To feel so embarrassed and ashamed.

[Lindaful]

We moved house yesterday.

Weeks previous to this a family friend offered us use of his businesses van. I was told it was huge and had done many house moves previously. In addition, he said him and a member of his staff would come and help and that we'd have the van from the night before to load up. We were all packed up days before.

What actually happened, was he didn't come until 9.30 on the day of the move left the van with us and went home. No one additional brought to help. The van was also FAR too small.

Long story short, this resulted in us having to do multiple van loads. The house was fully empty, sparkling clean and locked up when the new owners arrived. But mortifyingly, lots of our stuff was still on our neighbours side of the shared driveway (they offered us use of this space) still waiting to be taken in van loads when the new owners arrived.

Obviously in hindsight there's a million things I wish I'd done, but I can't change what happened. But I feel so full of shame and absolutely sick with embarrassment about what's happened. I feel so upset at what the new owners must think of us and the thought that we ruined their move in experience. I keep crying and I can't take any enjoyment in our new house because it's all I can think about. So, AIBU? And how do I even begin to move on from this?

You need to look at this with proportionality and appropriate perspective, is how I would word this if I were saying it to someone at work.

or - as I’d say to my husband - you need to get a grip.

This level of melodrama over an absolute non-event is ludicrous.

Moving house is a major life upheaval, very stressful and exhausting. I can only think it's all got on top of you as you are extremely over reacting to this.
Enjoy your new home and chill.

How are you feeling about it all now? You sound like an absolute survivor to have gone through that experience ❤️.

You got a free van, but you don't think it was big enough and no one gave up their time to help you, you must be devastated. You got all your stuff out and the house was sparkling clean, but the new owners must hate you, why? Get a grip!

Surely the OP is saying that they are worried about their reaction? They MUST know that this is wrong? How could anyone think that they needed to be embarrassed about some furniture on a drive?

I had to read this 3 times to understand what the issue was, moving is mentally draining and stressful it’s totally normal to get so eat up about trivial things. Literally nobody died and nobody cares and I mean no offence by this. If someone left some things on your drive would you really care to judge? Remember your a tiny person on a big floating rock, it’s not that deep I promise x

I'd like to have your problems. Go read some threads from people with actual issues.

I think you are being a tad over sensitive BUT moving house is a big deal and so stressful.
Try and forget about it now and enjoy your new home.
Best of luck settling in 💐

@Lindaful Obviously in hindsight there's a million things I wish I'd done, but I can't change what happened. But I feel so full of shame and absolutely sick with embarrassment about what's happened.

ARE YOU SERIOUS???

At least you didn’t meet a random guy on a night out, went back to his flat hammered, started doing the deed and threw up all over him. He then leaves you to throw up all over his room til morning. You then put your dress and heels back on to get in an Uber. Waiting for the Uber outside (Oxford road in Manchester, AKA one of the busiest roads) a guy in a car starts shouting OI OIII and blasting the horn so everyone on their commute to work and uni looks at you. The Uber turns up, but it’s not a regular Uber. It’s like the pope mobile. A huge van that’s high up and you fall into it climbing in. Finally getting home, your housemates have called the police and reported you as a missing person because your phone was dead and you were passed out after drinking too many shots.

Because that’s what happened to me when I was 21 and at uni. The shame has never left.

I couldn’t get worked up over some boxes being out on my neighbours driveway.

Dear god woman get a grip! How do you move on from this indeed! Make yourself a cup of tea and stop being so dramatic.

Your reaction to this is quite extreme. Do you suffer from anxiety? It sounds like the reaction of someone who does. Moving house is incredibly stressful so maybe the stress of moving has made you react this way?

I have never moved into a clean house. Lucky them! Most people don't have time to clean after the furniture is moved. There is no shame in a bit of chaos on move day. It is largely regarded as one of the most stressful things you can do!

Honestly, please don't worry about this, the new owners would not have given this another thought! Particularly as it sounds like you left the house lovely and clean for them.

I have moved house many times and it would not have bothered me in the slightest. The one house move that sticks out in my memory was when the previous owners had left our new house in a complete state, absolutely filthy and with rubbish left in the garden and the house. That's the sort of thing that would bother the new owners, not what you did!

Moving is very stressful, so I hope you have time to relax and have a bit of a breather now!

You need to get a grip, of all the things going on in the world, if this is all you've got to worry about then you are very lucky!

This post can’t be real. If it is real it’s one of the most OTT and ridiculous posts I’ve ever read on Mumsnet.

We arrived at this house 4 hours late, due to a major accident on the road up. We were mortified. The sellers solicitor was really nasty to us on the phone. He wasn’t doing the keys, we’d agreed to do this with the seller at the house. I was SO embarrassed.

Anyway. When we did arrive at 3.30pm the house was still full of sellers stuff, his wife had disappeared. We ended up helping him load his van. It wasn’t big enough so he filled our garage and next doors with their stuff and had to come back 2 days later to collect it.

A friend of mine actually moved into a new house and the previous owners hadn’t emptied one of the bedroom cupboards which contained lots of things including very adult items like vibrators etc. They contacted them and they came to the property in person to collect their stuff.

I'm going with you being very stressed over this move, but regardless you're being very OTT. The buyers won't give a fuck. It's not on what is now their property. Perspective is much needed.

On our moving day half the house was still full of our shit when the new owners arrived and we certainly hadn't cleaned.. Tbh I didn't feel guilty or bad as we'd exchanged and completed on the same day and it had been a mad rush and they also turned out to be arse holes. There's no contractual obligation to have left your house in any condition for new people so I would not be worrying about a bit of furniture.

Also moving into a sparkly clean house is such a plus!

In our old house we kept finding big pubes everywhere for the first year 🤢

So many ridiculous things people are pretending to be stressed and mortified about . It's getting boring now .

Honestly, I doubt that the buyers gave it a second thought, apart from feeling sympathy for you. You arranged everything in good faith and were let down, but still ensured that they had a clean, empty house to move into. You did the best you could under the circumstances.

When I bought my first house., I got there, at the agreed upon time and the house was still full of her stuff, it was everyone else's fault but hers and me and my removal drivers had to wait while she made several trips, at great expense for me because my removal team were charging by the hour. To top it all off, when we got in, she clearly hadn't cleaned for weeks.

You have done nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about.

Have you had one too many housewarming drinks OP?

Yeah look. Moving is stressful but you are being a lot.
It literally doesn’t matter what the people who bought your house think. They are not your friends. They bought your house, and when they arrived it was empty. And clean. There was stuff on the neighbours side of the shared driveway. So what?
So kindly, get a grip. Otherwise life is going to floor you regularly.

I mean you say that, but we used a professional packing and removal company when we last moved and they seriously underestimated how much stuff we had because they didn't look in our (enormous) cupboards. They had to go and more boxes and an extra van and didn't manage to clear our house until 3 hours after when we were supposed to hand over the keys - very stressful!

OP - The house was fully empty, sparkling clean and locked up when the new owners arrived. Therefore you have nothing to worry about, let alone be ashamed for!

OP are you SURE you cleaned and emptied ALL the cupboards?? It may not just have been the driveway you should be mortified about!