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AIBU?

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Original poster

Fed up of DH wanting to 'talk' about my friends

258 replies

Boredofitall88 · 06/10/2024 21:45

Dh and I have been together years, and it's becoming more and more apparent that we have widely different sex drives. I'm happy with once a week, I don't think he would be satisfied if we were doing it 2 or 3 times a day!

We also both work full time and have 2 young children (9 & 4)

One thing that constantly puts me off is he likes to talk about other people, what he would do if they were there and constantly mentions wanting a threesome (like everytime we do anything.)

Problem is it's not just famous people, he starts bringing up my friends. He'll ask what i would do if they suddenly came on to him and would he have to say no etc

I know he wouldn't actually do anything (and it's really not likely to happen in real life as none of my friends are his biggest fan anyway) but it's draining.

He says I'm boring and he's just doing it ti make things more exciting but I find it awkward and I don't want to talk about people I know that way

He also constantly tells me that he could better and that I'm punching above my weight and would never find anyone else so this kind of talk doesn't really help

OP posts:
Fastback · 07/10/2024 05:44

I can’t imagine why your friends dislike him…

He is utterly vile. And telling you he could do better and that you’re punching above your weight?! No.

Please tell me you don’t have a daughter. I’d fear for her friends as she gets older if you do.

MsDogLady · 07/10/2024 05:52

@Boredofitall88, he is gaslighting you that it’s ‘normal’ to keep pushing for a threesome and describing the moves he’d make on your friends. It’s beyond the pale, and the fact that you’ve repeatedly asked him to stop but he sulks and then always resumes the same sex chat is disgusting.

He has zero regard for your feelings and boundaries.

romdowa · 07/10/2024 05:54

Boredofitall88 · 07/10/2024 03:46

Thank you for all of the replies

He wasn't always this bad. he has always wanted sex more than I have but it's been the last few years that it's got worse.

I have called him out on it and told him to stop a couple of times, he then sulks says he won't mention them again its fine for a few weeks and then it slowly starts again

It's always kicks off more when he has had a drink

He tries to tell me it's normal to talk about your friends like this

It's definitely not normal. If my dh spoke about my friends this way then I'd hit the roof! Talk about his friends or even his brother in that way and see if he likes it .

ChristmasFluff · 07/10/2024 05:56

It's time to pick your bar up off the floor, OP. If you really must, have the conversation where you tell him you will divorce him if he talks about a third person ever again. and follow through.

Better still, just divorce him. He's successfully chipped away at your self-esteem to the extent that you are putting up with this.

Your friends don't like him because he's horrible. They'll be overjoyed that you are divorcing.

discoballdave · 07/10/2024 06:06

I really couldn't cope with this. He's clearly fantasising about your friends. Please divorce this bloke.

Conniebygaslight · 07/10/2024 06:17

I think he sounds a bit dangerous OP. If he wouldn’t be satisfied 2 or 3 times a day talks about your friends and says you’re punching, he sounds like he could be the sort of man who is a sexual predator. Just awful.

TodayandThursday · 07/10/2024 06:21

No wonder your friends can't stand him

Odious vile creature! I bet there are plenty more reasons they don't like him.

Aposterhasnoname · 07/10/2024 06:37

Urgh, my fanny clamped shut just reading that. LTB

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 07/10/2024 06:45

I can hazard a guess as to why your friends aren't his biggest fans and it'll be related to his lecherous behaviour.

Savingthehedgehogs · 07/10/2024 06:45

Yuk. Ltb

Cappuccinowithonesugarplease · 07/10/2024 06:45

No this is so not normal!
What an utter hoodwanking thundercunt this 'man' is! If that's what he wants let him go and fill his boots then boot him out that door.

My first LTB on here.

pictoosh · 07/10/2024 06:49

It is not normal for him to talk about your friends like that. Maybe it's normal for a creep. Maybe creeps think that's ok.

Cappuccinowithonesugarplease · 07/10/2024 06:50

TheCatterall · 06/10/2024 23:48

I’d tell him that my mates all find him cringy as fuck and wouldn’t give him a golden shower if he was on fire let alone have a threesome. “Joanne would never come onto you, you deluded little prat.. so thinks your a gormless gobbin and a feckless fucker.”

I’d inform him that he’s deluded to think you are punching above your weight as the
Gossip is he makes folks nauseous with his overinflated sense of self and he’s merely a little prick in an ocean of cock should you want to go fishing.

I’d also be taking legal advice on how to separate so that me and the kids can grow up in a sleaze free home as I doubt this issue is even the worst of them..

Brilliant and I laughed out load at 'Gormless goblin' 🤣

Savingthehedgehogs · 07/10/2024 06:53

You are married to a predator.

He doesn’t even try to hide what he is. What on earth do you possibly see in him? Why would you stand for this op? This is well beyond jokey banter, and is truly vile and predatory.

FrostFlowers2025 · 07/10/2024 06:53

Boredofitall88 · 07/10/2024 03:46

Thank you for all of the replies

He wasn't always this bad. he has always wanted sex more than I have but it's been the last few years that it's got worse.

I have called him out on it and told him to stop a couple of times, he then sulks says he won't mention them again its fine for a few weeks and then it slowly starts again

It's always kicks off more when he has had a drink

He tries to tell me it's normal to talk about your friends like this

He may not have been as bad as his is now, but it doesn't sound like he was ever a good man.

Anyways. He's the one punching above his weight-class. You are way too good for him, OP. Find a man who actually appreciates you as a fellow human being and not some fuck-toy

jeaux90 · 07/10/2024 07:00

JFC OP.
You know this isn't to be tolerated right?

Odious sex pest.

CheeseDreamsTonight · 07/10/2024 07:02

God I've never ever said this but you need to leave him! He sounds horrible.

TemuSpecialBuy · 07/10/2024 07:04

Boredofitall88 · 07/10/2024 03:46

Thank you for all of the replies

He wasn't always this bad. he has always wanted sex more than I have but it's been the last few years that it's got worse.

I have called him out on it and told him to stop a couple of times, he then sulks says he won't mention them again its fine for a few weeks and then it slowly starts again

It's always kicks off more when he has had a drink

He tries to tell me it's normal to talk about your friends like this

He may not have been as bad as his is now, but it doesn't sound like he was ever a good man

agreed 💯

also to confirm: its totally totally abnormal

I'd honestly be looking to divorce if i couldnt I'd be ending all marital and sexual relations and we'd essentially be roommates

I cant even tell you how disrespectful gross and creepy this guy is.
I would also be deeply unsurprised if he was seeing prostitutes on the side because "you dont give him what he needs" 🤢

ruethewhirl · 07/10/2024 07:11

Good lord, dump the fucker! He sounds absolutely vile!

Partylikeits1985 · 07/10/2024 07:12

Gross

MrFoxandtheslippers · 07/10/2024 07:12

Oh the irony of him wanting more sex and then saying things that would make any woman drier than the Sahara!

He's revolting. Utterly revolting and clearly very stupid too.

MoveToParis · 07/10/2024 07:13

Savingthehedgehogs · 07/10/2024 06:53

You are married to a predator.

He doesn’t even try to hide what he is. What on earth do you possibly see in him? Why would you stand for this op? This is well beyond jokey banter, and is truly vile and predatory.

Edited

Yes this.

Once you leave him you’ll find out that he’s been saying things like “We’ve been talking about a threesome with you” to some of your friends.

He’s grim, and sleazy.

NotaCoolMum · 07/10/2024 07:14
Sad Trash Talk GIF

This is where he belongs….

DrummingMousWife · 07/10/2024 07:17

Punching above ?! I would tell him to get out right now. Sorry, I wouldn’t put up with this Op. you deserve more !!!

Skyrainlight · 07/10/2024 07:17

He sounds foul. What an absolute turn off.