Child free people-Why do *Some people who are parents get annoyed at them?

[Theycantallbecomspiracytheories]

I notice it quite a lot and recently saw it in a video Seth Rogen (?) forgot his name did where he talked about him and his wife/partner being happy to never have kids. So many in the comments were pissed off with him.
I have a young Dd after years of trying, but also as much as I love kids, I was always quite unsure about having kids as Dh and I had a fantastic life living abroad-lots of travel, time to relax, no real responsibilities-yes a job and mortgage but 🤷🏻‍♀️ money to ourselves, much less stressful & tiring, it was amazing! I can see why people want to keep it like that. I adore my Dd and life is great now, in a different way, but I can totally see how some would choose a child free life. Why do some parents get annoyed with these people and seem to sort of take it personally that they don’t want the same life?

Wait til you find out there's a childfree space here on MN.

Oh the horror!

I'm not sure what part of the post you disagreed with, I can only make assumptions about why some parents feel threatened by the childfree, because there is no logical reason to feel that way, but some obviously do. And when you've got posters on this very thread saying having kids is a biological imperative it does make it seem that it's more instinct than anything else. I don't think I ever lumped all parents together I'm talking about the type of parents who the OP is talking about.

Definitely! I never wanted children. They play no part in my life and that suits me perfectly.

You wont understand if you dont have kids yourself. I dont annoyed with child free people but i’m bit pity them, because they will never experience the greatest love in the world. Sorry if this post trigger or upsetting anyone. Its just my point of view

This is on the childfree board bingo card, along with ‘why are you on MN’, ‘you’ll regret it when you’re older’, ‘childfree women are selfish / unfulfilled / secretly wishing they had kids’ and ‘you’ll die alone with nobody to put your bins out’.

It's a resounding example of how rooted in sexism the whole thing is, too. Does anyone ever say that sort of shit to men? No, it's women who are supposed to be having children, who are Failing Womaning if we choose not to, and will be punished one way or another.

It's just another way for people to criticise women.

I've had shitty comments when child free - 'you never know love like it!'

I've actually had worse comments after having a child - is it awful? Do you regret having your son? You've aged! I bet you hate it don't you? Etc.'

It's a small annoying minority on both sides.

🤦🏼‍♀️ ….

Society pretty much does tell women that they need children.

Some women and men know they don't need children. Chris Packham when asked why he didn't have children replied, 'Because I didn't need to'. That's a good enough answer.

I didn't need children. I only had one life and I didn't want them. I wasn't going to sacrifice my entire life doing something I actively didn't want to to ensure the birth rate didn't plummet.

I genuinely don't care if the birth rate plummets and, when I look around at the state we are in and the mess we've made of this world and the environment I think a plummeting human birth rate would be an excellent thing.

Society pretty much does tell women that they need children.

Which is stupid. If you ‘need’ children you’ll presumably feel that need & take steps to have them, if you can.

I'm really glad for you that you have this amazing singular love for your child, but I think it's a shame your world view is so narrow that you can't imagine other people not having the same emotional responses as you.

You only need to watch the news (or frankly, skim the relationships board on here!) to see that not everyone gets that experience of parenthood... I think you'd be better off reserving your pity for the parents who have had kids and don't love them like you love yours, or more importantly - save your pity for the kids of those parents!

I dont annoyed with child free people but i’m bit pity them, because they will never experience the greatest love in the world.

Don't waste your pity on the electively child free @Femme2804 . We are honestly having the best time. What's the greatest love in the world to one person is another persons unbearable and thankless tie.

I do know exactly what you mean as some people with children do seem to be inexplicably annoyed by people who choose to have children and that’s something I just can’t really get my head around. Personally the only time I’ve been annoyed by comments is when someone who is child free makes weirdly smug comments like;
’oh I’m so glad I can do what I want’ which always annoyed me because I didn’t say they should do any different and I am doing what I want, I wanted children and now I have children and I’m happy with my choice
’I wouldn’t want to bring a child into this awful world’ well, okay? And you haven’t, but by saying that it implies that those of us who have are selfish or stupid or something
It is only a few who’ve made comments like that to be fair, although one acquaintance in particular seems determined to snipe and bitch every time I see her.
Ultimately the world would be better all round if people just made their choices and shut up about other peoples.

of course i’m pity them. I’m acting of my pity not only talk. Forget to mentioned i’m also a foster parents for 10 years old plus. Been foster parents for 3 years now. I’m here to give my opinion about childfree not about parents who dont deserve to have a child.

But it's a bit weird to pity people for not having something they don't want?

And maybe these people who "don't deserve to have a child" (as you put it) didn't want kids at all and people like you telling them they'd never experience the greatest love in the world is why they had kids, even though they didn't think they wanted them?

Rather than pitying them, maybe you should be happy that they're confident in their choices.

I pity people who can’t possibly imagine that other people make perfectly valid and enjoyable life choices that don’t involve children.

@Femme2804 I just don't understand the rationale behind pitying someone for not having something that they don't actually want to have!

We don’t know what we’re missing, you see.

Yeah it's weird isn't it! The only reason I can think of is insecurity in their own decisions and choices which means it gives them some relief to assume others are missing out.

Also lack of imagination.

I can look at someone with kids & be deeply thankful it’s them not me, but that doesn’t mean I pity them. I assume they’re happy with their choices.

It's even more fun being child free in a child centred job! I am a primary teacher and was told once that I will never be a good teacher until I have children of my own.
I have various reasons why I have not had my own children but I spend the bulk of my time surrounded by them. Sometimes parents are surprised to hear I don't have children but they often give that wry smile when I say after a day at school I like to go home to my child free house!

This. I’m happily married but I’m not arrogant enough to pity those who are single or think they actually want my life.

I don't think anyone should have children unless they want them.
However, I do think that it's everyone's responsibility to contribute to giving children a positive start in life, considering we'll all rely on them one day.
And I get annoyed when people think that they deserve for public spaces to be child-free because they don't like children.
Child-free and hostile to children are different things. Lots of child-free people manage to still be lovely to children and not go around ranting about what an imposition it is to have to pay taxes towards education and subsidised childcare and to have to put up with children in society.
I have no idea if Seth Rogen did this.

Child-free and hostile to children are different things. Lots of child-free people manage to still be lovely to children and not go around ranting about what an imposition it is to have to pay taxes towards education and subsidised childcare and to have to put up with children in society.

I don”t know any childfree people who do this. Most of us are happy to contribute our taxes to the education, health and welfare of children. What annoys us is the “our children will be paying your pensions/wiping your arse when you’re old” comments, as though we are social freeloaders by not having children.

By the way I do think adult only spaces should b3 available to those who want them. .

It depends on the type of space. I think it’s completely reasonable for restaurants & pubs to be over 16s only after a certain time.

By the way I do think adult only spaces should b3 available to those who want them. .

I agree, and actually we were discussing this at work the other day and a lot of parents said they’d like adult only spaces to use when they don’t have the kids with them.