To be scared to have another baby after DH poor show last time.

[FabricFrog]

I had an emergency section with DD, extremely traumatic - block didn’t go high enough, baby high up, swabs lost inside. Put to sleep as could feel it all and screaming in agony on the table.

Post section I was really unwell, related to issues that cropped up, MW gave a private room so DH could help and gave him orders to let me sleep. He slept all night whilst I agonizingly tried to look after baby and when they came in he’d pretend he’d been caring for us both.

When we came home from hospital I was still having a lot of pain, and begged for some help and he took himself to the spare room. I went in and begged and cried for help and he called me a physcopath and shut the door on me.

He says this is because men aren’t made to handle lack of sleep, but I’m too scared for a repeat.

AIBU to say no more.

Of course YANBU. No wonder you are scared. How awful 😢 Would you want to have/could you cope with a second child as a single mother OP? Are your parents/siblings close by and could they help you out with childcare regularly? If the answers to both are yes, only then I would consider having another child (I say this as a SMBC) - but then divorce your “D” H asap before your child/ren get to hear him speak to you/sees him treat you as badly again.

Your child/ren are young so hopefully a parental split will be easier on them than when older - and at least you have gotten a new family out of this situation (because it certainly doesn’t sound like your husband considers you all a family or he would never have treated you or your child that way in the first place).

Oh you poor thing, so glad to read you have family. Please get to a safe loving environment and take time to get over this. What a monster of a man.

I’m so glad you are making plans to livr without him. If he asks again about a baby you say do you want me to be pregnant again because you’re hoping I kill myself for real this time like you said you wished I had last time? See his face when you spell it out for him. And finalise those plans to split. You deserve so much more.

Definitely do not have another child. You should leave (him not your house) he sounds awful.

This is horrific OP, he's abusive, I hope you are able to leave 🫂💜

I'd also add my second only LTB...

You deserve soooo much more than this pathetic excuse for a human.... And your kids.

I wouldn't confront him... Just make your plans... Use your family /friends to facilitate your future single self...

Id also speak to domestic violence charities...to help manage your future life without him.. For support.

He does sound grim.

Has he ever been physically violent OP?

The risk sadly increases : Men like this may often up the ante when they realise their partners are getting ready to split up.

This is utterly disturbing and horrific, I’d leave him if I were you. That level of cruelty is really unnerving and you never know what the future could bring and he doesn’t seem dependant. A relationship should be your safe space and he seems the opposite of that.

He absolutely hates you, it's obvious.

OP, why are you still with him?
Get out of there, he hates you.....

That's vile.
Run! Leave him and create a happy life!

I’m amazed he thinks you’d be willing to have another child with him given his truly dreadful behaviour the last time. He sounds awful, OP.

My exH would be cruel and veil it under, "I'm just being honest". I stayed with him too long. You need to separate and get a lawyer pronto. He's not a man you and your child are safe to be around. Sending hugs x

You are in a great position to put him out. Do it! Good luck OP, he’s fucking awful.

Wow, just WOW! What an absolute c**t! Well, you know what you need to do OP and I'm glad to hear you're in a position to do so and with a good support network around you.
Why on earth would he think, after saying something so cruel to you and generally being a selfish, useless fecker, that you would want to have another child with him?
Best of luck to you and your DC for a fabulous future free of that oxygen thief!

If you both live in your house, you need to get him to leave. ASAP. Tell your family what has been going on, what he has said to you, and ask for help. See a lawyer. Stop having sex with him, if by any chance you can get in bed with that cunt and not vomit. Don't risk falling pregnant. He's absolutely vile.

I think by the sounds of things you've already got one foot out of this relationship. Time to take the next step.

Can't believe what I just read. Forget about having more babies with him, and leave him. What a despicable man.

He sounds absolutely terrible. I can see you are thinking of leaving anyway and you are already tied to him with one child. In your position you could consider getting pregnant again before you leave, having 2 children won’t make you any more tied to him and means children are full siblings rather than you finding a new partner and half siblings. I only suggest this if you really want a second child and have the means raise them without him.

Hmmm...dunno...always two asides to the story ofc....

And don't forget he's gotta put up with all the shit at work etc - there's no escape for him.

Maybe Even Stevens?

Dunno...not sure...there's loads of shit to put up with all round...the trick is to battle alongside each other, I think...

I always love pop songs where its you and me against the world..."I think were alone now," Tiffany, "Fallin'" - Haim, "Main dans la Main" - Elli and Jacno, "They don't know" - Kirsty McColl

And a good song from years ago: "Cunts Can Fuck Off.."

I like songs x

Oh OP that sounds absolutely awful, I’m so sorry. Echo all the LTB comments. Are you legally married? Time to lawyer up or he’ll take half your house. Good luck.

So why would you even THINK of having another child with him after that?. Are you a masochist?

I agree with this.

You have been treated appallingly by this man so I'm reluctant to say anything that will make you feel worse, but knowingly having more babies with him now you know what he's really like would be a neglectful and abusive act IMO.

You and your existing child need to get away. I'm aghast that the physical act of conceiving was even on the cards, to be honest!

It isn't fair on yourself or your child (or weirdly, the husband) to stay in such an unhappy relationship.

I think you have your answer on here loud and clear! And I echo the responses. He is the psychopath! I wish you all the best for the future. Take care

Two things.

There is absolutely no way you should stay with this man.

Who the hell are the 2% saying you are being unreasonable, and why?!

I voted YABU because I cannot understand why you are still with this man at all, let alone thinking about having another baby with him!!! I’m so sorry you had to suffer that but you can make sure it never happens again by leaving that waste of space.