To be frustrated when people make assumptions about your lifestyle based on your appearance?

[ShadeMuse]

I’ve noticed that people often make assumptions about my lifestyle or financial situation based on my appearance, and it annoys me. I feel like they’re judging me without knowing my actual circumstances. AIBU to be upset by these assumptions and to expect people to avoid making judgements based on looks?

When I was 10% body fat often people assumed I was a runner but I was actually drug addict 😂

😂

If you're scruffy, overweight and a bit smelly, then yes, people probably do assume you might not be middle-class. Lose weight, have a wash, smarten up a bit and you'll be fine.

I like surprising people.

Anyway it's a completely normal human trait, to look at a person and use that information to suss them out, when you have nothing else to go on.

Really don't think I should admit this but...fuck it.

I'm fat. Always been fat. Used to get very annoyed by people thinking I must be stupid because I'm fat. Don't try telling me that people aren't like that because they often are.

So, I decided to play the part when the opportunity presented itself for personal gain. Now, I get such stereotype clutching people to do what I want but leave them with the impression that it was their own idea. Then I laugh at them.

Everyone judges other people as soon as they look at them. I do it but I've completely forgotten the person a minute later.

You mean nothing to strangers so I'm not sure why you think it matters.

This seems like projection. I am a slim and attractive woman so this does not apply to me.

What assumptions do you think people are making about you?

What exactly is your issue? Nobody can meaningfully comment without more detail.

No

Wow. So rude!

My kids go to a church preschool. I was once told I’d come to the wrong entrance when I came to pick them up and taken to the other side of the church where they had a food donation area to support people in need. I was in a paint stained t-shirt, leggings, odd socks and lidl’s version of crocs so it was probably fair. They were so lovely and I couldn’t tell them I was completely financially fine and that I regularly donated to the scheme so I just took a loaf of bread, mumbled politely through and prayed for death.

And yes, I was far too embarrassed to even pick my kids up so pretended there was an emergency so they were kept for an additional half an hour with the other children staying and I made DH go and get them. Not my finest hour, I must admit, but now I always try to find matching socks as a bare minimum to leave the house.

So does everyone think you're rich because you're slim and attractive, but you're actually skint?

So what assumptions are they making? Is this one of those threads where you're going to say that because you're slim and attractive everyone thinks you're a model when really you do something highly cerebral and requiring great strength and derring do, and you're the boss of a thousand men?

It's human nature 🤷‍♂️

If I saw you leaving a shop doorway at 5am, looking filthy dirty with your hair looking unbrushed and your clothes full of holes, I'm going to assume you're homeless and you spent the night there.

I find I couldn’t care less anymore. Nor do I judge others.

Age is a wonderful thing.

Removed as posted twice.

Sarcasm doesn't come well across in text - I was taking the piss.

I suspect you are on the right track 😂

Of course it is. This is why it was so easy to get OP’s back up with the ‘maybe smarten up a bit’ comments. This will all be about how unfair it is that people make assumptions about her on the grounds of her extreme beauty and impeccable style.

nosleepforthismum

I know I shouldn't but that really made me laugh

I can so imagine doing that !

I'm tattooed, pierced, wear short dresses, have long bright nails, dyed blonde hair and wear makeup, with four kids. People assume (they've told me!) I'm a 'bimbo', on benefits, a 'chav' and have multiple 'baby dads'.

I can literally see peoples mouths drop open when I talk and they head a well educated, well spoken, intelligent business woman who is married to the dad of all her kids.

I don't make assumptions based on looks

Oh there was one the other week, wasn't there?

Totes slim and attractive, working in retail but kept getting told buy customers she should be a model.

#HardKnockLife

So what frustrating assumptions are people making about your slim and attractive self?

Everyone sums new people up at a glance which is fair enough, but there is a big difference between doing that and being judgemental about it, and then looking down your nose at them based on that judgement.

YANBU OP.