To wonder how you cope with aging?

[Newname85]

I am 43. Perimenopausal - with all the bells and whistles. My skin looks/feels thin, dry and lacklustre. I’m losing a lot of hair, also have lots of grey hair esp in the front.

How do you cope with all this, with getting old?

You think you're pretty lucky considering the alternative:)

There are hopefully some consolations...

I know it’s a bit of a shock OP, especially if changes happen quite quickly (they have with me: bereavement + perimenopause had me looking ten years older almost overnight 😱) The good news is that I seem to have plateaued a bit now, so I have time to get used to my new old face. I don’t love it, but as PPs say, the alternative is to die young, and I’d rather stick around a while longer.

Not sure how I feel about it really - I've just turned 40 and I feel pretty good still. I'm aware that menopause in the next few years could change all that. Happy to be feeling good, and aware it can change quickly.

I cope with it by acknowledging that I'm lucky to be here and be healthy, some people die young. I'm grateful to be here.

But I also know that I'm vain and will probably do a certain amount to fight it visible signs of ageing; I already dye my hair because I went grey quite young, I keep in shape by working out, I have a skincare routine, I like nice clothes, and in the future I will look into some tweaking like botox, or even surgery including a facelift if I need one (jowls run in my family).

Obviously everyone is different, I think you just do what you can. The way I feel is, life is tough, do what you can to feel good.

I'm 53 and I try and focus on physical and mental health for longevity. So, hrt was a game changer for me. Also trying to be active, eat well, find purpose and enjoyment in life.

This. It's better than the alternative. The difference between 40 and 50 for me was staggering, I don't want to say brace yourself, but, brace yourself. Unless you're going to go full on Joan Rivers, it's what's between your ears that will stand you in the best stead, and building and maintaining strength.

Timely and correct dosage of HRT including testosterone a game changer for me.

One just puts one step in front of the other.
Ultimately it’s something everyone has to deal with, but unfortunately it happens to most ppl. Just do it on a day to day basis.
Remember, you never know what is round the next corner.
My DP spent weeks last year in Intensive Care, totally unexpected.
One just to have appreciate the more positive aspects of life.

I’m the same age as you and I absolutely hate it. But I mean what can you do? You just have to keep plodding on. Look in the mirror less. 🤷‍♀️😆

I try to keep fit. I go swimming and take the dog out. Boots sells various hair supplements they seem to work for me. I using more expensive brands of facial cream, again from Boots. Also trying to eat more sensibly. And just accepting I can't whizz through the day in a way I used to be able to

How do you cope with all this, with getting old?

It's not something i have ever felt I have to 'cope' with. It's natural ageing, fully expected. It just happens,

Can I ask what your skincare routine is please?

You accept that getting old is a privilege. You enjoy the anonymity that getting older affords.

A privilege denied to many for sure.

I looked and felt worse and older in my 40s than I do in my 50s. Once menopause was out of the way and on HRT (for bones) and cleaned up my diet (vegan, teetotal) I started aging backwards. I'm in the best shape of my life (BMI 21, 24" waist) my hair is thick and shiny and my skin is great due to diet and TLC. I've got bags of time to myself so other than work (which I love) I do nothing that isn't either fun or relaxing and I sleep 9 hours a night straight. Obviously at 55, I don't look 25 (or even 45) but I look better so who cares? Honestly, if I could go back and tell my 40s self there was all this to come, I'd not have believed it, but it really is the best time. If you look after yourself and your health holds, there's no reason why you shouldn't have it all to look forward to.

hide the mirror

Perimenopausal - HRT, changed my life.
Dry skin - invest in a good moisturiser, drink loads of water.
Hair falling out - (see HRT) start taking a really good supplement.
Grey hair - dye it.

As I get closer to 30 I've got some fine lines around my eyes (Lack of sleep catching up on me…) but considering the alternative to aging is not being here anymore, you have to live with it.

HRT game changer

Came to say this!

I'm glad I'm old. A good friend of mine died at 19. Every day is worth it - wrinkles, greys, aches and all.

This is a mindset thing. Therapy?

I’m 52 and kind of enjoying it.

Its inevitable isn't it, ageing? Pointless being in denial :)

Largely a matter of time and money, to go down the slippery slope as gracefully as possible.

It's a conflict for me because a cancer diagnosis meant I had to have a total hysterectomy. I took HRT before and now I can't. The hysterectomy and lack of HRT seems to have suddenly aged me a lot but I have all clear from the cancer (which I will always wonder if unbalanced HRT caused).

By having a physical job which helps me move, stay active, being humble about what I want other people to think of me or my looks - that is actually none of my business, by savouring my favourite foods and sweet coffee shops drinks knowing that the internal satisfaction is very often what is more important than what others think of me or say to me. The caravan goes, the dogs will bark anyway, so why not be happy and merry and enjoy all you can do, NOW

I’m 60 and realised in my 50s that I couldn’t afford to cut corners on the things that matter to me most
I stick to 6 weeks maximum for hair cut and root dye
Nails every 3/4 weeks
pedicures every 6/8 weeks
Regular eye brow wax, lash tint and perm
Facials when I can
Joined a gym with pool, sauna and steam room and actually use it!
Try and eat clean, lower alcohol and keep an eye on my weight
Clothes, shoes and accessories I try and prioritise quality over quantity even if that means buying second hand
Lastly appreciate where you are in life - as many others have said - the alternatives are worse

Also head over to Style & Beauty. Ageing might be a privilege but you don't have to entirely give yourself up to its worst excesses.