Fed up of DH wanting to 'talk' about my friends

[Boredofitall88]

Dh and I have been together years, and it's becoming more and more apparent that we have widely different sex drives. I'm happy with once a week, I don't think he would be satisfied if we were doing it 2 or 3 times a day!

We also both work full time and have 2 young children (9 & 4)

One thing that constantly puts me off is he likes to talk about other people, what he would do if they were there and constantly mentions wanting a threesome (like everytime we do anything.)

Problem is it's not just famous people, he starts bringing up my friends. He'll ask what i would do if they suddenly came on to him and would he have to say no etc

I know he wouldn't actually do anything (and it's really not likely to happen in real life as none of my friends are his biggest fan anyway) but it's draining.

He says I'm boring and he's just doing it ti make things more exciting but I find it awkward and I don't want to talk about people I know that way

He also constantly tells me that he could better and that I'm punching above my weight and would never find anyone else so this kind of talk doesn't really help

A Hoor maister at best and what's the betting he's nae exactly super hot himsel.

If he has got worse over time I suspect he has a porn addiction. This is not normal and you deserve better. Time for a frank conversation about your future. Unless he owns this as a problem and is prepared to work on it you will become even unhappier. Definitely do not stay married if he is not going to change.

Tell him that your friends don't like him and wouldn't touch him with a barge pole.

Have you checked your cellar and the garden for bodies, he gives me Fred West vibes, never mind the ick! Get rid of this loser

How dare he tell you you’re punching above your weight, what a creep!! You sound lovely, and I’m sure it’s the other way round, and by the looks of it, your friends have got the measure of him already!!

eugh…eugh…eugh

I would say anything to him, I'd save it for the divorce lawyer.

Only two posts OP, but my skin is crawling. He sounds utterly repugnant.

I wouldn't care if he looked like Brad Pitt, if I had to put up with this shite I'd find him the ugliest man alive.

Punching above your weight?! Fuck me. This cretin needs a punch to the nads. He's breaking you down so you give in to his lewd fantasies. What a piece of shit!

He sounds revolting. Next time he says, “Imagine if your friend, Olivia, was here”, pretend to think briefly, then breezily say that Olivia would run a mile as she finds him very unsexy. When he chooses another friend, do the same, and tell him you find his wanting to talk about friends very off-putting because it brings to mind the comments they’ve made about him.

And if he says you’re punching above your weight again, pretend to mishear him and agree that yes, that’s what your friends say about him - that he’s punching above his weight.

But really, you can do better than this loser.

Tell him to fuck off & find someone on his own level.

Bet he's struggles

Ugh - deal breaker I’m afraid and it’s not going to get any better.

Why are you with this c**t, sorry to drop a C bomb but come on, he is emotionally manipulating you. He will never be happy, even if you were to do it 2-3 times a day, men like this will always find something to pin on you, you’ll never be good enough OP. For the sake of your mental sanity and for your kids, please don’t indulge this cretin any longer. He’s full of shit. Tell him you don’t have sex that often because he’s too small and doesn’t please you in that department. Tell him that as you drop kick him out of the door. Please leave, huge red flaggage here!!!

Get rid, sounds creepy and repulsive

I’m sure, given his open-minded approach to bedroom discussion, that he’d be delighted to hear you graphically describe what you’d like to do to other men you fancy in your social circle while having sex with him. No? Ask him to explain why.

Then get a solicitor and divorce the prick. I’m dead serious - telling you that you’re ‘punching’ and eroding your sexual boundaries (you’re not consenting to hearing his ‘fantasies’ 🙄) are both abusive. He doesn’t care about you and you deserve better.

Once you leave, I suspect he’ll find that your friends (and any other women) aren’t exactly queuing out the door to have sex with this charmer…

I could have written this myself!! All my ex DHs sex talk about wanting threesomes etc put me right off having sex with him AT ALL!! I ended up not even liking him!
Sex drive is back to fantastic now he’s gone!! 🤣

He’s repulsive. You deserve better. Your children will be affected by his atrocious values. LTB.

I agree with everyone else - LTB

He sounds positively revolting.

And boring! It’s incredibly boring to go on about his predictable and unimaginative sexual fantasies, esp when you’ve told him not to. There’s nothing even remotely interesting about them.

I can’t imagine even wanting to do it with someone like this once, never mind once a week!

My vagina clamped shut reading that. No thanks.

🤮🤮🤮

Is he for real?

hesa pig an no its not normal

I literally have no words.

None.

The bar is in hell.

OP looking at your last sentence - this man is emotionally abusive and you sadly probably cannot see that yet.

Sex once a week is a “sexually cold relationship”?

Gosh, this can't be real. Are you honestly so desperate as to stay with someone like him? I suggest some counselling for yourself... big issues there, if you choose to be with someone who speaks and treats you this way. Disgusting.

Sounds like hes got enough cheek for another arse! It makes me laugh when men have the audacity to tell their partners they could do better because 9/10 its simply false. If he’s so sure he could do better and find someone who can fulfill all his wants then why hasn’t he left? He sounds pathetic, he’s got a hand can’t he use it instead of pestering you? Honestly you deserve better!