To wonder how you cope with aging?

[Newname85]

I am 43. Perimenopausal - with all the bells and whistles. My skin looks/feels thin, dry and lacklustre. I’m losing a lot of hair, also have lots of grey hair esp in the front.

How do you cope with all this, with getting old?

You really are. 💖
Thank you for sharing your story. xx

Bear in mind, this is the youngest you’ll ever be. Enjoy it the best way you can.

I think hitting peri menopause was the first time I realised I was ageing and thats a sobering thought to anyone

But as I moved through to menopause and post - apart from my knees, age really has become a number

Ive gotten used to the skin laxity, the greying, the fact I do get tired. Doesn't mean to say I dont have the same enthusiasm for life , just need to pace it a bit more :)

The best thing about ageing is no more periods!
I have no idea whether I'm perimenopausal (?) Or menopausal, I just know that blood every month is not an issue.
I've been going grey since I was 28 and have never (luckily) had skin issues, other than stress related stuff.
My dad died from cancer when he was 59, I'm Currently 52, I will count it as a bonus if I live beyond that. My mother died when she was 68, I will probably dance, creakily, around with joy if I beat that.
If I reach my 90's, I'll probably be pissed off.

I remind myself of the alternative! 😂

I love not having periods
I love being liberated from childcare
I love going out whenever I please and doing solo holidays
I am more confident and don't worry about what people think of me.
I am working fewer hours
I was a late bloomer and have achieved more after 45

There are definitely things I don't like but I focus on the things I do.

I just realised I didn't mention my looks. I have never been that focused on them. I am an average looker so I haven't lost much. I do think about my health which is generally OK.

Eh? How do we cope? What do you mean? What's there to think about? It's part of life. Enjoy and get on with it, doing the best you can. Haven't you always looked after yourself and treated yourself.

@5128gap that's so inspiring. I really want to lift weights in 2025 and lose a bit of tummy bulge. Needs more effort but I feel I can do it if I spend less time on MN!.

Skin: I am a prescription Tret convert.( I get it from overseas but you can get it from Dermatica). My skin is better than it was in my 20s, smooth and bright..I don't kid myself I look younger though.
However I am happy enough and not planning to go in for any injectable.

I am on HRT though unsure if it is making any difference.

With an 'e'
Ageing is a privilege and an annoyance, particularly from a falling over optic!
Not matter how your nails, hair and face are polished [false]/dyed/full of botulism &fillers, the hands and neck will give your age away
HRT will only do so much, but pity we unable to take it due to cancer/other treatment, as we are knackered sooner than those who can take it!

I'm sorry @andthat

Since I’ve never really been pretty it hasn’t bothered me really. The aches and pains though are horrible.

I will never be really sure if this was the case but I was on two pumps of HRT plus one progesterone tablet daily. After a couple of years I experienced post menopausal bleeding. Put on the two week pathway, hysteroscopy and a polyp was removed. At this point I was offered a Mirena coil which the gynaecologist felt might offer more direct protection but having never had the coil before I declined. Sixteen months on I was back on a two week referral, early stage cancer suspected, hysterectomy and no more HRT. Sorry long story short but I suspect some of us do not absorb progesterone as well as others but that's just my own guess.

@Enoughwiththisshit thank you

People are so obsessed with the number.
I didn’t notice my 40s/ as was bringing up kids and had full on busy job. Took up new sports in my 50s. Use minimum makeup but keep hair in good shape and colour. Be around young people!
I retrained as a teacher aged 53 and have loads more energy now 10 years later than when I was knackered with young kids and being in a school with teenagers that make me laugh all the time means that I don’t dwell on ‘ageing’.
Find new interests snd look outside yourself and the world around. Relish the sunshine! Be so social. Use the freedom from having dependent kids to travel and be spontaneous.
Got a new haircut on Saturday - completely new style and had lots of the school kids telling me how great it looked. Accept compliments and smile.
Always a mob axes me when you see eg on FB requests for suggestions of ‘where to go on hold with parents aged 66 and 64’
Massive difference between people who have an old attitude at 35 and see it as a downward spiral and those who refuse all that and who participate actively in. Several sports and are off to Greece at half term on a windsurfing holiday.

I'm on the combined pill then plan to go straight to HRT without passing go. I have endometriosis lurking so I'm not taking any chances with hormonal related shite. Other than thar I look after myself and go to the gym a lot and do yoga. I don't really get aches and pains if I do yoga regularly.

Practical steps you can take: Judicious Botox (a very light touch) twice per year; hair masks instead of conditioner (the Aussie SOS mask is fantastic - better than the high end ones); babyliss big hair roller brush after using the Zuwi UV hairdryer (your hair will thank you - it’s weird and $$$ but it works!); regular weightlifting and reformer Pilates; regular manicures - neutral polish on hands is good and ballet slippers by Essie seems to work on most skin tones. Essentially, as I get older I want to look groomed and I focus on that and looking healthy etc rather than trying to look young.

But getting older is shit. Sympathies! 😂

I'm 55, and yes ...aging is crap !!

I've gone from a reasonably attractive gym bunny to feeling like a haggard, overweight old wifey.

But do you know what is absolutely, 100% amazing???

I don't give a f*ck anymore !!!

The biggest change that getting older has afforded me, is the absolute confidence to look people in the eye and be ME!

I feel kinda invisible...and that should make me feel devastated...but you know what...it really doesn't.

Years of being treated a certain way because of how I looked or presented myself, being harassed by men, the looks the jeers...all gone and I'm not mourning it at all.

The freedom of my 'invisibility cloak' is so freeing...I really don't care.

I still look after myself, wear make up, dress well and dye the grey out of my hair, but it's for me, and me alone.

Embrace getting old, it's an honour that some people don't get....but it also brings such wonderful clarity and confidence... i could take on the world if I wanted.... and I can swear like 'Catherine Tate's Nan' and no one cares !!!

Snap! I’m another member of the uterine cancer club 🙁

HRT was my saviour in my 40’s as I really struggled with peri.
2 years on from my hysterectomy ( ovaries, tubes - the whole works) and without hrt, I’m trying alternative ways of coping.
Leaving my very stressful job and getting a no-stress part time job has helped, as has yoga and Pilates. I’ve also got a personal trainer who I do weight trainng with once a week. Currently trying to lose weight and drink less alcohol. I try and cook from scratch and limit any ultra processed foods.
My skin isn’t brilliant, so im trying out various skincare routines. I had my teeth fixed (braces) and that has given me a lot more confidence.

It’s work in progress, but I think it’s helping. I’m just glad to be here.

THIS !!!

Me too...started my business at 44 and not looked back. I've achieved more in the last 10 years then ever.

Got rid of 14 stone of dead weight at 40... ( he wasn't happy) but my life soared.

Had a baby at 43.... he's 13 now and keeps me young.

You age or you die! I am grateful every day

look after your body, eat wel, drink less and be grateful. Every day.

I’m 60 and very fit and healthy
however my 60 year old friend has osteo arthritis, hip pain, very high cholesterol, high blood pressure, is on the verge of being diabetic, needs an op on her ankle because of a bone spur, suffers with fluid retention and is obese…

I am lucky but I’ve also spent a lifetime of eating healthily and having daily exercise

Keeping the weight off is crucial, I think.My mum is still happy and active at 79 but I have 40 something friends who are struggling because they are overweight and their knees hurt.

Btw I like being invisible to men. No idea why so many hate it.I travel solo a lot, sometimes in dangerous countries, and men pay me no heed at all. Just how I like it!

I am 60 and eat very healthily and virtually teetotal. I see a physio monthly but I do need to do more yoga and walking. Thanks to vitamins supplements and healthy eating I seldom catch colds plus never had covid.

Life without periods is bliss but they did not stop until age 56!I

I feel a lot healthier now I am through the menopause. Good sleeps and I only work part time which helps no end. I think by the time we reach 60 only a few can cope with full time hours.

Totally this
I'm mid 50s and feel about 35!
Children gone, own houses and partners
I retired last year ( special classes) and went back but reduced my hours at work so only work PT now.
I run, swim, cycle, kick box
Lots of sleep, water, teetotal , healthy diet and time to cook, hrt you will have to prize it out of my dead, cold, hands

Everyone say you feel dreadful as you age, I think the pressures on 30s-40s women,work, relationships, children, lazy husbands are what is causing it
Look after yourselves and put yourselves first