To laugh at the request to be godparents

[Woollypullover]

My friend's daughter, who we've been very close to throughout her life, has asked me and DH to be her baby's godparents.

We're both atheists and of course, therefore, didn't have our own DC christened.

She knows all of this, but still asked.

AIBU to think this is a ridiculous request?

Surely those of us who would decline as we do not believe are actually respecting other's religious beliefs?

We don't want to make a mockery of the church and others believes by standing their and lying that we believe and will encourage the child to believe.

Saying you are happy to lie in church seems more of a mockery.

(Now if church's are happy for no vows to be made and god not to be mentioned in a christening -well I have never attended a christening like that before -all had vows about god being made by godparents)

It shouldn't be. That should be in your will.

Daft title? Wow,you aren't very nice,are you? It's a Christian tradition,it means a lot to a lot of people,actually.

Declining isn't the disrespectful part

I think most atheists are laughing internally, sometimes gently and sometimes not, at their religious friends and their crazy beliefs.

The Church of England says:

Godparents are among the most important people at a christening, who make big promises to encourage their godchild to grow in faith and commit to helping them understand how to live their life in a Christian way.

You'd be a massive hypocrite to agree to do that if you were an atheist. And you'd be pretty dim to ask an atheist to do that for your child if you believe their eternal life beyond their death is at stake dependent on how they lived their life.

I’m an atheist.
i also had a church blessing for my wedding, both my children were baptised and have 2 godparents each, and I’m a proud godmother to 2 kids, one of whose Dad has a religion-based job.
Some people might call me a hypocrite but I think the Anglican Church is part of British history & culture and and I think it’s possible to support it and some of its values without being signed up to the whole shebang.

Unless one is being pedantic, what the term "godparent" normally means nowadays is a person special to the parents who they want to play a role in their child's life. I thought some religions nowadays - certainly Church of England - make accommodation for non-religious mentors/sponsors in the service, although they still require 2/3 baptised godparents.

Yes.

Going along with it and saying you'll guide the child in Christ or whatever, while everyone knows you're not going to and you have no intention of doing so, is surely more disrespectful to believers than saying no.

I doubt OP is actually going to laugh and point at her friend like Nelson out of the Simpsons.

Just behind her back on the Internet which is totally fine

Jesus, I'm not sure not wanting to be a godparent when you don't believe in god is being pedantic.

You sound so immature and culturally insensitive. Acknowledging other beliefs isn’t a lack of intelligence or a sign of weakness, rather the opposite.

There is that 😂

She isn't being asked to acknowledge other beliefs, she's being asked to participate in them.

For an atheist, being a godparent doesn't mean "acknowledging someone's belief", it means encouraging someone (a child) to commit to a belief that you don't believe is true.

Reading the OP's posts, it appears both parties have discussed the fact that they are both atheists previously. So the whole request is pretty hypocritical and is actually really insensitive to the OP's beliefs.

Yes, of course YABU to laugh at this person. She may not be massively religious but it means something to her enough to want to put guardians in place for her child should something happen to her. Whether religion comes into it or not it’s rude to laugh, especially if you do it in front of her.
You should feel honoured but instead you are making this about you and your beliefs. If it were me I’d revoke the offer… 😬

I think it's sad that a child's baptism is based partly on a lie.... If you'd spoken to the priest s/he would probably have offered for the non-baptised person to be a sponsor, still able to take a full part in the ceremony.

I fully agree with you, OP. If it helps soften the blow to your friends, you need to be christened yourself in order to be a godparent. (Or at least that's what I was told - happy to be corrected).
It also comes to mind that even if you are, you could say you weren't, to avoid the hassle.

I’m with you on this OP.

I’ve declined twice. One ceremony required me to say “in times of trouble I turn to Jesus”. I said I could say in times of trouble I turn to chocolate, but that wasn’t an option.

People aren't criticising op for declining.

People are criticising op for being rude and scornful, clearly thinking she's much better than her friend, and all religious people in general. This is the definition of arrogant, and it ain't pretty.

A friend of a dd, from an Eastern European country, asked her to be a godparent to her baby.
Dd explained that she wasn’t remotely religious, and hadn’t even been christened.

’Oh, that won’t matter!’

So dd did it anyway, and at the ‘do’ afterwards, told the officiating (Eastern Orthodox) priest the same.
He wasn’t remotely bothered, either!

Actually it comes with a whole load of connotations! Lying at a baptism (by making vows you don't believe and have no intention of keeping) is like (some would say worse than) lying in a court of law. If you don't mean any of it, don't say it and don't be a godparent!

I'm an atheist and a godparent twice over.
Performative holier-than-thou atheism is just as bad as evangelism IMO.

We live in a Christian country - it's perfectly normal to want to reflect heritage and culture in your personal lives and practices regardless of personal belief.

She may not be massively religious but it means something to her enough to want to put guardians in place for her child should something happen to her.

That is absolutely not what being a godparent is about @LL1991
A godparent's role is to spiritually guide their godchild.

If the parents want a legal guardian for their child in case anything happens to them that needs to be worded in a will.

It has nothing to do with being a godparent.

We don't live in a Christian country any more, according to the UK census. Most people aren't Christians, although of course we have a historically Christian culture.

I think it's much more disrespectful to religious people to pretend to play along with the thing they value most in the world.