To laugh at the request to be godparents

[Woollypullover]

My friend's daughter, who we've been very close to throughout her life, has asked me and DH to be her baby's godparents.

We're both atheists and of course, therefore, didn't have our own DC christened.

She knows all of this, but still asked.

AIBU to think this is a ridiculous request?

Non denominational spiritual guide?

I am an atheist god parent. Kid doesn't seem bothered. The word "god" doesn't offend me because it's just a word to me. I held a candle at the christening. Wasn't struck down.

Close to her all of her life but quick to mock her choices on the internet. With friends like you.... 🙄

YANBU to decline to be Godparents. YABVU to be so judgemental and derisive about it.

The decision to get their child christened has nothing to do with you. One friend christened both of her children when one of them was gravely ill. Another did it to gain access to Sunday school as she had such happy lasting memories of going when she was a child herself. Unless the church demands regular attendance and outspoken religious beliefs from the parents before the child has arrived, they are not doing anything wrong.

Agreed I'd privately laugh at such a request as an atheist .

It's making a mockery of the church and people who do believe if you do accept and basically lie in church during a ceremony.

My dc are christened because it is important to my mum. And one of their godparents isn't christened we just didn't tell the vicar.

Will you go to the christening? If so you'll be invited to say you'll support the family raising the child (I can't remember the exact words, but everyone choruses We Will). If you'll do that to be polite, I don't think it's a massive additional step to be a godparent. Unless you are strongly against renouncing the devil 😁

Wow. What a charmer. You politely decline and explain why, not laugh at someone you call friend.

keep it classy op.

Yes it is. A christening is religious, that’s the point of it. If you’re not religious you shouldn’t be having a Christening!

They're asking you to be an important person in their child's life. Calling it 'godparents' has just stuck. YABU for laughing at them, and clearly you're not the right person for the job if you're laughing.

I have been to christening's (as a guest) and never repeat those parts of the service as it would not be at all true.

I wouldn't because I would feel hypocritical making vows in a church to a god I don't believe in. I'm not baptised, we did not get married in church and when I pop my clogs it will be a quick cremation. I would say that, while recognizing it's an honour to be asked, I would respectfully decline as I have no faith. But I wouldn't expect atheists to ask me either.

Imagine asking someone you thinks is a good friend, and they start a thread slagging you off and wanting to laugh at you.

Before I became a godparent, I was asked to attend a short course outlining the obligations involved. I complied, and it caused some mild amusement when I appeared in some of the PowerPoint images showing aspects of church life: I was in the choir, taught Sunday School and was an altar server.
Do your friends realise that the church where the christening will take place might want to contact the godparents in a similar way before the service?
Or am I an old cynic, wondering if "on your knees to save the fees" is coming into play?
Popular church primaries can be a bit sniffy about families belatedly getting little ones baptized just before Reception, so canny parents may play the long game.
The important thing is that you love and support their child, but let them down gently.

They probably thought they were showing you how much you meant to them by asking you, it's usually seen as an honour.

I hope you didn't laugh in their faces.

I didn't "basically lie". The vicar knew I wasn't a believer and we agreed my role and what I would say. It was all fine, no fuss.

Not at all ridiculous. It’s more just an honour parents give to some friends who are special to them. It tends not to come with any connotations, religious or otherwise. You can fulfil the role how you please - I’ve found it easier to be a godparent as they get older- for example a trip to the ballet at Christmas. One is now 15 and I have her for dinner sometimes - hoping to just be another constant adult in their lives to be a sounding board etc. Take it too literally and you’re the one being ridiculous - it’s a lovely gesture.

No lots of people ask more out of tradition rather than deep faith. If you feel you don’t want to do it you could politely explain - laughing at them sounds nasty if it’s something that they value. I think some people like to ask friends as they feel it gives them a formal role but again letting them know nicely that you don’t want it feels like the way to go! On the plus side laughing at them probably means they won’t ask you to be too involved in the future so solves your problem!

☝️

Also, our children were all christened, mostly out of tradition than religion. We even have a Jewish “godparent”. There are different words you can choose to say - churches are very open these days.

'Spiritual guide' 🤣 We're here for the baby and she knows it goes without saying.

You sound really unpleasant and judgemental, I wouldn't want you involved in the life of anyone I know.

You laughed when she asked you? You sound delightful.

You sound terribly immature

ridiculous they’re having a christening or godparents then. Just say no thank you. And maybe point out you aren’t Christian and therefore it would be disingenuous…they’re clearly just doing it for the presents and instagram photos of

A good try OP...being sneering and confrontational at so many of the responses.

Lots of children have "secular" godparents who have nothing to do with the Christian side of things.

Laughing at the idea is just rude. It's fine to say something like "as an atheist I couldn't possibly participate in any religious ceremony or say the Christian vows that make the godparent relationship official for the church, but I'm happy to commit to you that we'll be actively involved in (name)'s life just as much and you're welcome to refer to us as godparents if there isn't a similar word that doesn't have the word god in it."