Twins should not be dressed the same

[Mokel]

My friend has identical twin girls - aged 3, She has never put them in the same clothing. Sometimes when buying a multipack of babygrows, t-shirts - each one wears one of these from the same pack. She is often criticised by people that she should dress them the same. First its none of their business and secondly, they may be identical in appearance but not in personality. People need to treat twins individually.

But what's not "completely reasonable" is not actually being a twin parent but announcing research gives grounds for disagreeing with the people actually doing the job, and then informing them of this. Because if you read the thread (of which there are two twins, of only 4 who have commented, who actually have issue with it) you will see literally every twin parent telling you, it's the twins themselves that refuse to be different, up to a certain age. Or does it not suit your narrative to acknowledge 95% of the real lived experience on this thread. Thought not.

So, research tells the people with sod all experience, but evidently an opinion on everything, that twin parents should do this. Whereas the twins prevent this from happening in nearly all examples given here.

Great. Well done. Thanks for letting us know.

No because it's confirmation bias of highly defensive people, and that's all it is. They see a thread painting something they do negatively, so they respond to it – which is a no brainer in the kinds of responses you're going to get. Twin children may also refuse to eat vegetables or do their homework or brush their teeth, so taking your cues from them isn't much to go by when assessing what's good for them. And a trained developmental psychologist in the field also doesn't need to have twins to robustly give guidance on what is good for them – a doctor or psychologist, after all, won't have experienced every mental and physical ailment, but their research and advice is still valid.

There's zero need to be so aggressive, which you have displayed page after page.

You think "people who aren't parents of twins don't understand what being a parent of twins is like" is a broad sweeping parental generalisation.

You can't get much more of a specific statement.

I'm sorry you think by being a twin you know what it's like to raise them.

Would you tell a police officer you know exactly what it's like to be in the police force because your dad was a copper?

You'd have a better idea than most people. But that's about as far as it goes.

Maybe it's zero to do with your twaddle, and twin parents are sick of clueless randomers letting us know what we should be doing

Tried reading the thread. What 95% of actual people with actual experience of the thing you know nothing about are telling you. You aren't criticising. Because you haven't got the first clue what you're talking about. Or any desire to listen to what nearly every single person on this thread is saying.

But don't let that get in the way of your excellent speech. Doesn't stop most of you that like to "tell" us, and you're clearly no different.

I haven’t rtft so maybe missing something, but surely no two sets of twins or family circumstances are the same so even twin parents can’t generalise really - they can of course talk about their own experiences.

personally I don’t see why that’s necessarily a more valid contribution than someone talking about their experience being a twin.

Clearly there are a range of views here - no one has more of a right to comment than anyone else.

I have read the full thread, I have twins and my parent is a twin. My 'twaddle' is every bit as valid as you believe yours to be.

Your inability to take any form of constructive criticism speaks volumes in your aggression and defensiveness. Good luck parenting, I guess.

Maybe do rtft and see it is what 95% of parents of twins are indeed saying.

You also haven't understood that being a twin doesn't make your opinion of being a twin less important. The comments by the twins are absolutely valid, about being twins.

Again, would you insist to a police officer that you know what it's like to be a police officer because your dad was.

I can understand twin babies and toddlers being dressed the same because it's easier. School aged twins can dress themselves so they'll be in different clothes. I don't understand why sisters dress the same when they're not twins.

"Twin children may also refuse to eat vegetables or do their homework or brush their teeth, so taking your cues from them isn't much to go by when assessing what's good for them. "

The fact that you can't see what utter nonsense you think this comparison is, gives context to the rest of your posts.

Good luck parenting too sweetie, you know with the single children you have knowledge of, and not multiples who you're clueless about xx

Ahhh, just did a quick search and seen how you patronise and attack posters on nearly every thread.

Take care.

On your police officer example, I wouldn’t say I had personal experience of it, but I would be able to report what my dad had told me about his experience.

I think you have confused me with another poster perhaps though - I’m not a twin, though my siblings are. Funnily enough, I’ve talked to my parents about what it’s like raising twins and I’ve talked to my siblings about what it’s like being twins.

Anyway, the reality is that people judge about absolutely everything whether they are entitled to or not. But fortunately you don’t have to engage with it if it annoys you.

On your police officer example, I wouldn’t say I had personal experience of it, but I would be able to report what my dad had told me about his experience.

Correct.

That's exactly what I'm saying.

Why on earth can't you have an opinion if you don't have twins??? I totally agree with you OP. They are separate people and need to be dressed differently.
Some of the arguments on here are daft: it's easier to find them in a park if they are dressed the same? LOL. And why can't I, with DDs age 2 and 3 even express an opinion on how daft it is.

These comments from twins are the only reason I am still reading this thread.
I like to think I allow my b/g twins (totally different from identical I know this)
To be individual without the label of twins. I have to accept some people will only ever call them the twins and I'd be exhausted if I corrected every single person every day that said "oh twins"
I don't read research not because I don't want to but because it is people making a decision on what they see and feel and get told. It isn't from experience like yourself and fellow "twins" have shared be it on here or on twins groups on Facebook.
This thread is my research in hearing and listening to how twins felt at different stages.
Parenting is hard. Parents just want to survive.
Parents of multiples just want to parent without 30 thousand comments and no doubt you as a twin don't want to be made in to a "gimmick" just because you have a same pregnancy sibling.

It isn’t daft. In fact, I tied my twins together at the town festival because they kept running off.

Two separate kids of different ages is a piece of piss.

Was just waiting for the "but having two singletons is a piece of piss" comments.

If you're saying you shouldn't have an opinion on twins unless you have twins, then you also cannot make claims like this!! Some twins will be harder than a pair of singletons, and vice versa. BUT if you've not had singletons instead, you can't comment - isn't that right?

@Ourdearoldqueen LOL - I have a 3, 2 and 1 year old. A piece of piss is something no one has ever said to me before. And they are perfectly capable of running off in different directions, despite not having been conceived at the same time. Get a grip!

I'm friends on facebook with a woman who has non identical twins and they always seem to be wearing exactly the same outifts in all the photos. I don't understand it at all, surely you'd want them to be their own little person? All that being said, it's none of my business!

As someone who does indeed have both, I can confirm, that funnily enough, this poster who actually has twins, is absolutely correct.

Singletons are "a piece of piss" in comparison. Even comparing to my singleton with SEN.

Also, parents who've got "two like reeeeeallly close in age" insist they know what it's like.

Spoiler. You don't. You just like to make out you've got the same thing, but clearly just parent them far better. Lol.

I have twins and singletons and there’s really no comparison. It’s not a piece of piss raising anyone but having one at a time is really not compatible. Think about breastfeeding in public for an example or potty training exactly at the same time. I had singletons before twins and one after and just the joy of sticking them on my hip and running into a shop….

It’s a bit odd that people have these really strong views about twins. Why are you thinking about what doesn’t concern you? It’s not this thread that has triggered these thoughts given lots are mentioning random twins who aren’t your business.
Just don’t worry about it unless you need to.

*comparable

@LewishamMumNow No that amount of small children isn’t easy at all but I’d say calling dressing twins alike ‘daft’ is quite spiteful & over invested.

Twins are a piece off piss try having triplets then you would know what hard work is

@Differentstarts I think parents of twins would have more understanding than anyone about triplets.
I would definitely wouldn’t have the audacity to tell them how to raise them. Wouldn’t dare.

Assuming you have them do you not feel aggrieved when people tell you they have three so what’s the difference?!