Who is bu regarding lifts?

[Nostalgianostalgic]

There are two people. Gordon and Billy.

Billy is giving Gordon a lift regularly. That's fine and Billy doesn't mind at all under the circumstances. Without going into it all it's a reasonably arrangement.

But when Billy goes to pick Gordon up Billy texts Gordon just as he's leaving to say "on way". It's a 2 minute drive away.

When Billy arrives, he's having to wait several minutes for Gordon to come out to the car and is getting annoyed.

Gordon says that Billy should text again to say that he's there, but Billy thinks as he's helping Gordon, that Gordon should be ready and waiting at the door.

Who is bu?

Billy needs to string a sentence together and say it out loud to Gordon.

Gordon needs to be ready and waiting at x time, otherwise the arrangement no longer works for Billy.

Forget messaging. That's just another waste of time.

Gordon. It’s bloody rude to accept a lift from someone and then keep them waiting.

Gordan is taking the P. If you’re getting picked up at 7, you’d be ready by 6.55 absolute max, then when you get the leaving now text, you put your shoes and coat on and wait by the door and go straight out. If someone is good enough to give you a lift then you should be out straight away. I’d just stop giving him a lift if he’s spoken to him and no change. Some people who expect lifts are so rude

Gordon is a CF. We had this with a team mate of our daughter's. They played football on a Saturday and one season DH was asked if he could pick up this teammate, which was a detour but he did it. Pick up was the same time every week but every single time DD would have to knock the door and wait, then wait for teammate to find her bag, her boots etc. He only did it for one season. Turns out everyone only did it for one season. People who never do anything for others don't appreciate the effort others make for them.

Did this teammate never ask why everyone was only picking her up for one season?

Gordon is a moron !!!

Billy has all the power here. Why doesn't he just say this isn't working for him anymore and for Gordon to make his own way there from now on?

I'm a lift giver. I wouldn't expect a lifter to be waiting on the doorstep, but I certainly wouldn't put up with being made late. If it's a regular thing the arrangement would be for me to pick up at,say,7. But if I only lived 2 minutes away, I'd send an "Just setting off"message 5 minutes before. That would give me and the liftee a bit of flexibility. I would'nt worry about leaving them waiting on the doorstep if I was running a little late and they would have 5 minutes to get their shoes on.

Nope. The sort of people to keep you waiting every week, despite knowing you'll be there at that time, despite being asked repeatedly if they could be ready and waiting at pickup time, are not likely to care much who is picking up and why, just so long as they get picked up.

This.

This is why I would never enter this arrangement.
Unfortunately some people do not treat getting a lift from someone respectfully and with appreciation.
They just cause annoyance for the driver.

Standing outside ready to hop in is the only way this should work....otherwise sort out another lift.

If this is picking up a kid /step kid on way home from work at childminders/other parent/ then it's less reasonable.

If it's 2 grown adults then Gordon should be ready to be collected at correct time.

Until the word spreads far enough that all the new people have been warned not to pick her up!

Billy should text Gordon: mate, I'm doing you a favour giving you lifts, so I need you to be ready outside when I arrive. You need to go outside when you get my text that I'm leaving home. If you can't do that, then I'll can't give you lifts any more. It's up to you."

and none of that stuff would mean that it is ok to ignore the "i'm on my way" and not be ready. None of it.

Gordon needs to be told, ‘Sorry, but if you’re not ready in future, I’ll be going without you.’

Is he elderly? Because from personal experience*, you can tell certain older people that you need to leave at 12.30, and only at 12.29 do they need a wee, need to put their coat on, change their shoes, find their bag, make sure they’ve got whatever, etc.
One such - the worst! - actually was a Gordon! And IMO he actually enjoyed keeping everybody else waiting. You could guarantee that he’d do it - it was a control thing.

Jesus, what a palaver. Billy needs to get tough & tell Gordon that he'll be outside his house at x time & if he's not there, ready to jump in the car, then he's sailing on by...end of.

(Obviously, if Billy is there before the agreed time, he either needs to wait &/or text to say he's outside & give Gordon till the agreed time to get in the car. )

Gordon is being extremely rude. Billy is doing him a favour, he should be ready when Billy pulls up. Billy needs to say to Gordon 'look mate, I'm happy to give you a lift to x every week but you need to be ready at 7. Every week you leave me sitting waiting for up to 10 minutes, it's extremely rude and makes us both late'.

Billy should text Gordon ‘I’m on my way…to work’ and leave entitled Gordon to make his own way to work!

And in contrast, my 75-year-old father would come straight out as soon as he saw the car approaching from his window.

I’m wondering more about the posters on other late threads who say they’re ‘time blind’ or can’t cope with being early because of issues like ADHD or anxiety & maybe wouldn’t be capable of getting ready to go at the first text.

Although it does sound more as if Gordon is simply a knob.

I do often wonder about those people who can’t help it because of ADHD or whatever. What happens if and when they have children? Are those children invariably late for school, or do they somehow manage it most of the time?

“Gordon I am doing you a favour picking you up but you are making us late by not being ready which is getting annoying. From now on I will be outside at 6 and if you are not there waiting I will drive on and you will have to make your own way”

Your DH will just need to make sure he keeps up his side of the bargain and always be there on time

@ThatAgileGoldMoose

"Absolutely not ageist bollocks. Just my personal experience of men of that age group"

Black people are always late. Absolutely not racist bollocks- just my personal experience of people in that ethnic group.

Does Billy wait in a parking space, lay-by or double yellows? This would matter for me.

If i were Billy, I would not be sending a message when waiting unless I was parked safely and my engine was off as that is the law.

When this happens to me I find it infuriating. I will be driving wearing my driving glasses, then have to fish out my reading glasses to text. So annoying.

Gordon is going rude. If someone is giving you a lift you at the door ready 5 mins before they due to collect you. If I was billy I would stop the lifts.