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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have expected them to swap DD’s tombola prize?

314 replies

LionMummy8 · 29/09/2024 14:07

DD had a go on a family tombola this morning in a family pub/restaurant style place. She won and it was bottle of wine. I asked if she could swap it for one of the more child friendly prizes or one of the teddies but they refused. So she’s won a bottle of wine that she can’t even have! AIBU to have excepted them to swap DD’s prize?

OP posts:
Smartiepants79 · 29/09/2024 22:09

CoffeeGood · 29/09/2024 22:03

Can you really not see that although your child might have been happy if they had swapped, another child that should have won that teddy might have been sad. Or are you one of the "I'm all right Jack" parents, that as long as your child is happy, sod the unfairness to someone else's child. And maybe THAT child's parent wouldn't have been able to throw money at the problem?

Your child is going to grow up entitled because at aged 7, she's realised if things don't go her way, mummy will throw some money at the problem and she'll get the thing she wanted. Good luck in another 7-9 years!!

Show quote history

But how would another child know if they ‘should have’ won anything?? You swap the tickets over. No one would then get the ticket for the bear. They get the ticket for the wine.
I am generally not a person who panders to children in this kind of scenario. But this tombola was badly organised. The wine was a completely unsuitable prize for anyone under 18. In fact it’s an illegal prize.
If the prize had been anything else- another toy or food or anything, then I’d have been saying suck it up. But you don’t give a child a bottle of alcohol.

twentysevendresses · 29/09/2024 22:12

I won a 200 pack of Benson & Hedges in around 1970 at our village fete tombola. I was 6...my dad was very chuffed 👌🏻🤣

Jifmicroliquid · 29/09/2024 22:15

Do you not understand how a tombola works??
Yet another child being raised whose parent expects everyone else to change the rules and adapt to their child just so they can get what they want.

You should have taken the wine and told her you’d buy her some sweets or chocolate as a trade.

CoffeeGood · 29/09/2024 22:18

Smartiepants79 · 29/09/2024 22:09

But how would another child know if they ‘should have’ won anything?? You swap the tickets over. No one would then get the ticket for the bear. They get the ticket for the wine.
I am generally not a person who panders to children in this kind of scenario. But this tombola was badly organised. The wine was a completely unsuitable prize for anyone under 18. In fact it’s an illegal prize.
If the prize had been anything else- another toy or food or anything, then I’d have been saying suck it up. But you don’t give a child a bottle of alcohol.

Show quote history

But that's absolutely NOT the point! It doesn't matter whether the next child was aware they should have won a teddy rather than wine, the fact is they may be really disappointed they won wine when their actual prize should have been the teddy which they may have really loved. Why should they have to learn a lesson that the OP wasn't willing to teach her child? Of course, it MAY have been an adult who was more than happy that the prize had been swapped. But since we don't know and it could have gone either way it's best that things are left to fair chance, as a tombola is supposed to be.

Also, if you have read the OP's posts, she does clearly say that the alcohol was NOT given to the child, it was given to an appropriate adult.

TimeFlysWhenYoureHavingRum · 29/09/2024 22:25

A 7 year old should not be in a pub.

Original poster
LionMummy8 · 29/09/2024 22:40

Smartiepants79 · 29/09/2024 22:09

But how would another child know if they ‘should have’ won anything?? You swap the tickets over. No one would then get the ticket for the bear. They get the ticket for the wine.
I am generally not a person who panders to children in this kind of scenario. But this tombola was badly organised. The wine was a completely unsuitable prize for anyone under 18. In fact it’s an illegal prize.
If the prize had been anything else- another toy or food or anything, then I’d have been saying suck it up. But you don’t give a child a bottle of alcohol.

Show quote history

This!

OP posts:
Beezknees · 29/09/2024 22:41

It's a tombola. Stop being so precious.

NotSoHotMess24 · 29/09/2024 22:48

LionMummy8 · 29/09/2024 14:17

DD gave the pound to her for the ticket.

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Maybe you should call the police?

Demonhunter · 29/09/2024 23:30
Sad In A Box GIF

Can't wait for the Tik Tok story from the staff 😂 Imagine embarrassing yourself like this at your local pub for a tombola teddy.

Demonhunter · 29/09/2024 23:32

Ok @LionMummy8 what if your daughter won a ball. Not alcohol but not a teddy. Would you have gone back and told them to swap it if your daughter was going on about the teddy because she didn't like the ball?

Scirocco · 29/09/2024 23:42

Going back kind of makes the embarrassment factor worse. Especially as it's local to you.

Starlightstarbright3 · 29/09/2024 23:44

My Ds got left a bottle of wine in our room by the hotel staff when we were abroad once … it was his 11th birthday .

I just kept it laughed .. oh and posted on fb to amuse my friends too 🤷‍♂️

CaptainMyCaptain · 30/09/2024 01:45

TimeFlysWhenYoureHavingRum · 29/09/2024 22:25

A 7 year old should not be in a pub.

Families with children have meals in pubs all the time.

SpiggingBelgium · 30/09/2024 01:56

TimeFlysWhenYoureHavingRum · 29/09/2024 22:25

A 7 year old should not be in a pub.

😆😆😆

TofuTart · 30/09/2024 02:19

TimeFlysWhenYoureHavingRum · 29/09/2024 22:25

A 7 year old should not be in a pub.

Lots of pubs are family friendly, and do kids meals.
Spoons, Harvester etc

Marchitectmummy · 30/09/2024 03:03

LionMummy8 · 29/09/2024 20:55

I’ve gone back tonight as DD kept going on about the teddy on the tombola. The tombola has finished now but they said no one had won the teddy. So I’ve offered to donate to the charity which they then said I could have the teddy for her if I left them a cash donation for the charity so that’s what I’ve done and now DD has her teddy.

What utter madness, your child is 7 probably has a room full of teddies and yet you have gone back to the pub to get this one. Total spoiling of your child, why couldn't you have stuck with sorry darling, we didn't win a teddy this time.

isthismylifenow · 30/09/2024 05:12

LionMummy8 · 29/09/2024 20:55

I’ve gone back tonight as DD kept going on about the teddy on the tombola. The tombola has finished now but they said no one had won the teddy. So I’ve offered to donate to the charity which they then said I could have the teddy for her if I left them a cash donation for the charity so that’s what I’ve done and now DD has her teddy.

So didn't happen.

Funkyslippers · 30/09/2024 10:06

LionMummy8 · 29/09/2024 20:55

I’ve gone back tonight as DD kept going on about the teddy on the tombola. The tombola has finished now but they said no one had won the teddy. So I’ve offered to donate to the charity which they then said I could have the teddy for her if I left them a cash donation for the charity so that’s what I’ve done and now DD has her teddy.

I really hope this isn't true. So you went back after the event, the teddy just happened to still be there by some miracle, and they let you have it! Yeah right!

Mill3nnial · 30/09/2024 10:26

If a child wins alchohol and a parent is with them it's fine to give the wine to the adult. If there are spare prizes fine but if the ticket for the other prize (that you wanted tk swap it with) is in the tombola then how does that work when someone else picks it?

Mill3nnial · 30/09/2024 10:27

I can't believe you went back for the teddy. I think you need to teach your child they can't have entering and they didn't win the cuddly toy so they couldn't have it.

ToNiceWithSpice · 30/09/2024 13:26

You went back? This gets bloody worse.

OhmygodDont · 30/09/2024 14:21

So this wasn’t about the wine at all let’s face it. Dd wanted one specific prize on the table. You thought you’d got the golden ticket when she won booze to ask to swap it but then they wouldn’t.

Thesleepycat · 30/09/2024 18:00

LionMummy8 · 29/09/2024 14:11

There were other child friendly prizes there.

where I work, when a child wins alcohol on a tombola we let them swap it for a more suitable prize. That’s just the right thing to do.

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I would have thought it would be illegal to give a child a prize of alcohol. They’re not allowed to sell alcohol to kids in the shops or serve it to them in pubs.

OhmygodDont · 30/09/2024 18:05

Thesleepycat · 30/09/2024 18:00

I would have thought it would be illegal to give a child a prize of alcohol. They’re not allowed to sell alcohol to kids in the shops or serve it to them in pubs.

Show quote history

They have to make an adult come and claim the prize since it’s alcohol.

been to many fates and such always a tombola with booze even the children school did a bottle stand. Pop and booze £1 for five tickets.

Teasloth · 30/09/2024 18:13

When we do those we just take the ticket off the wine and stick it to something else and vice versa. Really not a big deal to swap the prizes over. Don't think you are being unreasonable but at the same time when my son wins wine etc they think it's hilarious and give it to me laughing so prob wouldn't ask to swap anyway. Bragging rights to tell mates they won alcohol 🤦😂😂