To be frustrated when people make assumptions about your lifestyle based on your appearance?

[ShadeMuse]

I’ve noticed that people often make assumptions about my lifestyle or financial situation based on my appearance, and it annoys me. I feel like they’re judging me without knowing my actual circumstances. AIBU to be upset by these assumptions and to expect people to avoid making judgements based on looks?

Never fear OP, at some point you will reach the age of female invisibility and nobody will make any assumptions at all, because they cannot see you 😄

(Tongue in cheek, I'm quite happy with my age, and actually don't mind the occasional invisibility!)

It’s interesting that some of the last few comments find it hard to have sympathy for another woman if they’re slim and attractive. It’s almost as if you have to deem yourself void of confidence, or claim to be fat and/or unattractive to get sympathy here, or be allowed to have feelings as a woman. It’s utterly disgusting.

How strange, a blank post?!?! 🤔

🤭

😂

Nah, it's more that this is the internet and anyone can be who they want given that we're all anonymous.

Well that and the fact you've not bothered to give examples?

I still don’t know what the actual issue is.

Absolutely everyone has thoughts on people, and when you first meet them, appearance is all you have to go on. And that includes you.

The difference is when people are rude enough to voice their assumptions.

Get in with it OP, it'll be bedtime soon.

🙄

As has been said, it's human nature to make provisional judgements on first sight.

If you've ever been in the presence of a man who made you feel uncomfortable, you'd know why it's human nature.

But it's the provisional bit that's important. I met a colleague who seemed to be scowling at me, the first time we spoke. My provisional impression was she may not like me. But, I didn't act on that impression. My logical head told me that as we had never met before she couldn't really dislike me. Turns out she was a lovely woman who I grew to really enjoy. She just had one of those faces that lapsed into a scowl when relaxed.

We all do it, all of the time. I cannot always tell you why I may feel uncomfortable in someone's presence in first meeting them, but if never not listen to that little voice that's telling me I don't like to be there. It's self preservation.

😂

I find it quite funny actually. I am from a very poor area, grew up penniless.

I got the train back to that stop one day as the bus wasn’t running… I have never been looked at with such disdain, like I was lost or had wandered off the path in to the badlands. Like ok I dress better now, I’ve been lucky, very lucky, but essentially I’m just the same as anyone else on that street. I feel like saying “oi oi! What are you staring at!” because the moment you hear me speak, there’s no denying where I’m from.

But did you collect the kids?

edited - re read. That’s ridiculous.

The reason you are getting no sympathy is because you haven’t bothered to explain what your issue is.

What, like you don't do it??

I wonder if it has more to do with your general attitude rather than your appearance as a slim, attractive woman. 😄

Wow, very prejudiced comment; laden with bias

People are judgemental arseholes strangely many serial killer types or attackers wear suits i remember watching a true film dude was a motorcycle rider hells angel type guy yet he was so kind yet the dude in a suit good job turned out yo be depraved so yes folk judge wrongly to

I presume people are making judgements about me from my appearance, as it's only human nature, but I've never experienced any harm or people saying anything upsetting on that account.

I suggest you read my previous response regarding this comment.

I wasn’t being serious FFS 🙄

So what presumptions are made about you op? That you’re dim because you’re beautiful? That you’re rich because you’re beautiful? That you’re happy because you’re beautiful?

Thought of another.. that you’re mean because you’re beautiful?

I used to be annoyed about this because sometimes people would treat me poorly because they thought I didn't have much money. Now I find it interesting to see.
I have different values to them for what I want to spend my money on and it's never going to be impressing strangers and acquaintances.

It’s quite amusing when that happens.

My partner’s boss is heavily tattooed (we are talking everything other than his face), has a shaved head and a heavy cockney accent.

Hes the Chief Information Officer for a multinational and earns pots of money, is always being flown to the US on business class and giving lectures on technology etc. He gets loads of this sort of thing and really leans into it because he gets a kick out of people double taking when confronted with their own prejudice.

I can’t say I blame him.

So if you’re all slim and beautiful, what’s the problem?
Are people assuming you’re a health food freak and neglecting to offer you the biscuits when they get passed round the office?