To wonder how you cope with aging?

[Newname85]

I am 43. Perimenopausal - with all the bells and whistles. My skin looks/feels thin, dry and lacklustre. I’m losing a lot of hair, also have lots of grey hair esp in the front.

How do you cope with all this, with getting old?

It's really not that bad!

I've loved being in my 40s despite the truck load of absolute crap that has hit my household and dearest. I look crap but I recognise that most of that I can do something with.
I've lost enough people around me to realise that it's a privilege to be here and I can control some things and others I need to influence or make peace with.
Drink plenty of water. Have a skin care routine. Make time to do the strength and exercise you enjoy. Make time for yourself and others x

It may be better than the alternative but that doesn’t mean you have to be miserable and not like how you look! It is really important to take care of yourself at this age. I’m 49 and make being strong and fit a huge priority because it is so important to how we age, it also makes me feel younger to be strong and to be able to the same things as the 20 year olds in a gym class. Getting enough sleep is also really important and HRT can help with that if peri is messing with your sleep. I dye my grays, have a good skincare routine(which doesn’t have to be expensive) and
wear makeup daily (but have adapted it because too much makes me look ridiculous now). I do get a bit of Botox because I prefer how I look with it. I still love to buy stylish clothes and get a great deal of happiness from putting outfits together which may sound shallow but is a nice way to find some joy in an otherwise routine daily life of work and kids. I don’t really care what other people think and do all this because it makes me happy. At almost 50 making myself happy is very important!

The outside of my body is fine, 60 but people think I'm late 40s , but my body inside is falling apart. I need to take daily medication to keep me alive.

It's a pity the beauty industry especially demonises aging , especially wrinkles.

It sucks but try and make the most of what you have. I deal by moisturising twice a day, regular facials, nails done every week, hair dyed and cut every 6 weeks, eyebrows dyed every month. I do it all myself apart from the hair. It makes me feel better and that makes all the difference.

You can get HRT
insist
When I said i couldn't gauge distances
They said oh well, the chems are not too bad
I insisted
And said - why can't I cross the road and have anxiety
This was a female doctor!
they are rubbish My grandmother was put into mental home Onto the meds!

For daytime I use Vitamin C serum, followed by SPF 50 before my makeup.

For evening, after cleansing I use tretinoin (a stronger version of retinol) a few times a week, on other nights I usually use a different serum - one with peptides, or niacinamide. followed by a good moisturiser.

I keep it pretty simple - 5 mins in the morning, 5 minutes in the evening.

You make the best of it. You eat well, exercise regularly, read to keep your brain active and abreast of current affairs/trends. I'm in my 70s and convinced that age is a combination of luck and a positive attitude.

You just accept it, especially when you realise that you don't want to be 21 again! As you get older you relax, become more confident, more contented, less willing to put up with nonsense. And you realise that how you look is unimportant.

I love this!

I do feel pretty shit now (42) as I'm worn out with work and running after children and juggling with a shift working DH.

I've put on weight and don't have any time for myself and I know I don't look brilliant.

But rest will come!

I looked great in my 20s and 30s but never thought I did. So I just think “me in 10 years time will think I look amazing right now!” And that helps.

I’ve always been ugly so it’s not really any different!

I felt rubbish at 42 and started looking after myself: nutrition, activity, style... I'm pretty sure I feel better at 53, despite a recent tough time.

Well I just accept it and get on with life! Every day I'm grateful to be alive and in reasonably good health, especially when I read the death notices in the local paper and see many people my age (65) and younger. While I would love to have my teen/20s self back it's not going to happen - and those who are young now will also age. Inside my head I'm still 16, and that's all that matters.

I wish I had the answer.
Just turned 40 and way too many grey hairs sprouting up for my liking.
I've put on a stone without doing anything different as well. It's really depressing how quickly this has happened. From late thirties onwards it has just gone downhill.

Yup. I don't think I was ever that invested in my self image and everyone knows they are going to get older, it can hardly come as a shock. It's just another stage which is fine.

huge hugs op, I’m attacking the hair thing full on, product product product and oils oils oils (hask oil v cheap but was a game changer) people always say ease up on products but they’re helping me- moisturising tres semme shampoo and also conditioner, heat protection spray, frizz ease. I drink a lot of water, eat well, apples, eggs, advocation, tuna for example. When hair goes back to normal I let routine slip, it goes to the way you describe. I just think back to how much we looked after ourselves as teens and think we need to do that but my gif it’s all hard- my body is freaky already (have the starting of arthritis and overall I’m as dehydrated as they come everywhere unless I drink a ridiculous amount of water!!)

Yup I suddenly put on weight doing nothing diferent between 41 and 42. I'm trying to reduce calories without making a big deal out of it - not a short term weight loss plan but a general adjustment to this stage

Accepting that there are swings and roundabouts. I'm 55 and my sleep isn't brilliant these days, and it's annoying. But when I was younger I slept so deeply that waking up was painfully difficult every single day. Tbh the baby stage was pretty misrable because of sleep. Genuinely it's easier now.

I do some things to look better, like spending a lot on dying my hair, and I do try and maintain my health - had periodontal work on my teeth and use interdental brushes and I mouth guard, boring stuff like that. Trying to increase my step count and general activity.

The best thing of all is my pension forecast. If I'm really lucky it might only be 5 years (unlikely). Amazing if so.

I actually love the freedom of being 53.

My skin is so much better after years of agonising acne. I decided to grow grey gracefully, yet still have dark brown hair (a short cut) with just a few strands of grey. Even my family don't believe that I don't dye it.

The sheer joy of having no periods is fantastic (horrific endometriosis and adenomyosis since my mid 20's).

I regularly have people commenting that I look in my early 40's - I really think it is years of greasy skin in my younger days. I wish someone had told me then, there was a benefit to having acne. It really was a horrendous part of my life.

I had my 2 children relatively young and so enjoy being a Nana to my wonderful granddaughter who is 5.

I am on a weight loss journey now, having struggled with obesity for my entire adult life.

I sleep 9+ hours a night (which I think really helps. Sleep is restorative and should never be under rated).

Life is suddenly really good and I have lost so many friends far too early, so I am embracing feeling really great in my 50's in a way that I never thought I would.

Botox every 6 months but no fillers, tretinoin, factor 50 daily even if you aren't going out. Hair masks, hairdressers frequently, dyson air wrap if you can afford it. Gym/exercise 5 times a week making time to lift weights. Hot yoga is also a game changer and helps combat stress as well as improving your strength and flexibility.

My main way of coping. No photos no mirrors 🕺

For me it was HRT, psychotherapy, exercise and aesthetics. It's still one of the toughest times of my life

Mate. It gets better. I am 71 - still feel very attractive. Just dress for yourself and with your women friends in mind and never ever dress with men in mind - you will be so much happier.

I’d give a lot to be 43 again 😳 I’m 65. You just keep living your life in the most fulfilling way possible. Aging is a privilege. Admittedly, it comes with changing hormones (that have robbed me of my previously very good libido) and arthritis, but still it’s a privilege.