People Cancelling Last Minute!!

[Aquarius1234]

Thoughts on people cancelling plans last minute ??
Eg on the day or literally with 20 mins before you need to leave the house.
I had booked tickets for something involving train journey.
I'm now going alone.
My so called mate cancelled last minute.
It still shocked me as it was 15 mins before I needed to leave.
Said mate I hadn't seen in ages and ages and was curious whether the same pattern would happen again!!
Fuming.
I've sent lots of message but non read so obv avoiding looking!!
I thought I'd try a new tactics by going through my journey and day to spite him ?
I have also said I think you just couldn't be bothered also and it's it strange your not responding to my messages when your the one that cancelled ?
I'd normally not be able to relax all day knowing if id cancelled. ( gulit) .
I would ok with a couple of texts. This was a long pathetic message and no reply. So it would not have mattered if I just didn't read the message.
It's like they have turned their phone off.
Rude! They say due to anxiety not liking busy places.
But surely my anxiety and stress levels through the roof now by letting this happen again?
I wouldn't have sent loads of messages if I wasnt bothered and stressed.

Thank you.
What do you mean wrong to let you do stuff.. ?

Thanks.
I was in the theatre when these replies were coming through.

Thanks. Yes lonely to give more chances.
As I don't know people to do this stuff with.

Yes in London. I have joined a few..but I live in Kent so not sure if if be seen as crazy to keep travelling 70 miles back and forth.
Also most are in evening and I'm not keen travelling alone through London late unless with a proper friend.
I have gone solo the odd time this year tho.

Thank you. Perhaps finding honest people is beyond rare these days.

It wouldn't matter as they would never turn up.
I feel sorry for the future friend or any partners they may have.
Doubtful as it would involve effort.

You sound pretty intense op.

Maybe just let them go?

Do you fancy him?
Just forget him.
Try and join female hobby groups.

Very rude to cancel so late on, especially as you had no chance to invite someone else. He should be paying you for the ticket. I hate flakey people. We all know someone like this. If i have arranged to meet someone, i go, unless very unwell. Probably why I have lots of friends, as I value them and know how annoying it is when people cancel on the day.

Have you asked them to pay you back. I would.

You really don't understand how bad anxiety can be.

Hopefully your former friend has other more understanding, supportive people in his life who understand how debilitating it can be

I had exactly this yesterday. I was angry and disappointed at the time, but this morning I'd calmed down and taken into account that friend is really struggling with her mental health at the moment, and feel a bit mean about sending a slightly arsey response when I was cross. And it's not her fault that I was at a work thing that meant I couldn't check my messages for a large chunk of the day.

Shit happens, and tomorrow I'll apologise for my response.

No point asking if she fancies him. She's ignored all questions along those lines. Also ignored the question as to whether this is one of the men she has met on online dating who were apparently looking for "friends only". On another thread she talks about using online dating to find friends, not to start relationships.
It's totally blurring boundaries and it's no wonder things go pear-shaped.

Oh dear.
I guess only she can tell us why she's playing these games.

No chance of that.

I answered on last page....

No we met years ago via a Internet forum.
Dating was never going to happen. I'm 8/ 9 years older. And back then it seemed a lot. Totally platonic.
We had similar interests via the forum. Then realised we lived in same county.
Anyway people don't change. Sometimes you think as years pass people might mature and be more reliable.

I did when they decided to cut all ties in 2023 ghosted. I thought he had blocked me. Obviously has now.

His nickname isn't Reindeer is it?

😂😂😂

I blocked and deleted their numbers last night.
As PP said it was one time too many.
I don't feel upset weirdly as its been so long since we were meeting before all the cancelling started.
I just wish I hadn't given them another chance and had to go through all the drama yesterday alone.

Take a deep breath and consider not being the source of so much drama in the future.

I'm with you @Aquarius1234. I don't forgive easily when people flake last minute without a GENUINE apology. I leave them without a response so the anxiety sits with them - wondering about my response (rather, lack of) and then let them chase me with the apology. I cannot move on without an apology - in person. Friendships need to be respected and valued or they can be lost.

Thank you. I probably did that last time.
Turning your phone off after cancelling is so teenage.
What if I was in trouble or there was an issue..ah well

Hi op,

I am sorry but that person isn’t your friend or it doesn’t look like it.

It doesn’t look like you are their friend either tbh…with your tactics…

You both should not make anymore plans together.