house is in your mother's name, you do not "solely own" it and there will be tax implications. You aren't as safe as you think.

Well I doubt her ex can touch it?

To be quite honest, i don’t know how you stand to be still with them, he sounds horrific . I hope he apologised over his behaviour?

Dont let him back OP!

Well, that really depends on the terms of the agreement between them and the person who actually owns the house. Presumably everything has been done legally and documented. He won't get any money out of the house, no, but he might have home rights which means he can't be kicked out until they divorce.