To be frustrated when people make assumptions about your lifestyle based on your appearance?

[ShadeMuse]

I’ve noticed that people often make assumptions about my lifestyle or financial situation based on my appearance, and it annoys me. I feel like they’re judging me without knowing my actual circumstances. AIBU to be upset by these assumptions and to expect people to avoid making judgements based on looks?

Thank you. That genuinely means a lot to me 🌸
I have unfortunately lost most of my 'softness' but this reminds me that there are kind and decent human beings out there. 🤍

Well how else would people start learning about other people we get told we can't ask personal questions because it may offend, people shouldn't make small talk because other people have issue's

So what are people meant to do?

Most professionals are well groomed. I would assume it's something else unless you are heavily made-up.

People assume I have it all together. I don't. I just dress well and love fashion. I'm an ex model so I tend to carry myself well. I've been told I come off as intimidating until I open my mouth. Lol

There is a famous American actor who was standing outside a beverly hills grocery store. He looked so mangy someone gave him a dollar thinking he was homeless.

Yanbu, OP.

People do make assumptions and these assumptions are often ' worse' than the reality.
People are often judged as not being mature/ rich / educated enough solely on how they look.

It's wrong to treat people differently due to assumptions.

Obviously, humans instinctively make innate judgements on those they come across, but that is whether we find someone a threat .

It's never a complimentary thing when people take one look at you and assume you are single though is it ?

I'm just intrigued as to how many people let you know this - does it come up? Do they gasp in shock when you mention your partner?

Doesn't bother me in the least

People are bound to assume things based on appearance. Move on, stop being so self obsessed. They probably just give you a passing thought

I'm still a bit confused about what people mistakenly think op is?!

I am totally the same!! Am incredibly scruffy….I get followed around shops (as I live in a very wealthy area) I am though very well off…I dress up for work….and charity and black tie events…..but I love just chilling in the scruffy clothes, hair pulled back….zero make- up, diamond free! I kind of like to see the real person….i hate fakeness…and would never treat anyone differently, be they homeless or Royal family…..and I confess I judge people that do!

If I was very beautiful but also very clever I’d enjoy confusing people. Better to be underestimated and prove them wrong than oversell yourself.

Did we ever find out what the gripe was, I can’t seem to see it. I think OP only posted three vague comments.

Only an overweight person would write this

Least that lunch anda pint sorted lol

Is this why i not met a 90 yr od billionaire who is single and ready to marry me damn

Wrong. I wrote it. I'm 8 stone 10. I just read a LOT of posts from other slim women who seem to think the whole thing is a vale of tears caused by the jealousy of larger women. Which ime is BS.

😂😂

Not rude; hilarious!

May I ask what assumptions people tend to make when they meet you @ShadeMuse?

So what exactly are they judging you for. Being slim and attractive ?
If you’re a lazy slob that lives on crisps and spends your days watching day time television, can you not just put people straight.

So what assumptions are they making?
I thought that generally the more attractive you are the better you get treated; so it probably means you get better service etc due to their assumptions.

The trouble is that we evolved to make snap judgements based on appearance (which would save our lives) and those only change if and when we get the opportunity to get to know a person better.

I've definitely made assumptions on people based on their looks.

A few years ago I was in line behind a woman and her son at an amusement park. I noticed her as she was wearing some really uncomfortable shoes. They were from primark, I knee as I had tried them on and they were so painful I couldn't even take a few steps in store.
Her feet were cut to ribbons.
She was nicely dressed but everything she was wearing looked cheap, her son was dressed cheaply too.
I remember thinking how fortunate I was that I was able to bring my son to the fair and it wasn't really a hardship, but to me it seemed like this was a big treat for them.

Then her husband joined them in the queue, he was instantly recognisable as one of the richest men in the country. Known for coming from a rough area and building up a fortune through sport.

So I leant a bit of a lesson that day. Though it is still hard I find if you only get a brief snapshot of someone's life, and you are an intense people watcher like me.

Buy on the otherhand, I honestly couldn't care less what others think of me. Unless they know me and care about me, they can think what they like.

I remember once going to see a new locum GP when I was a mature student at uni. I had just been swimming and was heading for a lecture after. I wouldn’t have won many style awards. I had old trainers, crazy patterned leggings, a hoodie, a coat I bought for warmth not styleI never wear make up and I had my wet hair scraped back in a health and safety ponytail.

I forget exactly why I had to go in, but I know I needed another prescription for my epilepsy.
The consultation was ending and the GP added ‘Do you find it hard to hold down a job because of your epilepsy?’
I yanked my ID out from under my hoodie hoping she wasn’t close enough, or still too new to realise that staff IDs were maroon and students’ IDs red.
’No, but the drugs make me quite tired as lectures go on.’
Got up walked out.
Have had other incidents of being stereotyped by the medical profession in particular because of the way you dress/your condition.
No idea why so many voted that you were being unreasonable.

I understand where you're coming from as I find people raise their eyebrows when I mention my eldest is a teenager. It is human nature to make judgements regarding other people in general but it's still frustrating when people make them without all of the facts.