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Original poster

Fed up of DH wanting to 'talk' about my friends

258 replies

Boredofitall88 · 06/10/2024 21:45

Dh and I have been together years, and it's becoming more and more apparent that we have widely different sex drives. I'm happy with once a week, I don't think he would be satisfied if we were doing it 2 or 3 times a day!

We also both work full time and have 2 young children (9 & 4)

One thing that constantly puts me off is he likes to talk about other people, what he would do if they were there and constantly mentions wanting a threesome (like everytime we do anything.)

Problem is it's not just famous people, he starts bringing up my friends. He'll ask what i would do if they suddenly came on to him and would he have to say no etc

I know he wouldn't actually do anything (and it's really not likely to happen in real life as none of my friends are his biggest fan anyway) but it's draining.

He says I'm boring and he's just doing it ti make things more exciting but I find it awkward and I don't want to talk about people I know that way

He also constantly tells me that he could better and that I'm punching above my weight and would never find anyone else so this kind of talk doesn't really help

OP posts:
FrauPaige · 06/10/2024 23:38

This is one of those times when this hackneyed, over-used phrase is applicable...

LTB

Copperoliverbear · 06/10/2024 23:38

He's a loser, tell him in the morning you want him to leave and you want a divorce.

Ivehearditbothways · 06/10/2024 23:38

Why did you marry him? Why did you have kids with him? I don’t understand the desperation of some women… it’s like any man will do, just any one who looks at you and you’ll marry them and reproduce with them just so you’re not alone?

Being alone is better than this. What are you doing? You only get one life. This is literally all you get… and you’re choosing to spend it like this?

Efrogwraig · 06/10/2024 23:38

Arse.

Copperoliverbear · 06/10/2024 23:39

Also he's a creepy cunt.

Miniopolis · 06/10/2024 23:43

What a creep, and he’s probably tried it on with your friends.

yeesh · 06/10/2024 23:45

What a disgusting man 🤮

Veryoldandtired · 06/10/2024 23:47

A-hem big RED FLAG 🚩. OP, that’s some serious narcissistic stuff!

TheCatterall · 06/10/2024 23:48

I’d tell him that my mates all find him cringy as fuck and wouldn’t give him a golden shower if he was on fire let alone have a threesome. “Joanne would never come onto you, you deluded little prat.. so thinks your a gormless gobbin and a feckless fucker.”

I’d inform him that he’s deluded to think you are punching above your weight as the
Gossip is he makes folks nauseous with his overinflated sense of self and he’s merely a little prick in an ocean of cock should you want to go fishing.

I’d also be taking legal advice on how to separate so that me and the kids can grow up in a sleaze free home as I doubt this issue is even the worst of them..

healthybychristmas · 07/10/2024 00:37

I agree you should live in a sleaze-free zone. This will not be possible if he's living in it.

How can you tolerate this? The fact he wants sex so frequently indicates he does fuck all in the house and spends fuck all time with the children. He clearly has no other hobbies or interests.

Doesn't he bore you?

tolerable · 07/10/2024 00:58

try "ewww-we are incompatible,let role play...you fuck off aand im ok"

maudelovesharold · 07/10/2024 01:08

Hmm…an outrageous op, followed by radio silence!

Original poster
Boredofitall88 · 07/10/2024 03:46

Thank you for all of the replies

He wasn't always this bad. he has always wanted sex more than I have but it's been the last few years that it's got worse.

I have called him out on it and told him to stop a couple of times, he then sulks says he won't mention them again its fine for a few weeks and then it slowly starts again

It's always kicks off more when he has had a drink

He tries to tell me it's normal to talk about your friends like this

OP posts:
Peakyblinder18 · 07/10/2024 03:54

@Boredofitall88 he'd give me the ick.
I bet your friends get the ick just looking at him too. Eeeew

MsDogLady · 07/10/2024 04:01

So his ‘pillow talk’ is always about bringing in your friends and others for threesomes and what he’d do to them?? That is beyond abhorrent. And he also enjoys negging that you are boring and less attractive than he is? He clearly gets a buzz from humiliating you.

@Boredofitall88, it is disturbing that you are tolerating his utter degradation of you and disrespect of your friends [who clearly have the measure of him]. I assume that he is an arrogant, misogynistic, self-serving pig in other ways.

I empathize with your poor children having such a shit father and role model.

Please consider making an exit plan.

NiftyKoala · 07/10/2024 04:05

OP read your post and pretend it's what your sister or friend told you. You'd tell them how disgusting he is and to leave. He does not deserve you.

autienotnaughty · 07/10/2024 04:17

He's vile I'm surprised you had sex with him twice.

Talking about your friends isn't normal. Telling you he's better than you isn't normal. It's nasty and likely massively untrue.

I'd look to leave you definitely deserve better!

Codlingmoths · 07/10/2024 04:22

Oh my god it is NOT normal! It is disgusting and so disrespectful.

Pipsquiggle · 07/10/2024 04:27

He sounds absolutely disgusting @Boredofitall88

It sounds very telling that your friends don't like him. Just from what you are saying, and how your friends are acting, he's coming across as a massive perv. Huge red flag.

It's awful about what he is saying to you. I am sure you can do way better than him. He just sounds gross.

Crayfishforyou · 07/10/2024 04:35

It is normal for HIM to talk about friends like this, but it isn’t normal in the general populace.

Shoxfordian · 07/10/2024 05:21

It's incredibly disrespectful of you and your friends, and a long way from normal. He's probably ruined your confidence, saying he can do better - I suggest you tell him to leave tbh.

WiddlinDiddlin · 07/10/2024 05:28

Ew.

I have some pretty open minded friends and have definitely dabbled on the spicier side of the bedroom in my youth.

We've even done the threesome thing, with friends, and still no, there has never been a time where we've been in bed together doing the deed and discussing or fantasizing about our friends. Not ever.

So no it really isn't remotely normal - it is massively disrespectful to you and your friends, he is a nasty fucker, and he seems to get off on putting you down and trying to make you feel insecure.

Ditch this prick asap, get yourself an upgrade - I am 100% certain he is the one who is 'punching'.

User37482 · 07/10/2024 05:33

Trust me, you aren’t punching. He’s really creepy, most women would get the immediate ick with him. He actually sounds really gross. You don’t have to spend the rest of your life with him. You really don’t.

User37482 · 07/10/2024 05:34

Boredofitall88 · 07/10/2024 03:46

Thank you for all of the replies

He wasn't always this bad. he has always wanted sex more than I have but it's been the last few years that it's got worse.

I have called him out on it and told him to stop a couple of times, he then sulks says he won't mention them again its fine for a few weeks and then it slowly starts again

It's always kicks off more when he has had a drink

He tries to tell me it's normal to talk about your friends like this

It’s not normal, I’d be worried that my DH had some sort of brain injury if he started talking like this. I would genuinely think he was seriously ill.

Flickeringgreenflame · 07/10/2024 05:38

Usually friends at least try to put a brave face on it when somebody marries somebody they don't particularly like. The fact that your friends aren't making any effort to hide what they think with you means that he is probably truly awful.

I can't even begin to imagine my husband (or any of my exes for that matter) chatting about having sex with my friends. He's just trying to push you into a threesome, not realising that your friends would rather gnaw off their fingers than have sex with him.

I am sure that he must be fairly awful in other aspects of your life. Nobody this horrid is only horrid in one tiny aspect. They tend to be horrid through and through.

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