To laugh at the request to be godparents

[Woollypullover]

My friend's daughter, who we've been very close to throughout her life, has asked me and DH to be her baby's godparents.

We're both atheists and of course, therefore, didn't have our own DC christened.

She knows all of this, but still asked.

AIBU to think this is a ridiculous request?

Agree. There's atheism (I'm not religious either) and there's...well, the op.

TBF though the op's friend must know what she's like by now and still wants her in her kid's life, so she maybe doesn't mind. No accounting for taste 🤷‍♀️

I agree. Hopefully she’ll rethink if you genuinely laughed.

Op do you think all people with religious faith are stupid?

Do you realise how arrogant and bitchy you sound?

You sound absolutely not someone I'd want around my kids. And we are friends with people of various faiths and none. It's not the fact you're an atheist, it's the fact you're scornful and mocking about religious traditions.

I agree with @Negroany

YWBVU to laugh. The idea of godparents has very little to do with god these days, from what I understand it means that you essentially commit to caring for the child in question if the parents die. Friends of mine, a couple, both atheists, asked me, also an atheist, to be their children's godmother. I accepted because it was a lovely gesture on their part. Your friends are trying to indicate to you how special you are to them and how much trust they have in you. I can imagine they would be deeply offended if you declined.

I’ve heard the term “guide parents” used a lot for a non-religious version of “god parents”.

We did the same when our niece was born, at the time we were not church going and didn't feel we could make the promises at the font. My mother was furious because 'our side' wouldn't be represented!

I mean, you'd really be there to buy cool presents. It would be totally fine to say that you won't take any religious vows.

Have you always been a bit too cool for school?

I'd try not to laugh because it is an honour but it also demonstrates that they've not thought very deeply about what this means for the baby etc. I guess you could say that if it was a baby naming ceremony you'd be all over it but you wouldn't want everyone to look like completely hypocrites and therefore make a mockery of a religious ceremony.

This - I’m not religious but laughing at people because they have different beliefs just sounds unpleasant. Lucky escape I think!

It isn't clear whether you have responded to the person yet - hopefully you didn't actually laugh at her if so.

Whether you think it is ridiculous or not, she is probably asking you to try and show you how much you mean to her and her child and it might mean a lot to her so if/when you do say no, be gentle.

This post comes across goady. Laugh if you want to, but you wouldn't still be my friend if you did.

'Godparent' doesn't mean what it used to any more. It's possible they're asking if you'll be the one to look after the baby if anything happens to them. Even if they do mean it as a 'spiritual guide' isn't it a good thing your friends respect your beliefs and judgement enough to want you to teach their child about religion from another perspective?

I am not religious, but I would be flattered by their request and would go through the ceremony if my friends wanted that kind of ceremony. It wouldn't matter to me.

Actually, another thought...do you have to promise to protect the child's religious education or something? If so, I don't think I could do that. I think I understand where you're coming from. Are your friends trying to convert you or something?

I'd find it really weird to be asked, as an atheist, because you have to promise to lead the kiddie in religious faith and all that. I wouldn't want to stand in front of a load of people and promise utter tosh I don't believe in and don't agree with.

I'd be happy to do a secular equivalent or to be nominated as potential guardian if the worst happened, but godparent, nope.

I don't think godparent means someone who will look after the baby if the parents die.

They should do that in their will.

If it's a church ceremony of baptism then it has a lot to do with God, the GPs are required to make certain statements and if they are atheists then it would be hypocritical.

You don’t sound very pleasant. Surely you can explain your reasons to her without using language like ‘ridiculous’?

Could be something to do with a pre preparation for schooling in years to come. Some schools prioritise or only accept baptised children, even now. Not that many, but some, and if the school has a good reputation, it possibly is for thinking on their part.

It's not difficult to just say "Thank you for offering me the role of godparent but as I am an atheist I don't feel I am the right person to take a vow to lead your child in the belief of the church." Mocking your friends daughter by creating a thread with that title is rude. Many many people get asked to be godparent as a symbol of respect and adoration for that person. Many christen their children out of tradition rather than faith

Why are they having a christening in a church if they are atheists?
They sound like hypocrites, which you clearly aren't. However, you come across as a rather judgemental and sneery person. You are not better than someone who has a faith. The way you talk about people with a faith says a lot about you.

Why don't they have a naming ceremony instead if they want a party and gifts?

I can kind of understand where you're coming from OP. It's as if after all these years she's not taken a blind bit of notice of what you stand for. Still, I guess it's really nice that your her fav people.

Bit mean to laugh at someone who obviously respects you and trusts you to take care of their baby's interests, yep.

neither she or her DH are religious, but for some reason for married in a church and are planning a christening.
She's been explicit and not being a Christian, several times'
We're both atheists
YANBU

Isn’t it code for “look after my kids if I die” for the non-religious?

I know a lot of my friends and family are atheist too but none of them are so obnoxious about it. You say you're just talking about your own beliefs, yet think it entirely reasonable to throw around the "make believe" comments. Atheism is lack of belief in religious theology of any kind, so given you've already told everyone your lack of belief it's unclear why you feel the need to then stomp all over other people's faith. The people who shout the loudest tend to be the ones with the least conviction in their own rantings. I'd wager the same applies here. If you were truly at peace with your lack of belief you wouldn't need to tell everyone and wouldn't need to belittle other people to back it up.