If you dc is at a private school, do you genuinely think…

[Palmollive]

That they are happier because of it?

I don’t care about exam results or what job dd will get etc. I just want her to be as happy as possible. Would private be more likely to achieve that than state?

I've no comparison, he's been there since nursery. But he's happy, well rounded, and LOVES school.

DD went to a private prep school, and yes, I do think that she was happier because of it. She was an incredibly shy child so small class sizes, a tight knit community and plenty of one to one attention from teachers was very beneficial. She absolutely thrived there and really came out of her shell.

She had extra curricular opportunities that she definitely wouldn’t have had in the state sector along with the most amazing school grounds - acres of fields + forest to run, explore, play and just be free in each day. It was idyllic and we still look back on those days with very fond memories.

Absolutely no doubt or there is no way I would be paying for it

For mine yes I would say he's happier in private school. He's sensitive, kind and calm and our state secondary school would have broken him. That being said it depends on your child. My friend's DS big for his age, plays football and is very confident. He's happy in state secondary and would probably not be as happy in my DS's private school.

I taught a boy who came to a state secondary after a private prep school. He was miserable. Hated the large classes, hated the kids who just didn't want to learn and disrupted lessons, he got picked on because he had hobbies.

He finished Y11 with good GCSEs but never really fitted in.

His mum worked at the prep school so they got a huge discount but it was only upto Y8.

Yes, she’s quite quirky and young for her age, her prep school is very supportive and accepting of each individual child. She loves school ❤️

Yes definitely. We moved two from state to private (for their all round happiness rather than academics etc). They are both changed children in all aspects. The staff have the time and resources to really know them and their needs. I think it does depend on the school though. We picked schools that had nurturing holistic approaches. Others might have better facilities/results etc. We started our youngest in private from reception (given our experience with her older siblings) and she has absolutely loved school from day 1. Its really financially painful so you have to weigh up your circumstances, but 100% worth it for us.

It's not necessarily about small class sizes etc - in fact that can be a problem if your pool of potential friends is too small. It's about your peers - are they nice? Are they kind? My child is at state - great bunch of supportive kind friends. My niece is at private - toxic gang of queen bees with very few other girls to make friends with.

Thanks for feedback! I’m not sure what to do, have a year or so to decide ☺️

My SEN DC has just started at pre-prep and seems very happy and I have better communication with teachers, so safe to say I want him to stay on there rather than state. This is after DC being at a different setting and him reacting very differently now for the better so I can only go off that.

Yes, I do.

Smaller, quieter classes, lots of extra curriculars and music (over 20 different ensembles for voice and instrument), huge choice of subjects and languages, lots of space for a slightly more quirky teen to flourish alongside a queen bee. More chilled teachers who actually have the time and space to breathe.

DT’s were at private from 4-18. Not our original plan but English is their third language and we wanted them in an international school where they could continue with their two primary languages

Yes, definitely. She is at a small nurturing prep. She loves school and misses it during the holidays. I think it's the extra attention from small class sizes, excellent behaviour, opportunity for trips and fun learning activities, and the extracurriculars that make a difference.

I was talking more with regards to attention from teachers and personalised learning - smaller classes mean that teaching can be easily individualised for specific children, nobody falls behind unnoticed and pastoral care issues are picked up on and dealt with faster.

DD’s year group had 2 classes of 14 - 7 girls, 7 boys in each. We found it to be perfect. Not too big yet not too small and isolating.

Are you asking whether money can buy happiness?

No. My children are at private school. They are happy. The two things are completely unrelated. They could be miserable in a different private school, happy in a state school. This is a ridiculous question.

Happiness is multi faceted surely. Maybe children at private schools are happier because they are not living in poverty.

I have been to, and taught in both state and private schools. And have children in state education. Not all children in any one of those places are happy, not all are sad. Different places suit different children and only knowledge of your child and any given institution should influence your decision.

My DD7 is a private school. She is generally very anxious and struggles academically. I think she would be much more stressed in the state sector with the large classes and distractions. She is currently in a class of 15 but in groups of 10 for phonics and maths.

Yes. I honestly do not send them for results in any way other than the fact they are happy.

I never ever thought I would go private but my child was bullied so badly I was so scared for her in every way.
The local school were appalling in managing the situation and we ended up at private school as a very desperate measure.

My daughter now says daily in a surprised voice ‘I’m happy’. Very worth it for us.

Absolutely. DD was miserable at state secondary school so we moved her as her mental health was suffering . She went from fearing school to loving it. She went from the bullied kid to being the popular one. She felt safe at private school.

We didn't go private for academic success. DD would have failed all GCSEs at state but she got four 4s plus a couple of 5s at private so we are over the moon with that. We actually didn't expect her to pass any - we were just focussed on her mental well being and physical health really.

My bright SEN DC were super happy in their private school. Thanks to Labour I was forced to move them to grammar. They are fine academically (find it too easy if anything) but struggling really badly with class size and general environment.

It's impossible to know surely? You can't try out both and once you're used to one system it's often difficult to switch, esp socially.
My DD moved to a private and was so miserable we moved her back to state. She hated the small classes and said it felt like she was in a goldfish bowl. She was 14 though and had been in the state system her whole life.

I'm going to go against the grain here. We put our 2 daughters into a private school at 7. they stayed there until they did the 11+ and then went to a state grammar school.
Although it was a useful school for them as they did well academically and the curriculum was much more interesting than in the states school (lots of enrichment and visits and specialised subject teachers to make the lessons come alive) they were never happy there. They never made close friends, always on the periphery. Too difficult to do playdates as school went on until 6pm and everyone lived miles away. They were not sporty enough, not successful enough. Parents were all very driven and a bit cliquey too.
The girls have been happier at the grammar where there are lots of geeky kids although it is not perfect, still too competitive (one has chosen to stay there for 6th form, one has gone to a different school).
My son however went to the local comp (not money reasons but they would not accept him and his autism at the private school the girls were at) and it has been delightful. Not pushy, barely any homework, sport but perfectly fine not to be into it. He has made the best friends there, had a whale of a time, always been very nutured and supported by the staff. We went to every school fair, school camping, Christmas party that was on offer. It felt like one big happy family (mostly). He has just started at the very big comp and also seems to be thriving although it's early days.
Maybe it is different kids as to why my son has been happy and my daughters have not but I think the lovely inclusive state school made a difference.
I have enough money I'd send all three of them private if it was the right school but there is nothing local that I currently think offers better than the comp for happiness which is all I care about (although I'll keep an eye on it).

@Foxesandsquirrels you say it’s impossible to know but then say you moved your child because she was unhappy?

But I guess generally speaking it’s hard to identify if any school is better than another on a happiness level

Children are not (primary) but I went to private school. I think it always depends on the school. I went to some (military family so lots of moving) I didn’t gel with and others that I absolutely loved. My sixth form was a girls sixth form where I felt empowered, no bullying and was surrounded by girls who were ambitious and kind. I loved it and made life long friends.

on the flip side…. Was in the hairdressers recently where a girl was having her hair dramatically dyed as she was getting bullied for her hair colour! This was a local private girls school.

I went to a private school and I was unhappy.

My son has always gone to state schools (primary, local village first school due to us moving and now middle school) and has always loved school.

I think it all just depends on the child and the school x