To feel so embarrassed and ashamed.

[Lindaful]

We moved house yesterday.

Weeks previous to this a family friend offered us use of his businesses van. I was told it was huge and had done many house moves previously. In addition, he said him and a member of his staff would come and help and that we'd have the van from the night before to load up. We were all packed up days before.

What actually happened, was he didn't come until 9.30 on the day of the move left the van with us and went home. No one additional brought to help. The van was also FAR too small.

Long story short, this resulted in us having to do multiple van loads. The house was fully empty, sparkling clean and locked up when the new owners arrived. But mortifyingly, lots of our stuff was still on our neighbours side of the shared driveway (they offered us use of this space) still waiting to be taken in van loads when the new owners arrived.

Obviously in hindsight there's a million things I wish I'd done, but I can't change what happened. But I feel so full of shame and absolutely sick with embarrassment about what's happened. I feel so upset at what the new owners must think of us and the thought that we ruined their move in experience. I keep crying and I can't take any enjoyment in our new house because it's all I can think about. So, AIBU? And how do I even begin to move on from this?

I would guess that they saw the house before they brought it? In which case, they've already seen your stuff. I don't know of a single house move that hasn't had a hiccup of some form. I'm sure their move would have had at least one too. They moved in to a house that was prepared for them. You moved all of your belongings, it just took a bit longer. Take some deep breaths, get a good night's sleep and send some flowers to the neighbour that let you use their drive way. Then Unpack your things in to your new home and enjoy it.

Yes indeed.

Op, it isn't unusual for people to borrow a van and move themselves with a few journeys. Nobody will think anything of it and it has saved you money, removal firms cost a lot.

Forget it now, it's over.

I arrived at my flat 3 hours late cos the previous occupier wouldn't hand the keys back to the estate agent cos she was still packing her stuff up, it meant my removal guys were sat twiddling their thumbs and I also had to phone the company who was delivering my new bed to see if they would be ok coming later on. They closed early on a Saturday so we ended up with a bed propped up against the wall. Finally got the keys only to be greeted with water pissing out all over the kitchen floor. By this point the estate agents had closed for the rest of the weekend and I couldn't get an emergency plumber for love nor money. In the end we got it sorted but it meant instead of being able to move in and start unpacking we were constantly having to run outside to empty buckets of water and then try and dry the kitchen floor out as quick as we could.

I think perhaps the stress and worry that was caused by your friend's thoughtless behaviour yesterday is hitting you fully now that you've time to stop and think about it. Try not to dwell on it, if you can avoid it. Moving is very stressful and tiring, try to get some rest and then take a deep breath and start making your new place yours. Best of luck in the new house!

Not unreasonable in the sense that moving home is one of the most stressful experiences in life, so you’re probably feeling quite emotional? Plus, your friend did add extra stress by turning up in the morning, rather than the night before, when the size of the van would’ve been known with more time to spare.

I expect they have helped people move with that van but some people, e.g. renters who let furnished places, don’t always have much stuff.

But if the house was ready when the new owners arrived, there’s really nothing to be embarrassed about. You overcame the difficulty and got moved.

So, YABU to feel ashamed. But I expect it’s the stress. You understandably wanted to be gone by the time the new owners turned up. Try to see the positive of owning your own home. If I did, I wouldn’t care what people thought of me. When you look back, you’ll have a laugh about it.

When we moved house my parents still had tons of stuff to move out when the new owners arrived. I don’t think my parents were at all embarrassed. Once I bought a flat and the keys were not available at midday as agreed, went round and they were still moving out till after 4pm, when we did get in place was filthy. Another time house was semi filled with furniture and possessions which we deliberated not accepting keys but happened to bump into the seller who suggested helping us get rid of it there and then (which involved us spending a few hrs on trips to tip). Honestly people do this all the time. Your sellers got an empty clean house. They’re not going to care about your stuff on neighbours drive. Chill

Genuine question - Do you have OCD or similar issues, OP? I won’t be joining in with everyone else's mocking of someone who clearly has at the very least, anxiety, if not OCD. Ffs.

OP I think you must be incredibly stressed and over tired to be in this state about something so unimportant.

I remember reading that moving house is more stressful than getting married, job interviews, driving tests and even childbirth.

Keep yourself busy unpacking and putting things away. When your new house has some sort of order to it, you will feel more in control. Have early nights and fresh air during the daytime.

@Lindaful you left the house sparkling clean and haven't done anything wrong. I hope you're beginning to enjoy your new house now. Some of these replies are spiteful.

What an absolute over reaction! If this is your biggest issue to be mortified about you're doing well in life

Does everyone have a 'moving in experience' then? I thought it was an experience I had to have, it was all shit and stressful, and then you're in the new house? How odd. Your reaction is also odd. Why are you crying because they saw your belongings outside? Don't get it? Stranger than strange.

But…nothing happened?

Reading threads on here, I often wonder how some people cope with life…🤷🏼‍♀️

WTF is a moving in experience?

you don’t need to be a doctor to realise this woman needs to take a step back and chill a bit. I’d imagine it’s incredibly stressful for those living with her when she’s worked up over something minor. I know from experience. She posted on here, so people are going to give their thoughts, that’s how it works.

~~get a grip~~

OP, I mean this kindly, but if you allow common occurrences such as this to get you in such a state that your enjoyment of your new home is 'ruined' then good luck in life.

Man, are you gonna need it.

Can't have been that bothered. It's been a day and no second post.
Joke?
Froth magnet?
Journo fishing trip?

💯 this

Take care delicate petal it is a bastard out there.

Similar here, but due to miscalculated volume of stuff really. At short notice had to hire a second van and me drive the thing having nil recent van driving experience. Was I stressed?, very, angry? , a bit, disappointed ? , definitely. Gutted I'd put my friends out who were helping us, but it was a short blip in a long friendship and we survived, though some random stuff got lost/broken, no one died, everyone moved when they should and hopefully never to be repeated lesson learnt.

So yes, probably all feels a bit awful, but it happens everyday. Don't worry about it.

I've wondered that for years because of what I see on MN! Many times I've thought 'start by getting of your bloody phone and trying to sort it out'! It's often akin to Anne Boleyn wondering if she should go to A & E with her head tucked underneath her arm.

@Lindaful you’re getting a hard time, but I think that there is something else going on and you are transferring it onto this? Has something else happened in the past that has triggered this being similar?