To feel so embarrassed and ashamed.

[Lindaful]

We moved house yesterday.

Weeks previous to this a family friend offered us use of his businesses van. I was told it was huge and had done many house moves previously. In addition, he said him and a member of his staff would come and help and that we'd have the van from the night before to load up. We were all packed up days before.

What actually happened, was he didn't come until 9.30 on the day of the move left the van with us and went home. No one additional brought to help. The van was also FAR too small.

Long story short, this resulted in us having to do multiple van loads. The house was fully empty, sparkling clean and locked up when the new owners arrived. But mortifyingly, lots of our stuff was still on our neighbours side of the shared driveway (they offered us use of this space) still waiting to be taken in van loads when the new owners arrived.

Obviously in hindsight there's a million things I wish I'd done, but I can't change what happened. But I feel so full of shame and absolutely sick with embarrassment about what's happened. I feel so upset at what the new owners must think of us and the thought that we ruined their move in experience. I keep crying and I can't take any enjoyment in our new house because it's all I can think about. So, AIBU? And how do I even begin to move on from this?

Good grief…forget about it! They won’t have given it any headspace for goodness sake move on and enjoy your new home!

Do you worry? Because it sounds like you just want OP to feel stupid or unhinged. Which really isn’t what I’d be trying to make someone feel if I was worried.

You stuff was moved out, what are you on about?!

lol this is the least shameful and embarrassing thing I’ve ever heard of in terms of feeling “embarrassed and ashamed” it’s like aw I’m so embarrassed the tesco deliver man came and I’m sure he seen a duster on the kitchen table 😑😂

What’s the problem? Plenty of people show up to their new houses on completion day with the old owners still moving their stuff out. When I bought my house I even held onto some of their stuff for a few days that they’d not had the chance to move. Never thought of it being shameful!

New people arrived and you still had some stuff outside waiting to be taken away.

How on earth is that anything but a minor and quite common hiccup in a house move?

The over the top dramatics about ai wing so inconsequential indicate there is something else going on with your mental help as your reaction is completely abnormal.

This might make you feel better.

when we got the keys to our house, they were only half done packing, they had a smashed up car on the drive which wasn’t able to be moved until it got towed AND their huge dog bit my partner as we were waiting for them to leave. They left the carpets covered in dog shit which the dog had trod in. We laugh about it now and luckily after the dog bite they left pretty quickly!

Moving is stressful. What you describe is not a big deal, there is no need to keep dwelling on it. Just enjoy your new house!

When I last moved, our buyer was waiting outside in her car, with her removal van parked up, and we were still trying to get our stuff out of the house despite having started really early! I was also trying to clean up the dust and cobwebs behind the furniture but didn't have time so had to leave it. It definitely wasn't sparkling clean! I don't know what the buyer thought but I'm sure she got over it once she'd moved in.

I'm sure everyone has said what needs to be said.

The only person who should be embarrassed is the person who or,I see you everything and delivered nowhere near.

Time to learn to not care what strangers think. It will serve you well.

I can guarantee that in six months time you will be laughing about this and telling all your friends, I know from experience!

When we moved we didn't have a lot of stuff to move, much was still boxed up after our return to the UK a year earlier. We booked a large van with a tail lift for 24 hours, the move wasn't far, when we went to pick it up it wasn't available and they gave us a smaller one for the whole weekend. It was lashing with rain on moving day, we packed the van and went to the estate agent to collect the keys, they weren't available and the person who could release them had gone to lunch. We went back an hour later, he'd decided to go home and wouldn't be back until Monday! I sat down on the middle of the office wringing wet and refused to move, eventually they released them. It took about 6 runs with the van, we were totally shattered, wet through and I recall going to collect the children from my mother's house and bursting into tears. Even after all that, we managed to laugh about it, eventually.
You'll be fine, good luck in your new home.

Moving house is super stressful. Having to think on your feet like that when something goes wrong is harsh. The people moving in didn't care OPz your old neighbours were happy to help.

The person who dropped you in the shit isn't someone you can take help from again.

I’ve moved many times, and something always goes wrong, usually something to do with the removal. It’s over now, take a deep breath and enjoy your new house.

I know moving is stressful but move on now. It really doesn't matter now. Let it go.
Embarrassed and ashamed? was there a pile of pornographic magazines and a soiled mattress?
I'm sure everyone was just too tired and stressed to care.

How do you feel about the Sistine chapel, OP….?

If it helps op, I had a horrible move where we got cheap movers off gumtree. They were supposed to come at 10, eventually came at 3, having done another full house move already. The van was also tiny and they had to make a million trips. They were exhausted and increasingly angry, just dumping stuff down. We had to tell the new family they couldn’t get in yet. By 11pm they were still not finished and there was a giant wardrobe upstairs that they were refusing to move. My DH was pleading for help as he couldn’t do it alone, they relented but were so angry and basically took massive gouges out of the stairway walls on the way down, and smashed the glass on the wardrobe door.

At 1am I was there picking up shards of glass and crying in exhaustion and embarrassment. Luckily the buyers were amazingly understanding and we just paid them for the damage. So things could be worse op!! I cringe when I think of it but what could I do. Always pay for proper movers is my lesson painfully learnt. If I ever move again!

Right, buckle up for some amateur armchair psychology from me - I think you're anxious about moving house (it is very anxious making) and you are projecting your anxiety on to this issue with your stuff being in the driveway.

It is not a big deal at all. You most likely won't see the new owners ever again anyway.

My last sellers were s l o w l y still moving their stuff out when my proper sized van arrived. They had a too small van and useless helpers so also did multiple trips, the helpers just sat on their arses waiting for the van to return instead of getting the next load ready. . In the end MY movers were shifting their stuff into the front garden so they could get my stuff in. And the house wasn’t particularly clean either.

OP, you did everything you could to get out of your buyers way.No need to feel embarrassed at all.

years ago we had the house move fro hell kept getting date cancelled. then on day we got to the new house they still had pictures on the walls we were fuming, we emptied our stuff into our van out of boxes went in the house and rough packed their stuff, mad was not the word,, they left the lodft and shed for a week, you got it easy,, relax you are moved now.

You were out of the property and left it spotless, more than some do.
The day we were meant to get the keys to our new house we arrived to meet the EA and the previous owners tenants were still there eating breakfast and hadn’t packed a single thing. Said they didn’t have anywhere to move to 😳 Didn’t help that they didn’t speak a word of English. Our solicitors said they wouldn’t exchange until they were gone, the owner was saying g if we didn’t exchange he’d pull out. Was very stressful.
Eventually the owner arrived with his wife and brother, another person from the EA arrived and they personally packed them up and had to find them a rental elsewhere.
Needless to say nothing had been cleaned and the house smelled strangely of pickles 🤷🏻‍♀️

Did I just read this?
What are people on these days.
This and the
' my partner called a wasp a moron' Thread.
Ya people need a head wobble.
Jeez.

Best post ever!

Ah bless you. After busting a gut to clean our house and leave a tended garden we have just moved into the dirtiest house ever. The bathroom tiles are a totally different shade of colour once cleaned! Poo all over. Our sellers should be embarrassed. Your buyers will be thrilled you cleaned. YOU have nothing to be worried about.

Dont feel bad about this. As far as they’re thinking about this at all, it’s probably with empathy that your plans fell through.

They were probably far more focussed on finding the kettle and getting the Internet set up!

I keep crying and I can't take any enjoyment in our new house because it's all I can think about. So, AIBU? And how do I even begin to move on from this?

If you are serious when you say this, then you need to see someone who can help you. This is not normal behaviour.

And how do I even begin to move on from this?

By having a word with yourself and not being a drama llama. What a fuss about nothing.