To have told DD she has to come to family day out regardless of how she feels?

[Dawevi]

For years DD15 was massively into Harry Potter and was desperate to go to the HP experience. DS10 is quite a few years younger than her and is now into HP and they have played HP games together, DD has dressed DS up, read him the books, etc, and so we decided to book to go as a family. We gave them the tickets months ago as a surprise and DD seemed underwhelmed but wouldn't talk to us about it. She's autistic so we thought she might just be overwhelmed.

It's now in a few weeks and she told me tonight she doesn't want to go. She hasn't really said why and won't talk about it.

AIBU to have told her that we are going and that's it? It's expensive, I'm pretty sure she will enjoy it or at least bits of it once there, and sometimes we just have to do stuff we aren't so keen on, in my opinion. I personally have never read or watched any HP and nor has DH, but I imagine we will find things to enjoy.

AIBU?

She is definitely not too old for it. Even if she isn't that into HP now, it's agreat day out. If you can't leave her alone at home then she has to come. Bet she will love it. Lots of PP on here have obviously not been. I thought the same, that it was aimed at children, but it's more showcasing the movie sets. I loved the movies so perhpas bias as it's really nice to see them IRL. But my OH who has only watched the first movie also really enjoyed it. Costumes, the lay out, lots of interesting facts about special effects etc. The staff were all lovely. I'd go back if it wasn't quite an expensive day out.

The tickets are expensive, but it’s likely the op has two free carer tickets with two disabled dc. And the tickets would be easy to sell on if not.

Can you really not see why she's pissed off.
She wanted to go for years but you never took her.

OP can't see beyond her big surprise family day.

Well you should be able to explain why you think someone is a bigot? If they are then it shouldn't be difficult.

Maybe you could find an example.

An entirely sensible suggestion but not one the OP is likely to consider as she's determined this must be a "family day" (except when it's a "birthday present")

When was she last into them?

Dd14 wanted to go to London for a vampire event then when it came to the time didn't want to go.

But we had booked the hotel and tickets. She went but I do think HP is for younger kids.

My point is the OP is the parent , she wants to take her 15 year old somewhere nice for the day, she is in charge, she is the decision maker, just bloody well take her.

But if you don't want to go, and DD doesn't want to go, then why can't your DH and DS just go?

OP "AIBU"
posters "maybe"
OP "No I am not"

Oh come on, don’t be disingenuous- it’s well known at this point how extreme her views are on trans people. She literally decided an Olympian athlete was a man because she didn’t look feminine enough 😂 she’s not only anti-trans, she’s anti-feminist in my opinion. Anyway, absolutely not my job to educate you, please feel free to google and have a nice day- I’m too old for arguing with people on the internet!

I’m so glad my parents weren’t into dictatorship. I never went on a family holiday after the age of about 12 because I hated them. Mt granny moved in with me when they went away and everyone had a better time. Forcing teenagers to do stuff they don’t want is awful, at 15 she’s plenty old enough to make her own decisions.

Are you posting from 2022? The tide has changed on that one. Younger teens especially just laugh at the trans stuff now, they see it as attention seeking nonsense and have no time for it. They couldn't give a shit about whether or not JKR is a terf or not because to them that's just adults arguing about unfashionable bollocks.

It’s only somewhere nice for the day if she wants to go though.

for lots of people Disney would be nice for the day but if someone wanted to take me there I wouldn’t find it nice.

You know no one believes that lie? Imane Khelif tested repeatedly as having a y chromosome. Imane Khelif is biologically male and everyone who hasn't got an agenda knows it. You are defending male repeatedly punching women in the face.

This btw, is why the youth are laughing at people like you now.

Teenagers also need to understand that sometimes we do nice things for other people, because they do nice things for us. Selfish, entitled teenagers have a habit of turning into selfish, entitled adults.

You think standing up for the rights, privacy and dignity of women and girls is bigoted? And to champion the erosion of those things is ‘positive’? Oh dear…

If you’re teaching your teenagers that, then that is shameful and worrying. And what a pity they’re missing out in the JKR magic because of some warped worldview like that… 😔

What does JKR thinking Imane Khelif is male (I agree with her fwiw, as did Khelif's opponents & as does Khelif's coach...) have to do with trans people? Khelif's not trans, & was vocally offended at any such suggestion.

I'm not sure you're in a position to educate anyone. You seem confused.

Anyway, OP, I think I'd just send ds with one parent & sell the other tickets (unless there's anyone else you can think of who'd like to join). & take on board that you've now reached the stage in your family journey when family days out need to be planned by consensus...

The OP refused for years to take her daughter to HP. And this is supposed to be her daughter's birthday present. Is your birthday present often something you don't want?

It is not well known. Lots of people say things about her but I have yet to be given an example of her bigotry. So can you find an example for me.

Oh and the Olympic boxer IS male. Biologically male. But the Olympic committee allows anyone with an 'F' in their passport to compete against women, or in this case to beat women.

So come on, find an example of when / where JKR has expresses extreme views on trans people?

Can dh take ds? You do something with dd.----

She has to go.
She can throw her weight around and make choices when she is 18. Right now she is a child and what the adults say goes.

If she's a HP fan, I would tell her she has to come.
I went this year with my daughter, we both love HP but even for someone who's not interested in HP, it still has lots of interesting information on the creation of the films.
How things were filmed to seem a certain way, costume and creature creations etc. Lots of interactive things to do and if that's still not winning, food court half way wasn't too bad 😉.
I would say if she uses ear defenders or has a comfort in busy or loud places then take them/it with you. The staff are really helpful too.

Being forced to go somewhere against your will isn’t doing something nice. It’s hardly selfish or entitled to say “It’s not my thing, please give my ticket to someone who’ll enjoy it and go without me”. Quite the reverse in fact. We’re constantly telling women not to “be kind” and put other people’s wishes before their own, those lessons need to start early.