To feel so embarrassed and ashamed.

[Lindaful]

We moved house yesterday.

Weeks previous to this a family friend offered us use of his businesses van. I was told it was huge and had done many house moves previously. In addition, he said him and a member of his staff would come and help and that we'd have the van from the night before to load up. We were all packed up days before.

What actually happened, was he didn't come until 9.30 on the day of the move left the van with us and went home. No one additional brought to help. The van was also FAR too small.

Long story short, this resulted in us having to do multiple van loads. The house was fully empty, sparkling clean and locked up when the new owners arrived. But mortifyingly, lots of our stuff was still on our neighbours side of the shared driveway (they offered us use of this space) still waiting to be taken in van loads when the new owners arrived.

Obviously in hindsight there's a million things I wish I'd done, but I can't change what happened. But I feel so full of shame and absolutely sick with embarrassment about what's happened. I feel so upset at what the new owners must think of us and the thought that we ruined their move in experience. I keep crying and I can't take any enjoyment in our new house because it's all I can think about. So, AIBU? And how do I even begin to move on from this?

Have some wine and try to relax. You are making a problem out of thin air as my gran would say.

It’s the Drs of mumsnet. I swear you all just sit around waiting for a thread to tell people to go their gp.

The stress of the house move has got to you. In a couple of weeks, you'll be able to look back on this more philosophically.

Stuff happens when you move house. If anyone should be embarrassed, it's the guy who lent you the van.

I don’t understand the problem at all. When I moved into my house the previous owner was running late, hadn’t had time to clean anything and had to leave his mums sat in an armchair guarding their furniture on the front drive while he did a trip to their new house. Leaving the house clean and empty was all you needed to do (and some people don’t even manage clean)

Serious overreaction. Who cares about that stuff.

Have an early night and embrace your new home in the morning!

I moved house recently and the people who bought my house were so slow moving funds over we didn't get the cash till gone 6 and only then could we move in to our new place in the pissing rain with the removal firm on double time. Whole thing was a nightmare, you are fine.

I doubt they cared at all. There was still a few bits in the garage when we got the keys, the former occupants arrived about an hour later to take them away, we weren't bothered at all. We had a nice chat and wished each other well in our new homes and that was that. I think most reasonable people understand that moving days are hellacious and that timings can go slightly wrong sometimes. It's not like you were in the house on the sofa having a cup of tea!

If the house was empty and sparkling clean, you've nothing to be ashamed of!

Kindly, moving IS stressful, but not THIS stressful. They'll be fine, you'll be fine. Enjoy your new house, and they will enjoy theirs. It's a mishap, a story for the future.

Did you actually see the new owners? Surely this is the situation where you share the stress and any reasonable person would be totally on your side? "We've had a bit of a nightmare with our van, it's far too small so have had to do several trips, we've left our stuff on the drive out of your way, it'll all be gone by the evening." There's nothing to be ashamed of!

Nobody's moving experience is a magical one. I did it with a 4 week old baby and an almost entirely absent DH. It's just something that has to get done.

Are you actually likely to see the people who moved into your old house in the future OP? Most of us don't, so I wouldn't give it another thought.

I've had far worse house moves, and one where the buyers were actually trying to move their stuff in, while we were still moving out, simply because the money had been handed over, and they insisted that it was now THEIR house. I pointed out to them that our stuff was going into storage for a week, so if they insisted on moving their stuff in, whilst ours was still being carried out to the removal truck, then they were likely to find that some of it got packed into our removals van by mistake, and they wouldn't be able to get it back until our stuff came back out of storage. In the end we agreed that they could put stuff in the cupboard under the stairs, but that was it. They were a pain in the posterior from the minute they agreed to purchase though, and clearly had no idea that it takes longer for people in a bigger house to move out than it did for them, who were moving from a tiny flat!

You don't know them and will never see them again. If there's a problem with the guy who's van you used, take it up with him. The rest is irrelevant. You haven't done anything bad to the new owners or the neighbours.
House moves always have a few snags along the way. Just relax and enjoy your new home. X

This is like literally not a big deal at all. Our sellers were still in the house cleaning for an extra 2 hours after we completed. We had to go have lunch and wait for them to leave after we collected the keys. This is really normal and not even a thing anyone would care about.

I once moved in while the previous owner was moving out. Couldn't unpack anything in the kitchen as he was still emptying cupboards. We just got busy in other rooms. It was a minor annoyance and he had been lovely all through the buying process. You didn't delay or inconvenience your buyers at all. Enjoy your new home.

It probably happens a lot. When I moved house it was a 45 degree day. Our sellers were also moving out the same day. However, their removalist collapsed because of the heat and so they were very delayed as he had to be taken to hospital. After we loaded up our truck, went to the shopping centre to wait and stay cool for a few hours. We moved into the house later in the early evening through the front door while the sellers were still moving out through the garage.
They also felt embarrassed and looked pretty stressed. Moving house is in the top 3 stressful events I believe. You will soon forget about that experience. Take care of yourself and go easy. I do remember feeling like it took me a few weeks to feel like myself again.

Could you be upset that you’ve moved? Sad to leave your house behind etc… you sound exhausted bless you… get some sleep. If I was the person moving into your old home I wouldn’t bat an eyelid.

You begin to move on from this by accepting it was annoying to be let down, but you thankfully got the house empty which the number 1 requirement for moving house, you get some flowers sent to your old neighbours to say thanks and you put it to the back of your mind!

Happened to me. Rocked up outside the new house with a big completely full removal van with the keys from the EA. Sellers hadn’t packed a thing and certainly no cleaning had been done. Don’t give it another thought and enjoy your new home.

Please don’t give it a second thought. Moving house is so stressful so I hate to sound like my Nan but I think you just need to have a sit down, a cup of tea and a biscuit! I promise the new owners won’t care.

We bought a property (we were flipping it so not moving in but…..) a full bed pan was left along with a filthy commode. It still makes me gag when I think of it 😳

and CONGRATULATIONS on your new home!

I honestly worry for people when I read threads like this. What a strange over reaction.

Get a grip, honestly.

Yup. Been there!

Who cares? Are you likely to see them again? I left most of my kitchen wear in my old house just completely forgot to pack it. I just went and brought some more didn’t give the new owners a second thought.

I'm assuming you suffer from anxiety? This is a non-event. In my 2 previous house moves we were late getting out with our stuff.

Eh? 🤪