Twins should not be dressed the same

[Mokel]

My friend has identical twin girls - aged 3, She has never put them in the same clothing. Sometimes when buying a multipack of babygrows, t-shirts - each one wears one of these from the same pack. She is often criticised by people that she should dress them the same. First its none of their business and secondly, they may be identical in appearance but not in personality. People need to treat twins individually.

I don't imagine it matter too much either way when they are small. Once they are past the toddler stage they might have very clear preferences.

A mum in our toddler group dressed her twin girls the same until one day she changed her mind. The girls had been dressed the same, coats, leggings, coats, bobble hats. When they were in front of her and one ran into a busy road she didn't know which name to shout. After that they always had at least one garment different.

This is a bit OTT - must make it difficult to hand things down apart from anything else.

I can see how it might happen that twins are sometimes dressed the same but I think it is off when parents do it religiously. It’s hard enough for the kids that people will struggle to tell them apart, that they are constantly viewed and talked about as 1 of a pair, and constantly compared without emphasising that.

I know identical triplets (adults) and they had very different haircuts as kids and talk about how much they appreciated it as it stopped them feeling like a circus show everywhere they went. Sometimes people wouldn’t even realise they were identical.

I’m a twin mum and it really annoys me when twins are dressed the same. Twins grow up with enough to battle with concerning their sense of Individuality, they don’t need this adding to it. And having hung out with A LOT of twin mums over the years, it’s 99% a gimmick and 1% a convenience.

Singleton siblings dressed the same is non comparable.

My twins don’t even look related so the individuality thing never really kicked in. Matching coats was handy for days out.

I’m a twin. My mother got us matching outfits once, for a special occasion. Otherwise it was always different (once we were toddlers anyway, I imagine 80s babygros didn’t have much variety). We always preferred being different, and people still treated us as one fucking entity half the time.

We are still very different, and I’m glad we were always encouraged to be so.

I think it must require a high level of organisation to dress them in matching clothes. I know a lot of people who do it with siblings but when I try it with mine either one refuses to wear the matching item or they spill something on it straight away. That's if I can even find it in the cupboard. People should do what they want but I don't buy the convenience excuse!

Any child psychologist saying this to me had better also be a twin parent.

I was on a cruise last year and there was a pair of identical twins. Ladies in their 80's. They had the same build, hairstyle , height etc and every single day they dressed identically. Even shoes! You never saw them apart. Odd, but quite sweet.it was a long cruise too! The caused a bit of a sensation

My friend found when her twins were very small (like too small to choose their clothes, say 2 yo) that it was difficult sometimes to find clothes that were of “equal niceness” but not the same. So she tried not to make them match but at the same time treat them equally.

Might explain some of the trend towards matching twins?

But clearly the comments your friend is getting is ridiculous.

Once twins are old enough to choose their own clothes the problem clearly gets easier!

As a child, I was alway jealous of siblings who twinned because my mum wouldn't let us because of a non-issue like this. My DC love being dressed the same and they're a couple of years apart.

Why would matching coats be handy? My two (siblings not twins) had matching coats one year by chance. It didn't make any difference from other years when the coats were not matching. If anything it was more annoying as I would have to check the size to see whose was whose

Different aged siblings are just a completely different proposition though.

I tend to think the term “the twins” or “twinnies” comes from children looking the same and dressing the same. They can lose their individuality and seem to become a single entity. Party invites must be given to both etc. However parents can do what they want. Entirely their choice. My friend dressed her twins differently and they were in different classes at school so they had different friends. Everyone has their own views. My DDs are 3 years apart and wanted the same dresses when young.

I'm an unidentical very unlike looking twin. People still call you the twins. You are considered an entity. Being comfortable in your own skin , with a strong sense of who you are is hard for most kids.
Being dressed differently and being able to choose what you want to wear would have helped.

I find it a bit odd but each to their own.

Because it made it easier to remember - rather than Bill is in blue today, or was it green, and Ben is in green, or was it red? My mind was mostly sleep addled and seeing two the same was easier. And they were the same size.

My DM taught at a boarding school for many years and had lots of twins pass through. She always used to talk about the issues twins had re identity/jealousy/intense unhealthy rivalry, especially in such a contained environment

Exactly. Or triplets.

From your user name there is a 60% chance your twins are non identical and if so individuality may be slightly less of an issue for you.

I often dress my mcda twins the same and can confirm it’s 100% convenience 0% gimmick.

They are 18m old and have no sense of individuality. When they do I will probably take the extra inconvenience of choosing separate outfits for them or letting them choose.

My twins are very identical but have very different personalities and anyone who bothers to get to know them can tell them apart no matter what they are wearing.

Ive generally found twin mums band together and don’t judge one another on what their kids are wearing, but sorry that we annoy you.

Twin girl mum here.
mine dressed the same a lot when younger as was easier to just grab one outfit out. Especially fir when dad dressed them lol. And you could bet your life that if you happened to only have one item then they both wanted it!!
now they are 7 and chose their own. We don’t have many matching clothes but sometimes they pick the same.

I dressed mine the same for a while. Very handy when one went away and the security guard asked for a description. Its also easier
To tack two say orange jackets than a blue and a red in the park. If you don't have twins, wind your neck in.

Amen.

With twins, the only thing worse than none of something, is one of something.

I think it is the parent's choice but I have always preferred to dress my twins differently. It just makes it so much easier when differentiating. However, when they were very small and literally could not choose clothes for themselves, I would buy multiple sets of the same clothes. And people forget that sometimes twins LIKE to match and there are plenty of siblings who enjoy doing this regardless of being twins or not. My twins are now 15 and have very different styles but still sometimes like to wear the same basic outfit together if we are going out as a family. They have 2 more little sisters and sometimes all 4 of them match for special events and some can say it's creepy but I think it's adorable.

I know a mum of quads that dresses all 4 the same and I do not blame her one bit.

Mum to identical twins here 🙌

No twins, no option is my view!!! Believe it or not my girls have their own minds, are completely unique and treated as individuals. We’ve made a point of this right from their birth. Now here’s the kicker - they often choose to wear the same clothes, most days to be honest, even though I made a point of dressing them differently before they found their voices.

In your own words…Mind.Your.Own.Business!

Anyone is entitled to their opinion 🤷‍♀️