To laugh at the request to be godparents

[Woollypullover]

My friend's daughter, who we've been very close to throughout her life, has asked me and DH to be her baby's godparents.

We're both atheists and of course, therefore, didn't have our own DC christened.

She knows all of this, but still asked.

AIBU to think this is a ridiculous request?

It's not really a religious thing anymore, just the name has stuck. What it means is, will you value their baby, want to see them, be there for them. Nothing to laugh at.

You can decline graciously saying that religion isn't your thing but to laugh is just rude. She obviously has respect for you and thinks you would be a positive influence on her child's life to have asked you and it seems churlish to make a mockery of her beliefs.

It's not because they value your friendship, bit you're absolutely right not to take the spiritual commitment lightly and the right thing would be to tell them you're happy to be honorary godparents but not take vows of faith.
That would be dishonest and disrespectful to the church.

I declined my sister for these exact reasons. She understood. I’m still her DD’s very devoted aunty 30 years later.

To laugh at this would be horrible.
You can ask them what in fact their expectations of godparents are, it might turn out to be a non-religious role to them that they are just using the word for.
Or you can politely decline, thanking them for asking you and saying that you're touched by the thought that they would presumably value you in their child's life.
But don't laugh. Please.

Laughing would be rude, just say to them “thanks for the kind offer but as an atheist it isn’t something I would feel comfy with”

Your message is really quite unpleasant op. Your daughter’s friend obviously values her relationship with you and looks up you enough to ask you to do this.

You can graciously decline but don’t laugh at her.

I certainly won't accept any title that refers to 'god' - that would be a nonsense.

She knows that we'll be there for the baby (we already are).

Just say no thanks, but don't act like a sniggering dickhead about it. There's nothing less attractive than being that person who laughs at people's beliefs because they're way too clever to think the same way

But yanbu for declining. IIRC godparents have to renounce Satan in church etc. If you can't bring yourself to do that (totally get it), don't do it

That’s the sort of request usually made in person. So… did you laugh in their faces? Or did you decline graciously?

You don’t actually have to be religious to be godparents, I think as long as one person they ask is. But I wouldn’t do it either because I’m not going to promise to raise them and teach them all about being a good Christian and I wouldn’t support their religion so I wouldn’t do it. It’s stupid if they’re asking just for the whole “be a fake aunt” type thing.

If you literally laughed in her face, as opposed to declining politely (which by far seems the most likely scenario, no one is that ignorant), that really says a lot more about you than her.

You can decline. To laugh is just rude and condescending.

This young woman has been close to you all her life, has now had a baby whom she’s obviously proud of and she values your relationship so much that she wants you to be involved in her child’s life in the formal way that being a godparent means. It’s very sad that you find that to be ridiculous. Most Christian denominations are used to this dilemma and can find a work around. At the very least, please acknowledge the honour that she has given you.

Well just say no thank you. She asked because she obviously thinks you're a good person. You don't need to be a cock about it.

The title of this comes across as harsh. Your friend is saying that she trusts you implicitly with her child, so much so that in the event of anything awful happening she would want you to step in and parent them.
Regardless of religion you should feel honoured that she trusts you so much. If they are expecting some kind of religious input then of course you can politely decline but don’t laugh

The fact that we've gladly babysat and helped her out regularly with the baby shows that she trusts us. Giving us a daft title doesn't.

Btw, neither she or her DH are religious, but for some reason for married in a church and are planning a christening.

She's been explicit and not being a Christian, several times

If she's not a Christian she shouldn't have her baby christened.

One of my friends is godmother to four children (all from different families) and doesn't believe in god herself. She's happy to say the words (and renounce Satan and all his works, to the amusement of many) because she feels the important part is being in a mentor role for the child; someone they can talk to when they need an adult who isn't a parent.

Another of my friends is Jewish but godmother to a CofE family's child.

I choose not to because I don't like making vows I can't live by, but that's my pedantry.

I chose mentors for my children rather than godparents, but the kids use the term interchangeably themselves.

It’s daft to you.

You can feel the title isn’t something you want. You can feel it would be daft to apply it to you.

It’s obviously not daft to her.

I am not religious at all. But I really don’t get why you feel the need to be so sneery about someone you, apparently, love. Or about something that is important to a lot of people.

Be an atheist. Don’t be so judgmental of people who aren’t.

Obviously it's daft to me. I'm expressing my opinions, not someone else's.

I’d be pretty peeved at the lack of respect for your beliefs…especially given they are not religious and this is all some performance. In your shoes I would politely decline, while saying less polite things to myself in my head!

But that’s not what you said.

You said the title itself was daft.

its obviously not to her. So no need to be rude about it.

Yes, it's bizarre how belief in a fictional, malevolent character trumps anything else.

I wouldn't laugh at them, you know that won't go down well. Your reasons for saying no make perfect sense though. If you're not religious surely a humanist naming ceremony makes more sense. The promises made at a Christening service are, well, very Christian.