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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be frustrated when people make assumptions about your lifestyle based on your appearance?

180 replies

ShadeMuse · 25/09/2024 17:28

I’ve noticed that people often make assumptions about my lifestyle or financial situation based on my appearance, and it annoys me. I feel like they’re judging me without knowing my actual circumstances. AIBU to be upset by these assumptions and to expect people to avoid making judgements based on looks?

OP posts:
MelodyMalone · 30/09/2024 10:35

AtouchOfCloth · 30/09/2024 08:31

I understand where you're coming from as I find people raise their eyebrows when I mention my eldest is a teenager. It is human nature to make judgements regarding other people in general but it's still frustrating when people make them without all of the facts.

I always looked younger than I was and did find I got stereotyped as a dozy young mum
when my son was little (I was young, but not as young as I looked). Now he's 33, people still express surprise, but I take it as a compliment now 😄

CassandraWebb · 30/09/2024 11:02

MelodyMalone · 30/09/2024 10:35

I always looked younger than I was and did find I got stereotyped as a dozy young mum
when my son was little (I was young, but not as young as I looked). Now he's 33, people still express surprise, but I take it as a compliment now 😄

Show quote history

I looked very young when I had my son. I was 29 but very fresh faced and slim and still got ID'd regularly. I had two degrees and a professional career and was married but I could tell some of the mums at baby group (most of whom were in their late 30s/early 40s) saw me as some kind of teen mum.

I just found amusing if they talked down to me, I think a few got a shock when they finally realised who I was (I had quite a high profile job locally).

JaneJeffer · 30/09/2024 13:22

I have made a snap judgment based on your four posts on this thread but I don't think you'd like to hear it.

DoreenonTill8 · 30/09/2024 14:03
Mean Girls Movie GIF by filmeditor

Ops not a regular poster ..

ForZanyAquaViewer · 25/03/2025 11:05

Nosleepforthismum · 25/09/2024 18:43

My kids go to a church preschool. I was once told I’d come to the wrong entrance when I came to pick them up and taken to the other side of the church where they had a food donation area to support people in need. I was in a paint stained t-shirt, leggings, odd socks and lidl’s version of crocs so it was probably fair. They were so lovely and I couldn’t tell them I was completely financially fine and that I regularly donated to the scheme so I just took a loaf of bread, mumbled politely through and prayed for death.

And yes, I was far too embarrassed to even pick my kids up so pretended there was an emergency so they were kept for an additional half an hour with the other children staying and I made DH go and get them. Not my finest hour, I must admit, but now I always try to find matching socks as a bare minimum to leave the house.

I GUFFAWED! 🤣🤣🤣

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