DH called me a pathetic b****

[Piouspenny]

Our neighbours sent some cupcakes with my son when he returned from a play date. . Unfortunately, they weren't particularly nice so I threw them away; DS and DH aren't particularly fond of cakes so wouldn't have eaten them.

I mentioned this to DS in passing when he asked where the cupcakes were. A few days later, when over their house, he told the neighbours that I threw them away.

It's caused some friction with the neighbours and they have made it clear DS is no longer welcome at their house, which has left him feeling very upset.

DH has placed the blame squarely on me, calling me a bitch, amongst other things.

I know I shouldn't have said anything but I think swearing and being abusive isn't acceptable.

Left out you called him a name first ay

But you’re not allowed to throw cakes away if you don’t like them?
(I feel we’re going around in circles here somewhat)

They weren't just her cakes so no. You aren't allowed to throw out other people's food without asking. That's rude.

It’s not about that 🤦‍♀️ she also called her husband a name first so why is she allowed to do that by your rules? She’s handled the whole thing badly. I’m sorry but why would you tell your child I chucked them coz they’re gross knowing that he’d repeat it. It’s silly and she’s obviously not reacted well after the fact for her son not to be welcomed anymore - I imagine she’s missing that out.

It depends whether her son actuslly wanted them. I assume he didn’t but if he did it would be a very odd thing to do. Maybe OP thought he wouldn’t want them then told him they weren’t very nice to excuse why she chucked them?

You’re totally allowed, but there’s more people at home… maybe they want to try them and make an opinion for themselves? Just sayin. You’re not a pathetic b—- by any means maybe a bit clumsy a tad selfish with your thinking, I understand your husband being slightly mad and telling you off but that sort of insult is awful. I would never be married to someone who calls me that.

What about ? What about ? What about? How many excuses are you going to make for the OP? She was rude. Full stop.

I agree with him that you should have told a whole lie - I can’t imagine being with someone who wouldn’t think the same. It’s called having empathy for others. Also a lot of people who say they are “just being honest” are actually horrible.

He shouldn’t have called you a bitch - but you called him “wet” which is also horrible. Sounds like he’s had enough of you and snapped

your poor son by the way losing a friend because of you

she also called her husband a name first so why is she allowed to do that by your rules?

Sorry I was being facetious tbh.

I haven’t made any excuses for her. How is what I wrote in that post you quoted an excuse?

Girl you use the phrase “excuse” and make up a random scenario that we know isn’t true because the OP has told the thread multiple times that the cupcakes were vile. You really must try harder.

@Piouspenny sounds like you have a history of nasty behaviour. You've taught your son not to appreciate kind gestures. Your husband was out of order with his language but maybe this was his and your neighbours final straw moment.

No, I meant she may have told the son they weren’t very nice if he asked for one and she had to tell him she threw them away. It would be her excusing herself for throwing them away without checking.

It is speculation yes but I’m not the only one on here doing that tbf.

yes so you’ve tried to make up an excuse for the OP 🤦‍♀️ jesus.

Your husband is bang out of order. He has absolutely no right to speak to you like that! However, I'm at a loss as to why you would tell your young son you threw them out. Regardless of whether this is a storm in a 'cupcake' or not. You did the wrong thing there! The cupcakes were a kind gesture. If I were you, I would apologise to you neighbour. Tell them you had forgotten to fridge them and they were spoiled. Either that or you dropped them whilst putting them in the fridge/ tin. Whatever. Either they will accept your apology or they won't! Just be careful what you say in front of your DS in future.

What am I excusing exactly?

Your dh was totally wrong to call you that however do you think he may have a point that you can be 'over critical' it's often been my experience that people who pride themselves on being a 'straight shooter' or not a walkover often just come across as rude.

OP I used to be married to someone who was always negative. He was an energy vampire, and only thought his opinions were right. He also didn’t believe there was anything wrong in how he was. It ended our marriage.

You’re trying to come up with a reason to justify why she told her son they were disgusting. But, no matter the scenario, there really was no need to. Especially if she knew he would pass it on. Struggling to see why you’re having a hard time understanding? Excuse = justify. You can’t.

Thanks, but I’m not the OP

No I was just wondering why she’d throw them away if she thought he might actually want to eat them.

You really should not have told anyone that you threw them away. Why did you?

Was it just that you didn't like them, or is it the giver you don't like? Did they taste odd, or were you just not in the mood for cake that time? You could have done something with them, in a trifle, perhaps.

You threw them away without asking others to try them: why? Do you always judge something on what you think?

I remember some time ago that we went to a church service when the Church of England had announced a survey they wanted to make. After the service I asked the Churchwarden where they were. She replied: ''I didn't think they were suitable for our church''. I said that 'I would prefer to decide that for myself.'

Is it wise of you to decide your DS & DH have no say in the matter, that their opinions don't count?

Perhaps it would be wiser to ask them to sample them and tell you what they think of the neighbour's cooking?

I don’t think you were you little wind up merchant you 🫶 we know she threw them away because she thought they were vile - why would she give her son cupcakes that she thought tasted bad even if he wanted them? You don’t need to wonder any harder than “OP thought the cakes were vile”.

You pathetic bitch. Say it out loud. You can almost taste the venom. Regardless of whether or not you should have told your DS (you know you shouldn’t have), there is no respect left in this marriage if your husband can say those words to you so easily. Calling someone “wet” doesn’t quite have the same level of nastiness. Based on your posts, it’s clear that he truly does think you’re a pathetic bitch and you think he’s wet. Do yourselves both a favour and call time on this destructive marriage.

Op you are obviously not very diplomatic you have upset your neighbours and now your poor son is not welcome there any longer, we'll done, no wonder your DH has lost patience with you.