To be scared to have another baby after DH poor show last time.

[FabricFrog]

I had an emergency section with DD, extremely traumatic - block didn’t go high enough, baby high up, swabs lost inside. Put to sleep as could feel it all and screaming in agony on the table.

Post section I was really unwell, related to issues that cropped up, MW gave a private room so DH could help and gave him orders to let me sleep. He slept all night whilst I agonizingly tried to look after baby and when they came in he’d pretend he’d been caring for us both.

When we came home from hospital I was still having a lot of pain, and begged for some help and he took himself to the spare room. I went in and begged and cried for help and he called me a physcopath and shut the door on me.

He says this is because men aren’t made to handle lack of sleep, but I’m too scared for a repeat.

AIBU to say no more.

I hope your home is protect OP and he can't make a claim for half of it.

It sounds like you want to leave him. So think it's time you start making plans to kick him out

Just to add my voice to the choir: LTB LTB LTB. Good luck.

Just when I think I've read the most horrific thing here ....that is beyond horrific.

I voted YABU to stay with him after this..

Of course yanbu! Just be aware that if you’re married, he can claim on your home but may agree to leave without a fuss, hopefully. Please see a solicitor and get away from this shithead asap. Given his appalling behaviour, I somehow doubt he’s going to fight for custody.

Get him gone. Sounds like he’s dragging you down! You don’t need him. I’m so sorry he treated you this way

He sounds awful!!! I would have no respect for him after that

What a disgusting man!! Get rid OP, no words for that behaviour. Do not have another baby with him. I’m glad you are financially secure though.

Thank fuck for that. This thread is breathtakingly awful. Please let us know when you’ve got rid of that despicable man.

Given his behaviour and the fact you don’t know if you love him.. why even consider it? So stupid!

Sounds like you have your head screwed on OP. Get your ducks in a row and good luck. You deserve so much better, you don’t treat someone you love the way he treated you x

Lawyer up and get rid of this psychopath

No more with this guy.
These are his true colours and if he didn’t care for you and his baby at that crucial time, he really doesn’t care at all.

It sounds like he's picked up that you're not happy (and you absolutely should be anything but happy with this situation!) and is suggesting another baby to try and trap you. He said that he wished you had ended your life during the last pregnancy, it's not a stretch to consider that violence may occur during round two.

Don't roll those dice. Instead, take action to protect yourself and your daughter from this horrible and, by the sounds of it, dangerous man.

I know someone else whose partner behaved similarly. She couldn't forgive him and divorced him.

He sounds awful, selfish and without any empathy.

Get him out. This is honestly one of the most horrible things I’ve read on mumsnet. If some man treated your daughter like he has treated you, would you advise her to have another baby or would you tell her to kick the useless fuck out of her life??

i would not have lied to the mw i would have told her i had no help that night in hospital and at home i would have told the health visitor/GP/ someone
have another baby with him? i wouldnt have a 2n hand teddy bear with him make a new better life for you and your child be far better

Poor show doesn’t cover this. Having another baby is the least of the issues.

words fail me 😞
he is an utterly vile waste of space
no more kids and get your plans in place to get away from him

You can and will be happier without him.

Duck protocol. Good luck

He knows you've got one foot out of the door so the new baby idea is to tie you there. It's much harder to leave with two.

He is awful. You wouldn't treat a stranger like that and I bet he doesn't treat strangers like it. I had PND and despite doing nothing to help, spending money we didn't have, shouting all the time, my ex thought a new baby (so 2 under 2) was a good idea. He was astonished that I thought it was a shit idea ...

Gosh, this man is vile. Please leave him, it will be the best thing you ever did for you and your baby.

Do not have another baby with this arsehole. My H was no where near that bad but completely useless which is why I've only got 1 DS. Much easier with 1 if you're going to end up doing everything yourself.

"He slept all night whilst I agonizingly tried to look after baby and when they came in he’d pretend he’d been caring for us both."

So he knew what he should have done, didn't do it and then lied about it.
What you went through is incredible, and he only thought about himself. Not you, not your baby!

I'm so sorry he treated you like that. And to echo everyone else, yes, get out asap